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I AM the grinch.
I AM the grinch.
I admit it. I'm a grinch. I just can't see spending all this money on gifts, when so many people/organizations are suffering.
All the money spent on Christmas could be so well spent on something better.
My husband and myself agreed about a month ago to just put some money into the Vvcation account instead of buying things we don't need. Also, we would match that amount and send the money to our local spca. Well, that's changed. He grew up with HUGE christmas and a rediculous amount of present under his tree. I didn't. Now he wants presents and he wants to buy for me too. I really don't need anything and what I would like money doesn't buy.
Seriously, I've been out everyday buying gifts, making cookies, decorating the house, etc.
Isn't there a better way? I just don't see the point anymore.
I need help!
All the money spent on Christmas could be so well spent on something better.
My husband and myself agreed about a month ago to just put some money into the Vvcation account instead of buying things we don't need. Also, we would match that amount and send the money to our local spca. Well, that's changed. He grew up with HUGE christmas and a rediculous amount of present under his tree. I didn't. Now he wants presents and he wants to buy for me too. I really don't need anything and what I would like money doesn't buy.
Seriously, I've been out everyday buying gifts, making cookies, decorating the house, etc.
Isn't there a better way? I just don't see the point anymore.
I need help!
"Paradise...it's a state of mine"
For the most part, I feel the same way. I do enjoy the decorating, the big meal on Christmas day and the festivities, but I think the gift thing gets way out of control.
In our family, we make Christmas more about the kids in the family, but even still, we are cutting back this year. We are each buying only for our respective godchildren, and then we do one "dirty Santa" gift per person for a gift exchange. Much more fun than picking up random stuff for each person!
The spouse thing is hard. We're going back and forth b/c we've got a baby due shortly after Christmas. We are buying a laptop, but will probably do one or two small gifts for each other. Have you thought about doing a book exchange between you and your husband? You each go out and pick out a book for the other and exchange. It's interesting to see what your spouse picks out.
In our family, we make Christmas more about the kids in the family, but even still, we are cutting back this year. We are each buying only for our respective godchildren, and then we do one "dirty Santa" gift per person for a gift exchange. Much more fun than picking up random stuff for each person!
The spouse thing is hard. We're going back and forth b/c we've got a baby due shortly after Christmas. We are buying a laptop, but will probably do one or two small gifts for each other. Have you thought about doing a book exchange between you and your husband? You each go out and pick out a book for the other and exchange. It's interesting to see what your spouse picks out.
LOL ALW. I LOVE to read, my husband on the other hand doesn't. I've bought him books and I'm the one that end up reading them.
His list would be something like work socks, a belt, a hoodie, things like that. He likes war movies and any mob movies, but it's the same old thing all the time.
I would be happy to just be healthy and happy and for him to donate his money to a couple organizations. I really don't need another sweater, or gloves or anything. If I need something, I buy it.
The holidays just seem so exhausting to me...I don't think I'll ever get it.
It may have something to do with my father dying when I was young, things never seemed the same after that. And, after loosing my daughters fiance, we stopped celebrating. We use to do Christmas Eve and we use to have over 60 people here. It was alot of fun, but now it's just different. Another day.
It's just a bad day for me I guess. I need kids around me to actually feel the Christmas spirit.
His list would be something like work socks, a belt, a hoodie, things like that. He likes war movies and any mob movies, but it's the same old thing all the time.
I would be happy to just be healthy and happy and for him to donate his money to a couple organizations. I really don't need another sweater, or gloves or anything. If I need something, I buy it.
The holidays just seem so exhausting to me...I don't think I'll ever get it.
It may have something to do with my father dying when I was young, things never seemed the same after that. And, after loosing my daughters fiance, we stopped celebrating. We use to do Christmas Eve and we use to have over 60 people here. It was alot of fun, but now it's just different. Another day.
It's just a bad day for me I guess. I need kids around me to actually feel the Christmas spirit.
"Paradise...it's a state of mine"
I can definitely understand that. When you have a bad association with a holiday, it tends to keep going. Have you checked out the kiva site? That organization makes microloans to small businesses all over the world. You can contribute as little as $25 to the entrepreneur of your choice and then watch as they repay the loan. Then, you get your initial investment back and can re-loan to another person or group. It might be worth telling your husband you want to spend x amount on something like that and then pick out your choices on Christmas Day and contribute then. Just a thought.
We are a no gift house, sort of.
For years, Husband and I didn't exchange gifts. For different reasons, neither of us had overly happy feelings about Christmas that were directly related to our upbringing. We were totally fine with not doing gifts. We also didn't exchange with other family members or friends.
