usvi-on-line
VENT over RSVPS
VENT over RSVPS
Why don't people RSVP? We have invited 20 FAMILES over. I asked for # attending, so it was clearly not a "regrets only" thing.
How in hell can I get ready for a party that size without half the RSVPs?
I need to call them and put them on the spot, but I am too pissed to do it. I can't even be nice.
I guaran-damn-tee they are all coming. They are just SO freaking rude!
(I warned you that this was a vent
)
If I had the funds and time I would order like some silly souvenir mugs for the party (an Oktoberfest-like party) and just not give them to the people I didn't hear from. "Oh, Im sorry, you don't get a mug because I didn't know you were coming!"
How in hell can I get ready for a party that size without half the RSVPs?
I need to call them and put them on the spot, but I am too pissed to do it. I can't even be nice.
I guaran-damn-tee they are all coming. They are just SO freaking rude!
(I warned you that this was a vent
)If I had the funds and time I would order like some silly souvenir mugs for the party (an Oktoberfest-like party) and just not give them to the people I didn't hear from. "Oh, Im sorry, you don't get a mug because I didn't know you were coming!"
"Sponges grow in the ocean...I wonder how much deeper it would be if that didn't happen."
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SOonthebeach
- Posts: 1707
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chicagoans
- Posts: 1586
- Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 2:51 pm
- Location: IL
I completely understand your frustration -- that's just rude. I think I'd give them one more chance via email with an "RSVP by" deadline; then after that an email that says something like "I'm so sorry you won't be able to join us. I hope you have a great weekend."
Our company just held our annual user meeting and I was the primary organizer. We had several who registered, confirmed, re-confirmed and then still didn't show. That just frosts my tail because over 2 days the cost per person of meals and nice give-aways really adds up and of course you have to confirm all the numbers ahead of time. In this economy that makes a difference for a small company like mine. (Now I'm venting!)
And people who blow off PERSONAL events like parties and weddings are even worse. You wonder if they never throw parties themselves, otherwise they'd get it.
Our company just held our annual user meeting and I was the primary organizer. We had several who registered, confirmed, re-confirmed and then still didn't show. That just frosts my tail because over 2 days the cost per person of meals and nice give-aways really adds up and of course you have to confirm all the numbers ahead of time. In this economy that makes a difference for a small company like mine. (Now I'm venting!)
And people who blow off PERSONAL events like parties and weddings are even worse. You wonder if they never throw parties themselves, otherwise they'd get it.
Chicagoans, just looking at my list, the majority of these people have never invited me to anything and have had no parties that I know of. They just show up to everyone else's and afterwards talk about the "great party"...
I've about had it, to tell you the truth. But these are also neighborhood people and I really do try to take the high road. I don't want friction here. I especially don't want to have a big party and not invite...
I also don't expect people to return every invitation. It's not like I keep track.
BUT then there are some that never invite us over...this one couple the husband once ate about 1/4 of a huge beef tenderloin (he has eating issues).
I know he felt justified to eat it because it was "left over" and everyone else was done eating.
But as far as I am concerned it was OURS and I would like to have it leftover myself instead of him hogging it!
He went on and on about how great it was and how he had had 7 slices! (Wouldn't you be embarrassed about that!)
People are SO rude...
I've about had it, to tell you the truth. But these are also neighborhood people and I really do try to take the high road. I don't want friction here. I especially don't want to have a big party and not invite...
I also don't expect people to return every invitation. It's not like I keep track.
BUT then there are some that never invite us over...this one couple the husband once ate about 1/4 of a huge beef tenderloin (he has eating issues).
I know he felt justified to eat it because it was "left over" and everyone else was done eating.
But as far as I am concerned it was OURS and I would like to have it leftover myself instead of him hogging it!
He went on and on about how great it was and how he had had 7 slices! (Wouldn't you be embarrassed about that!)
People are SO rude...
"Sponges grow in the ocean...I wonder how much deeper it would be if that didn't happen."
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cypressgirl
- Posts: 2178
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- Location: houston
Post Subject
djmom,I agree 100%! When I open an invitation,I check my calendar and pick up the phone right away. I mean, c'mon, it takes maybe 2 minutes for the whole process! The people who don't RSVP are usually the kind who think their time is worth more than yours. Don't like "em, don't need 'em 
Friends, they go away then they re-appear...I believe there is Magic here.
We do our best to keep people that we don't like out of our home. We certainly wouldn't invite them to come over.
Except for weddings, I don't think we get written invitations. We'd always respond to a wedding invitation promptly. We like weddings and always try to attend. As far as other sorts of functions, we're pretty informal. People call us or we call them.
Except for weddings, I don't think we get written invitations. We'd always respond to a wedding invitation promptly. We like weddings and always try to attend. As far as other sorts of functions, we're pretty informal. People call us or we call them.
