Does anybody have a horrible boss?

Connie · Post by **Connie** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:14 am

I think it's the end of the road for my 17 years working here. I've been lied too, verbally abused many times and I just hate my job now.

Although it will be a really tough, because we all know we have bills, I feel like I have no other choice. My husband, who has been retired for 7 years, keeps on telling me that I should just go, that things will work out.

I pride myself in being a very honest person, but when people continuously lie to me I feel like complete a*** for believing in them and then finding out later that they lied to my face.

I have a meeting with the boss today and if I don't get any answers to these lies, or he yells at me, I'll have to just leave and find something else.

Thanks, I'm just venting and feeling down.

jmq · Post by **jmq** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:28 am

One take on the topic with several suggested actions and additional links at the bottom of the article.

http://www.quintcareers.com/bad_bosses.html

How applicable any could be would depend on the size/structure of your company and other factors such as if it has gone on too long and gone too far by this point. Good luck. Few things suck worse than a really bad boss.

PA Girl · Post by **PA Girl** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 9:33 am

I completely understand your feelings.

At my prior job, my boss was simply awful. Example - he would fly into manic rages, one time putting a huge dent in the top of his own desk from repeatedly slamming the phone receiver over and over again. He was also verbally abusive and would scream and curse at his assistants.

bevm · Post by **bevm** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:49 pm

I know exactly how you feel Connie. It's a tough situation. Let us know what happens...

loria · Post by **loria** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:21 pm

Oh WOW that is an incredibly stressful situation--I wish i had some advice -- have you looked around for another position? (i am sure you have)--oh, ICK iCK ICK!

toes in the sand · Post by **toes in the sand** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:32 pm

I have worked for your boss! Seriously, I used to work for someone who I could not trust. Everyone knew he was a story telling BSer but most thought it was funny. I would just avoid him and do my job until I found he had lied to one of my customers. The problem was that I left him a way out when I straightened it out. Then his lies began involving me. I could only take it for about a year and found something better.
Right now my wife is in a similar situation. Her boss is un-trustworthy and outright deceitful. She did not take my advice two years ago to get out asap. She thought that this couldn't last long and her bosses lies and back-stabbing would catch up to her. She also made the same mistake I made and pointed out a lie thinking it was a mistake. Now she is feeling the full wrath of this "person". Currently she only has HR policies between her job and the street. I tell her everyday she comes home from work miserable that it is not worth the grey hairs, sleepless nights, frustration and anger. Leave now and we will survive until she finds something that she is happy doing. The trouble is that she used to be happy until this "person" took the position but she thinks that it will all end some day and life will be good again.

A word of advice, people like this do not meet their fate quick enough. They linger forever. Do not expect to outlive/outlast them. They are cockroaches and will be the last survivors of armageddon.

PA Girl · Post by **PA Girl** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:52 pm

toes in the sand wrote: A word of advice, people like this do not meet their fate quick enough. They linger forever. Do not expect to outlive/outlast them. They are cockroaches and will be the last survivors of armageddon.

I agree.

The only reason my awful boss is no longer at the company is the company was bought out and his position was eliminated. Of course, he got a sweet package to ease him into retirement.

I know when I would tell my friends/family the stories, the most common reaction was "go to HR" which sounds logical but these "horribles" seem to know just how far out of line they can get without getting fired.

SOonthebeach · Post by **SOonthebeach** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 2:54 pm

Life is too short! I am sure you will find something better. I truly believe that things work out as they should, even if change is hard- just have to take that leap for yourself. Let us know how it goes!

toes in the sand · Post by **toes in the sand** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 3:26 pm

[quote="PA Girl]I know when I would tell my friends/family the stories, the most common reaction was "go to HR" which sounds logical but these "horribles" seem to know just how far out of line they can get without getting fired.[/quote]

My wife has been told by a friend in HR that the HR department has told her boss more than once that "you have to be kidding, you cannot do that" in reference to reasons for terminating my wife. If only she would mess up and pull some of the really bad crap she does when someone else can verify it. We can only hope that the latest ongoing episode is being scrutinized by persons in authority who will take action to terminate a really bad situation. It is amazing to me that this can go on in such a large organization. In the meantime we keep our eyes open for new job opportunities and document each and everything that transpires at her work.