Our "gifts" were travel and experiences.
Our son gets gifts but so far, we have been able to keep it reasonable.
We have decided this year to do one gift each only because our son may one day take up with a person to whom gift-giving is very important so we are trying to set an example for him by being thoughtful, mindful and financially responsible when it comes to presents.
We will decorate and enjoy the season, I am not a total scrouge. The commercialism does sicken me. I went to the mall the other day, some place I never visit, and the decorations and merchandise was overwhemlming and a bit depressing to me.
For years, Husband and I didn't exchange gifts. For different reasons, neither of us had overly happy feelings about Christmas that were directly related to our upbringing. We were totally fine with not doing gifts. We also didn't exchange with other family members or friends.
Our "gifts" were travel and experiences.
Our son gets gifts but so far, we have been able to keep it reasonable.
We have decided this year to do one gift each only because our son may one day take up with a person to whom gift-giving is very important so we are trying to set an example for him by being thoughtful, mindful and financially responsible when it comes to presents.
We will decorate and enjoy the season, I am not a total scrouge. The commercialism does sicken me. I went to the mall the other day, some place I never visit, and the decorations and merchandise was overwhemlming and a bit depressing to me.
Why not have your 60 people over and have each one bring a canned item for the local food bank? You can also make the donation in memory of your father and daughter's fiance so that their memories are honored.
Heifer International is another cool way to gift. You buy some chickens, rabbits, goats or a heifer (if you want to spend alot)for people in third work countries.
They use the revenue from the animals to improve their own lives and I think they're expected to pass along some of the offspring of the prolific species (like rabbits).
I know what you mean Connie. After all the years of dragging the Christmas stuff up from the basement and decorating everything in the house I'm just sick of it. This year neither one of the kids will be home at Christmas and I'm debating on just how much decorating to do. I put the wreath on the door today and will probably drag up the little half sized artificial tree that I've switched to, but maybe I'll abbreviate the rest of it. The kids always loved having the whole house done but no one EVER helps and it takes me days.
My husband and I had to buy a new TV a couple weeks ago so my gift is going to be a 55 inch flat screen. But I'd rather go back to St John for some more sunshine and snorkeling!
Heifer International is another cool way to gift. You buy some chickens, rabbits, goats or a heifer (if you want to spend alot)for people in third work countries.
They use the revenue from the animals to improve their own lives and I think they're expected to pass along some of the offspring of the prolific species (like rabbits).
I know what you mean Connie. After all the years of dragging the Christmas stuff up from the basement and decorating everything in the house I'm just sick of it. This year neither one of the kids will be home at Christmas and I'm debating on just how much decorating to do. I put the wreath on the door today and will probably drag up the little half sized artificial tree that I've switched to, but maybe I'll abbreviate the rest of it. The kids always loved having the whole house done but no one EVER helps and it takes me days.
My husband and I had to buy a new TV a couple weeks ago so my gift is going to be a 55 inch flat screen. But I'd rather go back to St John for some more sunshine and snorkeling!
Heifer allowed us to break the friends/family gift habit years ago. Husband brought a few friends and relatives to the relationship that expected gifts (and also gave us gifts) at Christmas.Lindy wrote: Heifer International is another cool way to gift. You buy some chickens, rabbits, goats or a heifer (if you want to spend alot)for people in third work countries.
They use the revenue from the animals to improve their own lives and I think they're expected to pass along some of the offspring of the prolific species (like rabbits).
We did donations to Heifer and wrote each person a note telling them why we chose that specific animal.
It was well received and openned the door for everyone to say its ok to not exchange anymore.
Connie,
I totally get where you are coming from-but-
I am one of those that want a big Christmas to some extent. Not huge, but at least one item where my kids are totally stoked about it.
Here would be a compromise. Go along with it and mainly buy things that you would end up buying anyways. The things on his list sound like those sort of things. And you can ask him for some practical things you need or could use.
Then after the holiday send x amount of dollars per month or make a lunp sum donation to a charity.
Really, unless you get a luxury item, you won't be buying more than you would anyways, maybe just a little sooner.
I have great memories of my childhood Christmas, mainly because I did get a ton of presents. But we were "house poor" and so I just got it at Christmas instead of throughout the year. I even got toothpaste in my stocking! My husband thought I was insane when I put that kind of stuff in his stocking. I thought everyone else got it too.
But this way, he gets the fun of the holiday,recreating his memories, while in the end you still get to donate.
