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How STJ got me through this day 7 years ago...
How STJ got me through this day 7 years ago...
Apologies in advance for the long post....
Seven years and about 4 hours ago today I was arriving at my office in Penatgon/Crystal City. At the time I was working for a Defense contractor in a building that was right next to I-395 and across from the Pentagon. My father had died a few days earlier and I was just going into the office for the day to get things organized so that we could fly down for his memorial service in Birmingham the next day. I had left my mother at home and had just set my briefcase down on my desk when the building shook.
I had heard the news story about the first tower in NY and by the time I walked into the office I had heard that the second tower was struck. As the daughter of an intellgence officer I knew then it was some sort of attack.
Then my secretary came in screaming that the Pentagon had been hit and looking out my window I could see the smoke rising across the highway.
In any other circumstance I would have called my father to ask him what I should do. But for the first time since he died I really needed him and he was not there for me.
I called my husband and told him that we were being evacuated from the building.
I got in my car and worked my way down Army Navy drive past Pentagon City Mall, the underpass to the Pentagon and parallel to 395 (they had closed 395).
We were surrounded in black smoke and I watched as officers in uniform and civilians in suits made their way from the Pentagon, some covered in soot and others just dazed and crying as they walked.
There were no horns, just people in their cars with the windows rolled down listening to their radios. It was an eery silence. People were polite and cooperative and let you in front of them. We spoke to one another and compared information about what was going on through our windows. We offered rides to strangers and people walking.
All I could think about was getting home to my husband and my Mom and getting to St. John. Somehow the thoughts of this place settled my mind from panic and my heart from bursting out of my chest with the pain of it all.
If I closed my eyes I could remember the feeling of the sun on my face, the humid and warm breeze that brushed my skin, the feeling of the sand between my toes and my husbands hand in mine. Everytime I took a deep breath I imagined smelling the salty air instead of the smoke. I just focused on all that was good in the world and what I loved about STJ and I was able to focus on getting home and back to my family.
My memories of STJ and the memories I had created and had yet to create with family and friends got me through that horrific day and have every day since.
The following April I made it back to the place that I longed to be most in the world and finally felt some peace.
I spent the days between September 12 and that April trip planning our journey to STJ. It allowed me to set aside the pain of losing my father and the reminder that life is, and always be, very uncertain and that it is absolutely vital that we take advantage of every moment we have with those we love. The importance of hugs and saying good-bye and sharing quality time together in places like STJ.
It's so easy to get caught up in the petty details of life, but as my Dad used to say, "None of us get out of this alive."
So on this day of all days, I want to say that I am grateful for all of my friends and family-- including you, my "Forum Family" both current and past for helping to make each day better than the day before.
Thanks to all of you who post pictures and trip reports and help to provide advice and guidance to veteran STJ visitors and newbies alike. Thank you to those forumites who are no longer with us and those who have yet to join us. Thank you to Flip Flop for putting up with me and letting me drag her to STJ in the first place. Thank you to Anthony for creating this space for all of us to use.
But most importantly I want to thank the island of STJ for bringing us all together in so many ways and for getting me through some very, very dark days.
I think we should all be grateful that such a place exists and do everything we can to preserve and support it.
Thanks for letting me write all this down. This day is always very hard for me and being able to share like this every once in a while seems to help me put it a little futher behind me.
Peace.
Gromit
Seven years and about 4 hours ago today I was arriving at my office in Penatgon/Crystal City. At the time I was working for a Defense contractor in a building that was right next to I-395 and across from the Pentagon. My father had died a few days earlier and I was just going into the office for the day to get things organized so that we could fly down for his memorial service in Birmingham the next day. I had left my mother at home and had just set my briefcase down on my desk when the building shook.
I had heard the news story about the first tower in NY and by the time I walked into the office I had heard that the second tower was struck. As the daughter of an intellgence officer I knew then it was some sort of attack.
Then my secretary came in screaming that the Pentagon had been hit and looking out my window I could see the smoke rising across the highway.
In any other circumstance I would have called my father to ask him what I should do. But for the first time since he died I really needed him and he was not there for me.
I called my husband and told him that we were being evacuated from the building.
I got in my car and worked my way down Army Navy drive past Pentagon City Mall, the underpass to the Pentagon and parallel to 395 (they had closed 395).
We were surrounded in black smoke and I watched as officers in uniform and civilians in suits made their way from the Pentagon, some covered in soot and others just dazed and crying as they walked.
There were no horns, just people in their cars with the windows rolled down listening to their radios. It was an eery silence. People were polite and cooperative and let you in front of them. We spoke to one another and compared information about what was going on through our windows. We offered rides to strangers and people walking.
All I could think about was getting home to my husband and my Mom and getting to St. John. Somehow the thoughts of this place settled my mind from panic and my heart from bursting out of my chest with the pain of it all.
If I closed my eyes I could remember the feeling of the sun on my face, the humid and warm breeze that brushed my skin, the feeling of the sand between my toes and my husbands hand in mine. Everytime I took a deep breath I imagined smelling the salty air instead of the smoke. I just focused on all that was good in the world and what I loved about STJ and I was able to focus on getting home and back to my family.
My memories of STJ and the memories I had created and had yet to create with family and friends got me through that horrific day and have every day since.
The following April I made it back to the place that I longed to be most in the world and finally felt some peace.
I spent the days between September 12 and that April trip planning our journey to STJ. It allowed me to set aside the pain of losing my father and the reminder that life is, and always be, very uncertain and that it is absolutely vital that we take advantage of every moment we have with those we love. The importance of hugs and saying good-bye and sharing quality time together in places like STJ.
