usvi-on-line
Saving For Vacation
It REALLY bugs us when people say "oh it must be nice to have the money to travel like you do" or similar. Got some stuff like this after the recent trip to London and Paris. Is it envy or ignorance (or both) that make people say stuff like that?
It has gotten to the point where we don't even mention much our upcoming or just completed travels to friends and business associates, although folks know us enough that they always seem to ask.
Please. We are far from "rich". The industry we both work in is not well paying.
Sorry we try so hard to be smart with our money and, how do you say in a nice way that its all about CHOICES?
How do you say to someone, well maybe you should try brown bagging your lunch like we do all the time?
Maybe you shouldnt have a house cleaning or lawn mowing service like we do not?
Maybe you shouldnt be running your credit card balances up and then complain about it?
Maybe you shouldnt be leasing a new car every 2 years?
Maybe you should try learning to cook so you dont do restaurants or takeout 6 out 7 days of the week (and that might help you lose some weight too)??
And, here is the thermonuclear option that nobody can ever use - maybe you shouldve stopped at X kids instead of having that next child, when the parenting gastank is clearly pretty much empty now and a good day in your household is when there are only 3 or 4 sh*tfits thrown and a C+ or B- average in school is acceptable??
Sorry for the rant, and we don't say these insensitive things when others say ignorant stuff about our travel, but we certainly can think it.
Plus, we've had some heavy stuff in recent years that make you appreciate the fragility of life that motivate us to do the things we need to do to afford travel, which is our only real splurge.
I have used a version of that i.e. "you know with what we went through recently, we learned that life is too short...", and it is a pretty effective shut down.
There - I feel better now!
It has gotten to the point where we don't even mention much our upcoming or just completed travels to friends and business associates, although folks know us enough that they always seem to ask.
Please. We are far from "rich". The industry we both work in is not well paying.
Sorry we try so hard to be smart with our money and, how do you say in a nice way that its all about CHOICES?
How do you say to someone, well maybe you should try brown bagging your lunch like we do all the time?
Maybe you shouldnt have a house cleaning or lawn mowing service like we do not?
Maybe you shouldnt be running your credit card balances up and then complain about it?
Maybe you shouldnt be leasing a new car every 2 years?
Maybe you should try learning to cook so you dont do restaurants or takeout 6 out 7 days of the week (and that might help you lose some weight too)??
And, here is the thermonuclear option that nobody can ever use - maybe you shouldve stopped at X kids instead of having that next child, when the parenting gastank is clearly pretty much empty now and a good day in your household is when there are only 3 or 4 sh*tfits thrown and a C+ or B- average in school is acceptable??
Sorry for the rant, and we don't say these insensitive things when others say ignorant stuff about our travel, but we certainly can think it.
Plus, we've had some heavy stuff in recent years that make you appreciate the fragility of life that motivate us to do the things we need to do to afford travel, which is our only real splurge.
I have used a version of that i.e. "you know with what we went through recently, we learned that life is too short...", and it is a pretty effective shut down.
There - I feel better now!
When we come to place where the sea and the sky collide
Throw me over the edge and let my spirit glide
Throw me over the edge and let my spirit glide
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GidgetPicklebrain
- Posts: 170
- Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:54 am
- Location: Frederick, MD
[quote="Xislandgirl"]I have a 401K and a pension, I am saving for retirement, quote]
So then you ARE setting aside funds for your future as well as enjoying travel now.
But there are people out there spending every red cent they make on short term gratification with no thought to the future at all. One of my coworkers lives this way. She says she "deserves it" and indulges herself whether she has the funds for it or not. She's gone bankrupt once already and is about to go through it a second time. She has no family to bail her out. She will be in for a rude awakening when she stops working and has only Social Security to live on after living an indulgent lifestyle her entire working life. My sibling is living life this way as well.