Just an idea.
I totally get where you are coming from-but-
I am one of those that want a big Christmas to some extent. Not huge, but at least one item where my kids are totally stoked about it.
Here would be a compromise. Go along with it and mainly buy things that you would end up buying anyways. The things on his list sound like those sort of things. And you can ask him for some practical things you need or could use.
Then after the holiday send x amount of dollars per month or make a lunp sum donation to a charity.
Really, unless you get a luxury item, you won't be buying more than you would anyways, maybe just a little sooner.
I have great memories of my childhood Christmas, mainly because I did get a ton of presents. But we were "house poor" and so I just got it at Christmas instead of throughout the year. I even got toothpaste in my stocking! My husband thought I was insane when I put that kind of stuff in his stocking. I thought everyone else got it too.
But this way, he gets the fun of the holiday,recreating his memories, while in the end you still get to donate.
Just an idea.
"Sponges grow in the ocean...I wonder how much deeper it would be if that didn't happen."
It's interesting to read everyone's take on the holidays. I enjoy this season and what comes with it but I never came from an over the top kind of family. We always did our decorations and getting our tree was always a highlight for me and I still feel that way today.
Christmas Eve was always the big deal for us. My mom had 25+ every year - a mix of family and friends. And then Christmas day was a time for Mass and visiting and ending up at my Aunt's house for Christmas dinner. That's how it was and I'd give anything for one more fresh ham at my Aunt Sis's. But she left us in 1992 and there have been a lot of moves and miles in between family since then. So now my sister took over Christmas Eve and I have my small family here for a Chirstmas day dinner (and I use my Aunt Sis's poinsetta dishes whenever I can).
This is how I grew up and it makes me laugh a little to hear my BFF who for YEARS went on and on about how she would NEVER take her kids out of their home for the Christmas. If people wanted to see them they had to come to them. Well that's all well and good but they live in Detroit and have zero family around them. So instead of going to others they have stuck to themselves out there. To each his own but that wouldn't have been my choice for my kids. But I don't have kids so I shouldn't say.
My husband didn't have a great childhood. His parents had a brutal divorce and it has affected his life in many many ways. But he's still a spirited and fun guy and I admire that about him. I too have tried the "lets not do gifts routine" but it is important to him to share that with me in our home so I oblige him that. We keep it VERY reasonable and do our best to make it fun for each other. And we do stockings too.
We share a lot of holiday time with others but when it is time for presents it just "our" time and we appreciate sharing that.
I hope you find a happy compromise, Connie.
Christmas Eve was always the big deal for us. My mom had 25+ every year - a mix of family and friends. And then Christmas day was a time for Mass and visiting and ending up at my Aunt's house for Christmas dinner. That's how it was and I'd give anything for one more fresh ham at my Aunt Sis's. But she left us in 1992 and there have been a lot of moves and miles in between family since then. So now my sister took over Christmas Eve and I have my small family here for a Chirstmas day dinner (and I use my Aunt Sis's poinsetta dishes whenever I can).
This is how I grew up and it makes me laugh a little to hear my BFF who for YEARS went on and on about how she would NEVER take her kids out of their home for the Christmas. If people wanted to see them they had to come to them. Well that's all well and good but they live in Detroit and have zero family around them. So instead of going to others they have stuck to themselves out there. To each his own but that wouldn't have been my choice for my kids. But I don't have kids so I shouldn't say.
My husband didn't have a great childhood. His parents had a brutal divorce and it has affected his life in many many ways. But he's still a spirited and fun guy and I admire that about him. I too have tried the "lets not do gifts routine" but it is important to him to share that with me in our home so I oblige him that. We keep it VERY reasonable and do our best to make it fun for each other. And we do stockings too.
We share a lot of holiday time with others but when it is time for presents it just "our" time and we appreciate sharing that.
I hope you find a happy compromise, Connie.
Argh, I feel your pain, Connie. John and I had agreed to not exchange gifts this year and instead put the $$ towards a vacation, but he is not keeping up his end of the agreement! There have been boxes on the porch almost every day and they are all gifts for me! Which means that now I have to figure out stuff to get him--he is really hard to buy for because if he sees something he wants he just gets it.
I do love Christmas though--the decorating and cooking and seeing the kids all excited. I'm just not much into the gift buying part.
I do love Christmas though--the decorating and cooking and seeing the kids all excited. I'm just not much into the gift buying part.
It's like looking in your soup and finding a whole different alphabet.
