Planning vacations with friends

[swoop]

Anybody plan a vacation with friends and then travel with them in the middle of them having major marital probs? Like to hear if it ruined your vacation...

[California Girl]

Not me, but I surely wouldn't want to be in the middle of that! Yikes! Is it too late to change your plans?

[swoop]

All deposits are in, and there is a third couple going..so can't change it. My goal is not to let it bother me..even if I have to rent my own car..

[Exit Zero]

Get your own car - for sure - might want to just buy them out - or at least one of them - If alcohol fueled the marital problems could get very ugly - maybe reconsider the whole invite.

[Pia]

100% RENT YOUR OWN CAR do not put yourself in the middle of this one - yikes - it's your vacation you need and deserve to be able to get in your own car and go wherever you want even if it is to get away.

I have been around couples with problems - no fun at all

Book your car ......... NOW (please )

Pia

[Xislandgirl]

At the very least get your own car. If you can swing it and they want out, buy them out.

My STJ trip is our one big vacation each year and I will not make the mistake of spending it with people that are not happy again.

[chicagoans]

Wow swoop - that's a tough one. I'm 100% with those who say to rent your own car. That was important for our group (3 families) even tho we're all happy together.

Assuming you're close to at least one half of the couple (or else you probably wouldn't be vacationing with them), are you comfortable having a heartfelt conversation before the trip? For example, letting them know that you care about them both, you won't be put in the middle or take sides, and that if things get tense then the couple needs to remove themselves to work it out. A villa would get small fast if there's marital tension. Not trying to be Dr. Phil here, but DH and I have been in this situation (luckily not on vacation) with another couple and it was hard being caught in the middle. We had to make it clear that we wouldn't listen to bad-mouthing about the other person.

[loria]

car advice is spot on. also, i second what chicagoans said --and if you can buy them out and they want to be bought out that works too--
sorry you find yourself in such an uncomfortable situation.

[aroobagirl]

Been there and have the scars. Planned a trip with husband's college friend and family. A few months prior to trip, they got divorced! Decide to bring another guy friend from college (who we all like). One month before trip he uninvites mutual friend to bring his little chippy.
We wanted no part of that since his kids and our were coming. Told him to find a condo and we would pay the balance of his share of the rental. He ignored his kids the entire time and we included them in our entertainment because their Dad was such a douche! Needless to say chippy is now gone and so is the friendship.

[stjhome]

Maybe the Magic of St. John will allow them to forget their problems while they are here.

Back up plan.... have your own car!!!!

[JJShaw]

Funny this should come up. We had another cpl in mind for splitting a Villa with us for this summer. She and I spent hrs looking for the perfect one while chatting online. We had also booked a cruise with them for this past sept. While on the cruise I was alittle surprised at how much she drank and how much they argued. Hubby and I decided..no no...wasnt going to STJ with all that going on...so..we looked at cheaper places to stay but had pretty much decided we wouldnt be able to make it this yr afterall. Now we have decided to go for Camping at Cinnamon and enjoy each other...and no arguing..Good Luck to you..and I 2nd the get your own car idea..

[samoka]

We have travelled with friends and always get our own car - even without the pressure of divorce I work hard and save aggressively for vacation - I am there to relax and do what I want when I want - having our own car allows that - now we travel with our adults children and their spouses and still we all get our own cars - it is nice to be able toexcape when necessary - good luck - samoka

[Boston Mike]

I have to agree with Chicagoans on this one. You need to have that little discussion prior to your trip. You never know, St John just might help this couple out.

Get your own car!

[swoop]

Own car it is...thanks all..

Being there helped the last time for them, but reality set in fast once at home.

[Connie]

We went with 12 people last May. Our best friends since we were kids, my daughter and their kids (in their 20's) girlfriends, boyfriends and my best friends sister and her husband.

It was tough, but the one thing that saved us was having 3 cars.

We're up early, so we could jump in the car and go where we wanted to go.

We had some arguments about money...i know, i know...shouldn't happen. BUT....when you go out to eat and the 20 somethings are drinking everything from beer to coconut drinks that cost 14.95 a piece and expecting the parents to pay, that's when it got a little iffy. My best friends turned into the beasts from hell.

I don't think I will go on vacation with them only because some things were said that really hurt my feelings. I don't want to feel like that on vacation.

Problems started the first night and the bad feelings lasted long after vacation was over.

I just wouldn't take the chance with your vacation.