Would love opinion...not totally vacation related...

[PSUWethr]

Ok..So I have almost convinced my parents to move down to STJ full time as they have been going down more and more. I pretty much can't stand living in Pennsylvania anymore...weather (it is 54 degrees today 0, rude people, etc. Anyway, We have been talking about moving to the islands for 14 years now and after a long conversation with mom and dad this weekend (over mango smoothies watching a STJ sunset) they gave me proposition....They would buy the Big Belly Deli for me & my hubby to run and get us started. We could then pay them back in the future. At this point I am totally psyched....I would love this. I fell in love with STJ in 1994 and know that if you move down there you have to work your butt off, it isn't the same to live there versus vacationing there, but I can also see the positives.

The problem is the hubby. I haven't talked to him yet as he has been out of town for work. I need your help on how can I convince him??? He is a pilot and has horrible hours and is away from home all the time. I was always nervous about him flying and have spent many nights awake over the last 10 years wondering how he is or what could happen...then, a month ago his coworker was killed in a plane crash for work leaving behind a wife and 6 year old. I have not really slept in 4 weeks. All I can think about is how disaster could strike at any moment leaving me alone and our 2 year old without a daddy. Moving down there and us working together would mean that we could actually spend time together as opposed to planning to spend just one night together in 3 weeks.

So, does anyone have any words of wisdom? How can I convince him that I need this for my mental and physical health? I know I can make this work and I have alot of natives excited in Coral Bay since I promised if I opened the Deli I would serve good coffee in the morning. They all promised to support us every day.

I guess I am wondering if I am totally nuts or if anyone else has done/considered this and what have you done. Would love the advice as you guys seem to know everything. Will actually see hubby tonight and am excited. EMma & I haven't seen him since last Tuesday before we went down to STJ. I think i need to get him to have a few beers before I talk!

Thanks guys, and I apologize cause know I realize this probably isn't the right board for this posting.

[Pia]

I have no word of advice for you but good luck - maybe you can show him this post I think you said it all in a beautiful touching way

Again good luck - from one Coral Bay resident to a future Coral Bay resident

Pia

[Xislandgirl]

Moving to STJ will be a lifetstyle change in a big way for him.
Being grounded, pun intended, and part of a tight knit community will be a 180 from the life that he is used to.
These are the questions that I would have answers to:
Is it time to step back and immerse your family into a slower lifestyle? Is it time to get back to being a family all day every day? What is the long term plan? Will you live there forever?
Have you ever run a business? How do you know that you can do it well? What is your business plan?
Are you ready for some of the frustrations that come from living and running a business on an island?
Can you afford to move and live and get a business up and running without damaging your savings?

If you can have concrete answers for him and yourself, than I think you will not need to convince him, the plan will do the work for you.

I envy the decision you have to make. I wish that I was in that position.

Best of luck in all you do, good coffee is always a bonus in Coral Bay

[djmom]

I think it sounds wonderful...but take it from someone who browbeat her husband into getting a dog he didn't want....don't do it unless he is totally on board. My husband has walked the dog probably no more than 10 times in 5 years and still hates the dog's guts (he does smell).

This will sound like some counseling here-sorry! I have a very stubborn husband, so this is how I see it. Everyone likes being part of a decision.

No matter how well it goes it will be a huge change with some very frustrating times I am sure, and you are going to want him to be totally motivated and not in a mode where he can blame you for forcing him into it.

I would also have to assume that he LOVES your parents. If not, this is a potential problem if you will be owing them money-and stuck on a small island with them.

I also know my husband would be highly annoyed if there had been a ton of planning going on "behind his back"...I would play that part down and let him be part of the decision- like let him express his ideas. Really you guys are the team, not you, your parents and him....Don't ambush him with this plan and then he looks like the bad guy if the answer is no. This is asking a lot of him, unless he has also been dreaming of moving.

Finally, I would like to put in a request to add a few girly sandwiches to the menu. Like some of those at the deli grotto. Thank you very much.

[djmom]

One last thing- where will your child go to school? If the public school is bad, can you afford private school? Can you if the business at the deli is slow? No matter what?

I am not a private school person, but it might be your only option in St. John...honestly I don't know enough about the schools there.

2 years old sounds young, but they grow up fast.

[Chickadee]

Nothing supports your opinion better than straight-up, heart-felt honesty. Bearing in mind that means being honest with each other AS WELL AS yourself.

Good luck and keep us posted. BTW, I support the request for "girly" sandwiches... I REALLY miss Pickles.

[msgcolleen]

Bravo to you and your parents for wanting to get out of the rat race and looking for a possible solution in paradise!
My hubby & I have always talked about how we could leave the big city, simplify our life and live on St. John. My boys, 15 & 11 will have nothing to do with that since they don't want to leave their friends, school and having everything at their fingertips!!
Since you have a 2 year old, the transition would be easier.
The only thing I would suggest is getting your husband to spend a week with you on the island alone and let him dream with you on how it could work.
I hope he "gets it!"
Good Luck~

[liamsaunt]

Does your husband love his job? Going from being a pilot to running a deli is a huge change. Would he be on board with that?

If you do go ahead, I third the request for more girly sandwiches. I would be happy to give you, oh, about 100 ideas!