Connie, I know it is a tough decision but find some way out. Life IS too short to have to deal with people like that. Good Luck!

Lex · Post by **Lex** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:06 pm

No job is so good that I'm able to tolerate abuse in order to keep it. There have been a couple of jobs that I've left because I couldn't permit myself to continue to endure treatment from a supervisor. I have been fortunate that in the past when I've felt that I needed to leave a job, the economy was in good shape. I've always been able to have a new job in place before I've left. I tried to remember that I hadn't been conscripted into those jobs and should be a bit more careful about what I sign on for.

I very much enjoyed one particular situation. I hadn't let my boss know that I was looking. I got an offer, accepted it, and then had several days before I really needed to inform my boss that I was leaving. I bided my time, waiting for just the best possible time to pop the news. Sweet.

But even though I now say that no job is so good that I'll tolerate abuse in order to keep it, these difficult economic times do change the picture a bit. I know too many people who have lost jobs and really can't find new ones. I'd probably find that I'll tolerate more abuse than I like to think I will if it would mean losing our home and spending our retirement money. It's really bad out there.

Tracy in WI · Post by **Tracy in WI** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 4:06 pm

I have been there and feel for you. I also agree that if you can get out, do so. My self esteem was really damaged by a bullying boss. She had a target in our department and when that target would quit or move to a different department, she would find another person to target.

We made several trips to HR, many exit interviews implicated her as the reason for leaving, but nothing was ever done.

Several years after I left, I ran into her at a grocery store and it sent shivers down my spine - she had that kind of effect on me.

If you can afford it, it's not worth it. Thinking of you!

verjoy · Post by **verjoy** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:08 pm

Have you thought of starting your own business? Our son was downsized from the job he had since graduating college (17 yrs), but the company gave him some equipment in his termination package and they encouraged him to go freelance. That was a year and a half ago, he still does contract work for his old company and has his own client base also. I think some of his former colleagues (that didn't get cut) are a bit envious that he is his own boss and doing so well.

Creativity and hard work pays off.

PA Girl · Post by **PA Girl** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:12 pm

toes in the sand wrote:
My wife has been told by a friend in HR that the HR department has told her boss more than once that "you have to be kidding, you cannot do that" in reference to reasons for terminating my wife.

Yep, I had the same experience. When I told my boss that I was pregnant and would be taking 12 weeks leave under FMLA, he called up the president (of a publicly traded company!) and told her that he was going to have to "let me go." Mrs. President about had a heart attack, set him straight and immediately called me to assure me that I would not be fired and BTW, please report future bad behavior immediately. No doubt she was worried about a lawsuit if he actually did fire me. He basically stopped speaking to me after that, which was fine by me.

loria · Post by **loria** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 5:44 pm

i just hate all these stories--my worst boss was my doctoral thesis advisor--i won't go into details, but it took me the better part of ten years to get over this person (emotionally) --and i didn't finish my doctoral work as a result (i am to blame for that too--but this set it well in motion) several years ago She came to work at a place i was working and i was forced to interact with her--i just couldn't handle it and ended up quitting about 3 months after she took the job (she has since moved on after a split with the 'big' boss)--i tell you toxic people are just so not worth it--I treat my staff like a treasure--I am lucky to have people that wil go the extra mile when we need it and they know just how much they are appreciated--i HATE that weasels rise to the top.

California Girl · Post by **California Girl** » Wed Jan 26, 2011 7:48 pm

I've had many many horrible bosses, and I have always put up with it for only so long then i was OUT! Usually I'd line up another job before leaving the current one, though.

These type of people are perfect examples of the Peter Principle:

"In a mature bureaucracy people are promoted to their own level of incompetence."

Oh so true!!!

usvi-on-line

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Does anybody have a horrible boss?

Does anybody have a horrible boss?