It's so easy to get caught up in the petty details of life, but as my Dad used to say, "None of us get out of this alive."
So on this day of all days, I want to say that I am grateful for all of my friends and family-- including you, my "Forum Family" both current and past for helping to make each day better than the day before.
Thanks to all of you who post pictures and trip reports and help to provide advice and guidance to veteran STJ visitors and newbies alike. Thank you to those forumites who are no longer with us and those who have yet to join us. Thank you to Flip Flop for putting up with me and letting me drag her to STJ in the first place. Thank you to Anthony for creating this space for all of us to use.
But most importantly I want to thank the island of STJ for bringing us all together in so many ways and for getting me through some very, very dark days.
I think we should all be grateful that such a place exists and do everything we can to preserve and support it.
Thanks for letting me write all this down. This day is always very hard for me and being able to share like this every once in a while seems to help me put it a little futher behind me.
Peace.
Gromit
Last edited by Gromit on Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:24 pm, edited 2 times in total.
*Another fine scatterbrained production
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cypressgirl
- Posts: 2178
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msgcolleen
- Posts: 1497
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Thanks for sharing such a moving story Gromit! I too feel a great spiritual peace and love when I am on STJ.
~God bless~
~God bless~
I've got 2 tickets to paradise~Pack your bags we'll leave tonight!
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/]
Thank you for sharing your story. You had posted some time back the quote from your father; "None of us get out of this alive", and I have thought about that a lot since (not sure why, it just really stuck with me). I couldn't remember who had posted it. It makes even more sense to me now that you have shared a bit of your fathers history. Thank you.
"The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea." -Isak Dinesen
Gromit – thank you for sharing a part of your life. I was fortunate to cross paths with you on our way to STJ and you and your hubby will always be close to our hearts. You sometimes meet remarkable people on your journey through life and I’m glad that I got to meet you. As Augie said above HUGS.
FlaGeorge
"Swim Against The Current - Even a Dead Fish Can Go With The Flow"
"Swim Against The Current - Even a Dead Fish Can Go With The Flow"
Seven years ago, I was one of the Army civilians walking around Crystal City after getting out of the Pentagon. My first trip to St. John was not until June 2002. Today, I am remebering a couple people I knew who lost their lives that day. My St. John memories, while fabulous, aren't really doing it for me.
Well said my dear friend.
For me this time of year is inexorably linked with some of the best memories of my life, for it was just days after the tragedy that I found out that I was pregnant with my now 6 year old.
I was absolutely grateful to be able to absorb myself in the beauty of bringing a new life into the world instead of despairing about how ugly and terrifying life can be.
7 years is a long time and I will forever grieve for those families who no longer have their loved ones with them. I remind myself constantly how precious and fleeting life is and I try to savor every, single solitary moment. Even the days when the baby is sick and exhausted and refuses to take a nap for hours before eventually passing out in a pile on his blanket on the floor!
Sweet smiles, warm sunshine, and lots of floating in a peaceful blue sea to each of you!
For me this time of year is inexorably linked with some of the best memories of my life, for it was just days after the tragedy that I found out that I was pregnant with my now 6 year old.
I was absolutely grateful to be able to absorb myself in the beauty of bringing a new life into the world instead of despairing about how ugly and terrifying life can be.
7 years is a long time and I will forever grieve for those families who no longer have their loved ones with them. I remind myself constantly how precious and fleeting life is and I try to savor every, single solitary moment. Even the days when the baby is sick and exhausted and refuses to take a nap for hours before eventually passing out in a pile on his blanket on the floor!
Sweet smiles, warm sunshine, and lots of floating in a peaceful blue sea to each of you!
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joanybelle
- Posts: 87
- Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2008 10:09 am
- Location: SC
Gromit, thank you for sharing your personal story. I don't think any of us can really describe the feelings we felt that day, but I can't imagine experiencing it first hand. I especially was moved by you sharing that you realized, for the first time, your father was not there for you. I know that empty feeling. September 11th used to be a special and fun day for our family. My father/best friend/hero's birthday was September 11th. He would have been 85 today. God, I miss him!
Wow Gromit!! That was really powerful.
911 was a very different day for those of us in Canada, who didn't know anyone who was directly affect by that tragic day. All we could do was watch it on TV, and then show compassion for those who got stuck here when all the airports closed. In sooooo many ways it was like it wasn't real, compare to those of you who lived it. Hats off to you!
Sydney
911 was a very different day for those of us in Canada, who didn't know anyone who was directly affect by that tragic day. All we could do was watch it on TV, and then show compassion for those who got stuck here when all the airports closed. In sooooo many ways it was like it wasn't real, compare to those of you who lived it. Hats off to you!
Sydney
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Tracy in WI
- Posts: 1624
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- Location: Wisconsin
Thank you for the beautiful post Gromit - peace and hugs with you today.
And Wolfhound - I am sure this is a very tough day for you - I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and all who experienced loss on 9/11. I think we all lost something, but a friend or family member is certainly much more than I can imagine.
Hugs and peace to you all.
And a great big thanks to the service men and women out there fighting for us today.
Tracy
And Wolfhound - I am sure this is a very tough day for you - I wanted you to know I am thinking of you and all who experienced loss on 9/11. I think we all lost something, but a friend or family member is certainly much more than I can imagine.
Hugs and peace to you all.
And a great big thanks to the service men and women out there fighting for us today.
Tracy