[jayseadee]

We have been talking about moving to the islands for 14 years now
...

Is your hubby part of this "We"? Like others, if this is all new to him, I would play down the years of thinking and dreaming without him.

Good luck!

[Connie]

First thing I thought of was...life is too short!

It's a big change for sure and maybe you're so excited now, that all you can think about is doing it. Give it some time to really sink in and then go from there.

I myself would jump at that proposal since husband is retired and I myself want a change, but I still would have a problem with leaving my friends, my family and especially my daughter.

Good luck!

[John LMBZ06]

Be careful purchasing a business. I am a CPA that specializes in buying and selling businesses and I see so many mistakes being made. Two out of every three businesses sold are worth less two years later than they were when purchased. I even have 5 years in the deli business while going to college. I have noticed that business for sale and I would bet that it just does not make much if any money. I stopped by twice at lunch and notice just about nothing going on. One stop was in May and once in October. You cannot just look at January. You are going to need to put a business plan together to see if it would work and it would start with the deli giving you the last two or so years history and the tax returns to prove it. I had a similar idea as you, but my wife could just not be that remote and we do not even have kids which would make it easier. You really need to read more of the blogs about living on the island before doing something like this. I have spent countless hours doing so myself. I will eventually have a house on the island, but will keep one on the mainland as well.

[Pia]

A few more things..........obviously you must look at the P&L for Big Belly - can you survive on the income, what about a home (will you live with your parents), schooling - plan on private with an approx cost of $10,000 per child per year if here for the long term, can you live working 7 days a week, what to do during "slow season" with almost zero income for 2/3 months, can you survive without a mall (not as crazy as it sounds when all you have is kMart for your department store ) without a movie theater, football games, grocery stores with fruit and vegetables by the aisle, a Barnes and Noble, Bed Bath and Beyond for towels etc - more than just the "Martha Stewart" collection at kMart, Starbucks (I know but a decaf soy latte.............yummy ) a manicure that is only $15 in the mall vs $45 on island - again I know not a biggie but there are times when you just want to feel like a girl again and many, many, many more.

My husband can, but me, well lets just say I am Stateside probably 4-8 times per year and woo hoo when I reach 80 on the freeway (70 if a police officer is reading )

Lots of things to think about - some sound petty I know but you will be surprised at what you miss - but having said all that there is nowhere at this time in our life that we would rather be than right here in Coral Bay

Pia

oh, and let us know if you would like any help with your purchase should you decide to move ahead if you are not already working with an agent - we would love to help in anyway we can.

[PA Girl]

If you are serious about it, I would immediately get a job working at a coffee/sandwich shop at home.

If you do it at home while still in your comfort zone, you will get a sense of how this type of business is run. You can learn both the good and bad from the existing owner. (you don't need to tell them your plans)

If that idea isn't appealling to you for any reason, money, schedule, etc., that tells you all you need to know about the feasibility of doing it on STJ.

Business owners work many times harder than the employees and are (generally) the last to get paid. If you can't/don't want to do it at home, I wouldnt' try to do it on STJ.

Are you and hubby planning on working at the shop together? If so, you really need to get things ironned out ahead of time.

My husband and I work together, PM me and I can give you the good, bad and the ugly as well as why it works for us and how it could have gone terribly wrong.

Also, I was a business analyst for a bank prior to joining my husband's business. I saw my share of food-related businesses go into work-out/bankrupcy. I can give you lots of things to consider when evaluating the financial part of this decision.

[lowkey]

A few words of advice as I am right there with you on checking out of the rat race. I have been looking for YEARS for the right opportunity on St. John. Just finished building a house there in June. That process gives you a real appreciation for how things work in Busytown. I remember when the guy bought Big Belly Deli (love that special ham sandwich he makes) lived on a boat in Coral Bay - idyllic... for some. However the romantic thought of shabby elegance and the reality of life on any Caribbean island are two entirely different things.

First piece of advice - you must enter into it with EYES WIDE OPEN. (1) First suggested homework item, read Herman Wouk's "Don't stop the Carnival". While it is dated (written in 1965), the message still resonates and should be embraced. Things have not changed all that much... The vacation experience is vastly different from the reality of living and working there. It is vastly more expensive to live there than in the states. (2) another person brought up the need for a business plan. Excellent, excellent point. Have you looked at the numbers? For the rank and file life starts EARLY on St. John. Can you sell enough coffee? Be up at 4AM every morning (time to make the doughnuts). Tons of other thoughts on this - my wife and I have shared your dream for decades.. Our youngest is now a junor in high school... hopefully we'll see you there someday!Don't give up but be prepared!

The guy who dug the hole for my satelite dish pole probably summed it up best - "If you don't have it ($$$) when you get here, you won't find it here." Best of luck -

DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAM - but, be realistic too.. You must be prepared.

[PA Girl]

John's advice is so true.

What does the $60,000 buy?

Is there a long-term lease in place? If so, you need to calculate the leasehold value of that.

Is the buyer just basically buying the right to lease that space? If that is the case, is there better and possibly cheaper locations? If so, why buy this one?

If it includes the equipment, get that checked out. Commerical coolers, ovens and such are expensive to replace and expensive to fix. We just needed some sort of new element at our local pool and it was close to $5,000 for the repair.