It's a different time frame.
People don't feel the need to RSVP. Most don't even know what it means. Seriously.
Manners and such don't exist anymore. Everyone has become very rude.
It's just the way it is now. Doorbells don't matter anymore, folks just show up at your back patio door and yell in.
It makes me want to move to Italy or somewhere like that.
People don't feel the need to RSVP. Most don't even know what it means. Seriously.
Manners and such don't exist anymore. Everyone has become very rude.
It's just the way it is now. Doorbells don't matter anymore, folks just show up at your back patio door and yell in.
It makes me want to move to Italy or somewhere like that.
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California Girl
I like the mugs idea!
I seem to remember you having the very same problem with the very same people last year. I don't think I'd call them. I think I'd plan for them, but I don't think I'd call and ask if they are coming. You know they are, and they are just effing rude.
Next year, only invite the people who RSVP'd this year. And if people get "testy" because they don't get an invitation, all you have to say is "Oh. Well, since you didn't RSVP the previous 2 years, I thought you wouldn't be interested in coming, so I took you off the list."
I seem to remember you having the very same problem with the very same people last year. I don't think I'd call them. I think I'd plan for them, but I don't think I'd call and ask if they are coming. You know they are, and they are just effing rude.
Next year, only invite the people who RSVP'd this year. And if people get "testy" because they don't get an invitation, all you have to say is "Oh. Well, since you didn't RSVP the previous 2 years, I thought you wouldn't be interested in coming, so I took you off the list."
The sad thing is that I consider all of these people friends, just not good friends. They are generally very fun to be around. Their kids are friends with my kids.
Just a little self centered, and that is why they aren't good friends.
But I wouldn't dream of leaving them out of a party this size...especially since it flows outside.
Call me a pushover, I don't know.
I do think I will go ahead and get mugs for next year soon. That will give me time to shop around.
Just a little self centered, and that is why they aren't good friends.
But I wouldn't dream of leaving them out of a party this size...especially since it flows outside.
Call me a pushover, I don't know.
I do think I will go ahead and get mugs for next year soon. That will give me time to shop around.
"Sponges grow in the ocean...I wonder how much deeper it would be if that didn't happen."
I think this is a great way to handle it.chicagoans wrote:I completely understand your frustration -- that's just rude. I think I'd give them one more chance via email with an "RSVP by" deadline; then after that an email that says something like "I'm so sorry you won't be able to join us. I hope you have a great weekend."
Our company just held our annual user meeting and I was the primary organizer. We had several who registered, confirmed, re-confirmed and then still didn't show. That just frosts my tail because over 2 days the cost per person of meals and nice give-aways really adds up and of course you have to confirm all the numbers ahead of time. In this economy that makes a difference for a small company like mine. (Now I'm venting!)
And people who blow off PERSONAL events like parties and weddings are even worse. You wonder if they never throw parties themselves, otherwise they'd get it.
Often I blow off the wedding and go to the reception. I don't think that is rude,but maybe.
XO
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stjohnjulie
- Posts: 570
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I'm with Terry on this one... I would bet money that most of these people don't even know what RSVP means. To be honest, I know what it 'means' but I don't know what it stands for. I have resorted to adding "Call me and let me know if you will be attending so I can make sure there is enough to eat!" Certainly longer than RSVP, but it's also pretty clear 
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Xislandgirl
- Posts: 4163
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- Location: Slightly left of center
As a wedding planner, this is my largest pet peeve.
When people do not respond, we are handed 2 times as much work. Trying to put together table arrangements, favor ordering, catering/venue numbers, etc. It really creates a HUGE issue.
You are provided a response card with a stamped envelope, there could not be less effort involved. It is rude, plain and simple.
Just a comment about not attending the wedding but going to the reception...unless it is incredibly inconvenient, (kid's schedules, work, etc) the couple invited you to be a part of their day, not just dinner. Just my opinion, but if the couple has a receiving line at the church, they will notice and they do.
When people do not respond, we are handed 2 times as much work. Trying to put together table arrangements, favor ordering, catering/venue numbers, etc. It really creates a HUGE issue.
You are provided a response card with a stamped envelope, there could not be less effort involved. It is rude, plain and simple.
Just a comment about not attending the wedding but going to the reception...unless it is incredibly inconvenient, (kid's schedules, work, etc) the couple invited you to be a part of their day, not just dinner. Just my opinion, but if the couple has a receiving line at the church, they will notice and they do.
it comes from the French for respond, s'il vous plaît (please)stjohnjulie wrote:I'm with Terry on this one... I would bet money that most of these people don't even know what RSVP means. To be honest, I know what it 'means' but I don't know what it stands for. I have resorted to adding "Call me and let me know if you will be attending so I can make sure there is enough to eat!" Certainly longer than RSVP, but it's also pretty clear