But you are right, we are all different. I'm letting my personal resentment of my entire family spending blindly and expecting me to restrict my own leisure activities in order to clean up their mess taint my comments.
Anyways, I was not trying to pass judgement or start an argument about lifestyle choices. I was just trying to say that I HAD found a way to save for vacations without jeopardizing my retirement savings to do so. And it was great while it lasted.
I'd love to travel frequently, or even have an annual vacation. I have a long list of new places I want to explore, and places I want to return to as well (St. John is top of the return list). But I refuse to do to my children what my family has done to me.
I'll be living vicariously through others' trip reports for some years to come thanks to their shortsightedness and overindulgence (and my sense of responsibility and family obligation).
So then you ARE setting aside funds for your future as well as enjoying travel now.
But there are people out there spending every red cent they make on short term gratification with no thought to the future at all. One of my coworkers lives this way. She says she "deserves it" and indulges herself whether she has the funds for it or not. She's gone bankrupt once already and is about to go through it a second time. She has no family to bail her out. She will be in for a rude awakening when she stops working and has only Social Security to live on after living an indulgent lifestyle her entire working life. My sibling is living life this way as well.
But you are right, we are all different. I'm letting my personal resentment of my entire family spending blindly and expecting me to restrict my own leisure activities in order to clean up their mess taint my comments.
Anyways, I was not trying to pass judgement or start an argument about lifestyle choices. I was just trying to say that I HAD found a way to save for vacations without jeopardizing my retirement savings to do so. And it was great while it lasted.
I'd love to travel frequently, or even have an annual vacation. I have a long list of new places I want to explore, and places I want to return to as well (St. John is top of the return list). But I refuse to do to my children what my family has done to me.
I'll be living vicariously through others' trip reports for some years to come thanks to their shortsightedness and overindulgence (and my sense of responsibility and family obligation).
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Confucius
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Jo Ann - VA
- Posts: 756
- Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 11:56 am
- Location: Virginia
AMEN to both jmq and Gidget. I totally agree with both of you.
jmq - I hear the same thing from our friends, coworkers and family. My response has turned into the same thing I told my son when he was growing up "it's all about the choices we make in life". We also do without some things to be able to travel a little and be financially stable.
Gidget - so sorry about what is going on in your family. We met recently with a financial advisor and discussed our retirement. We are 49 and 51. I don't want to happen to our son what has happened to you and so many others. It appears that we will be fine in retirement our years but there is always a question doubt for me as to if we will have enough money. And I always worry about job loss, health loss etc. But you can only prepare for so much.
You are a good daughter to do what you are doing.
jmq - I hear the same thing from our friends, coworkers and family. My response has turned into the same thing I told my son when he was growing up "it's all about the choices we make in life". We also do without some things to be able to travel a little and be financially stable.
Gidget - so sorry about what is going on in your family. We met recently with a financial advisor and discussed our retirement. We are 49 and 51. I don't want to happen to our son what has happened to you and so many others. It appears that we will be fine in retirement our years but there is always a question doubt for me as to if we will have enough money. And I always worry about job loss, health loss etc. But you can only prepare for so much.
You are a good daughter to do what you are doing.
Jo Ann
Always planning the next vacation...
Always planning the next vacation...
I love (and totally agree with) some of the replies (jmq). You know what, life is short. Keep the balance but don't deny yourself a well earned & deserved vacation. There are so many choices about where the money comes from. Your savings, christmas club $$, maybe even tag sale $$, cut the grocery bill or the sale of some stock or something (no money being made there anyway). Did you know that you if you have one, you can borrower from your 401k and pay yourself back with interest. Hey, or put it on your credit card. Vacation = priceless. In my mind, whatever it takes. Make it happen - the memories are worth it and there's no guarantee that you'll have a tomorrow. Ali~
STJ - I "get it"
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GidgetPicklebrain
- Posts: 170
- Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 7:54 am
- Location: Frederick, MD
A lot of 401K plans restrict the purpose of the loan -home purchase, education, medical expenses, etc. I doubt vacation would be one of the acceptable reasons.