I completely agree with you on this point. My wife and I went to a Christmas Party Saturday night at a friend's house...All thirty-somethings, most with kids. However, it was an adult party (kids not invited)...We had a good time, but to me, Christmas is about the kids. I like to see kids running around together during the holidays.Connie wrote:I need kids around me to actually feel the Christmas spirit.
We're hosting our own annual Christmas Party this weekend, and there will be plenty of kids running around the house! Oh, and of course punch (Liamsaunt's recipe from last year).
July 2003 - Honeymoon at The Westin
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
Connie, I have to admit, I’m very childish. I love, if there are a lot of gifts underneath the Christmas tree, and I like to give gifts. I’m the one, who buys the gifts in the family – of course except from the gifts to myself. I always buy several gifts for my son, our family isn’t so big, our son is only child, and when he was child, we thought, he should have the same number of gifts as his friends with a big family.
Normally I buy at least 4 gifts per person. But many of them are very small gifts, so it isn’t so that we use a very big amount for Christmas. And every year hubby says that he will not buy so much for me, as he use to, but every year he do it nevertheless. He buys mostly things for the house or too example cosmetics, which I would have bought myself. And my gifts to him are mostly the same kind except from that I very often buy clothes for him, which is difficult for him to buy for me.
Anyway- last year I for the first time thought, it perhaps was too much with all these presents. Our grandchildren, 3 and 5 years old got an enormous number of gifts, from their parents, from us, and from the family of our DIL. They were totally confused and couldn’t find out what to play with, took one thing then another, and I could see that it has been better, if there hasn’t been so much for them. So this year I will buy fewer things for them.
So Connie, I’m sorry but I cannot give you an advice except from what your already are told. Buy
some practical gifts for your husband. Cloth, something for the garden or the house.
But I admire that you are willing to offer something for people who suffer.
Linne
Normally I buy at least 4 gifts per person. But many of them are very small gifts, so it isn’t so that we use a very big amount for Christmas. And every year hubby says that he will not buy so much for me, as he use to, but every year he do it nevertheless. He buys mostly things for the house or too example cosmetics, which I would have bought myself. And my gifts to him are mostly the same kind except from that I very often buy clothes for him, which is difficult for him to buy for me.
Anyway- last year I for the first time thought, it perhaps was too much with all these presents. Our grandchildren, 3 and 5 years old got an enormous number of gifts, from their parents, from us, and from the family of our DIL. They were totally confused and couldn’t find out what to play with, took one thing then another, and I could see that it has been better, if there hasn’t been so much for them. So this year I will buy fewer things for them.
So Connie, I’m sorry but I cannot give you an advice except from what your already are told. Buy
some practical gifts for your husband. Cloth, something for the garden or the house.
But I admire that you are willing to offer something for people who suffer.
Linne
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My parents have said for years that they don't need more stuff. We try to do experience-based gifts like a family outing to a museum, show, etc. For the last couple of years we have renewed their subscription to the local Arboretum.
On the other hand my M-I-L loves to see a huge pile of boxes under the tree. Think quantity, not quality. Most ends up getting donated. It seems like a waste.
One thing that puts me in the holiday spirit is what we do with some of our neighbors: we work with the school social workers to identify needy families (they don't tell us names of course, just ages and genders. Even in a 'hood full of million dollar homes, there are about 30 families with a real need. I can only imagine how great the need is in hard hit areas.) Each of us then sponsors as many of these kids as we want, with $50 gift card (Target)/kid for the parents to buy them whatever they need, plus a small gift that we pick out. I like shopping with my kids to pick out gifts for the kids we sponsor. (We also collect money to give them grocery gift cards before Thanksgiving, $100/family.) I love knowing that these families are having a better holiday. I always think "there but for the grace of God am I."
On the other hand my M-I-L loves to see a huge pile of boxes under the tree. Think quantity, not quality. Most ends up getting donated. It seems like a waste.
One thing that puts me in the holiday spirit is what we do with some of our neighbors: we work with the school social workers to identify needy families (they don't tell us names of course, just ages and genders. Even in a 'hood full of million dollar homes, there are about 30 families with a real need. I can only imagine how great the need is in hard hit areas.) Each of us then sponsors as many of these kids as we want, with $50 gift card (Target)/kid for the parents to buy them whatever they need, plus a small gift that we pick out. I like shopping with my kids to pick out gifts for the kids we sponsor. (We also collect money to give them grocery gift cards before Thanksgiving, $100/family.) I love knowing that these families are having a better holiday. I always think "there but for the grace of God am I."