Plus, you must repay it within a 5 year period. If you leave (or lose) your job while the loan is outstanding you will need to close the account with yor employer and roll it over into a new plan somewhere else. At that time the loan must be paid in full. Should you be unable to pay it back for any reason you pay income tax plus a 10% penalty on your taxes.
In addition, the money you borrow is not earning anything once it is withdrawn. The little bit of interest you pay on it when you repay the loan is unlikely to make up for the lost earnings potential.
Most finacnial planners will tell you that borrowing from your 401K should be considered as a last resort to finance whatever it is you are trying to pay for. If you can't afford a vacation without borrowing from your 401K, then you really can't afford the vacation.
Plus, you must repay it within a 5 year period. If you leave (or lose) your job while the loan is outstanding you will need to close the account with yor employer and roll it over into a new plan somewhere else. At that time the loan must be paid in full. Should you be unable to pay it back for any reason you pay income tax plus a 10% penalty on your taxes.
In addition, the money you borrow is not earning anything once it is withdrawn. The little bit of interest you pay on it when you repay the loan is unlikely to make up for the lost earnings potential.
Most finacnial planners will tell you that borrowing from your 401K should be considered as a last resort to finance whatever it is you are trying to pay for. If you can't afford a vacation without borrowing from your 401K, then you really can't afford the vacation.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. - Confucius
Yeah, the same old thing about people saying "must be nice" that you can go here and there.
Well, my husband is gone most weeks during the week, so he gets lots of FF miles and hotel points.
But if he didn't, vacation would still be way up there on the list.
I don't spend $400 on purses or lots of money on clothes and shoes. I don't get massages or manicures unless I have a gift certificate. I can't think of the last time our whole family was in a restaurant together OTHER than vacation. We don't go blow $50 a couple of times a month at the movies. Starbucks? Are you kidding?
So while we don't have a formal "plan" for vacation, vacation IS the plan. We spend less so we can do more.
Well, my husband is gone most weeks during the week, so he gets lots of FF miles and hotel points.
But if he didn't, vacation would still be way up there on the list.
I don't spend $400 on purses or lots of money on clothes and shoes. I don't get massages or manicures unless I have a gift certificate. I can't think of the last time our whole family was in a restaurant together OTHER than vacation. We don't go blow $50 a couple of times a month at the movies. Starbucks? Are you kidding?
So while we don't have a formal "plan" for vacation, vacation IS the plan. We spend less so we can do more.
"Sponges grow in the ocean...I wonder how much deeper it would be if that didn't happen."
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sapphirecat
- Posts: 246
- Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2007 2:43 pm
- Location: Turtle Bay, NYC
Did you guys see the article in the NY Times about the Shopper's Diet?
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/22/fashi ... f=homepage
I didn't even know about this, yet I've been on a self-conceived shopping diet for a couple of months. I have enough clothing to last me quite a while (and that does include bathing suits!)
Even though the article starts out with having 6 pieces of clothing to mix and match for a month, that's not the object of the Shopper's Diet. That was just a challenge for the article.
I'm sure by just saying NO to new stuff, that I don't even need, I already saved enough to cover a few days in STT. It's almost like getting free vacation
Cat
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/22/fashi ... f=homepage
I didn't even know about this, yet I've been on a self-conceived shopping diet for a couple of months. I have enough clothing to last me quite a while (and that does include bathing suits!)
Even though the article starts out with having 6 pieces of clothing to mix and match for a month, that's not the object of the Shopper's Diet. That was just a challenge for the article.
I'm sure by just saying NO to new stuff, that I don't even need, I already saved enough to cover a few days in STT. It's almost like getting free vacation
Cat
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Jo Ann - VA
- Posts: 756
- Joined: Sat Nov 11, 2006 11:56 am
- Location: Virginia