What don't you like?

[JT]

[quote="Boston Mike"]So this is why the chicken crossed the road. To crap on Ruth's steps. Ah yes, a very old question has just been answered.

OK, Mike, I'm busting here! Thanks for a great start to Saturday morning.

[Captain John]

In my experience, many native Virgin Islanders are extremely reserved. This comes off as aloof or rude to many people.

When I joined the choir at the Catholic church on STJ it took 3 practices to get some women to even give me more than a nod. They were not rude or snobbish, they were very reserved and private and someone new needed to be "checked out" before they let me "in".

I know that my experience as a tourist is different, after living there, I still know people and always feel like people are friendly, but that is because we have a connection.

I am not directing this at anyone, since I don't know most of you, and I am only speaking for myself, but.... While living on island I encountered tourists that were fake polite. Just pretended to be polite because someone told them to. A fake smile or strainded voice can really put someone off. Just because you say the words, doesn't mean that you mean them and it comes across loud and clear to the person that you are speaking to.

I'm with Xislandgirl on this one, especially the "fake polite" comment, people find it condescending.

[California Girl]

Personally, I can't remember one single person, on any of the islands I've been priveleged to vist, ever being rude or snobby to me.

But then again, I treat them the way I treat everyone, respectfully and with genuine interest and friendship in mind.

[JT]

The worst rudeness I've seen has been from pushy, impatient tourists. The one other thing that has occasionally turned me off is how full of themselves some stateside transplants can be regarding their "local" status. Generally, I get along great with the St. Johnian West Indians.

[FinsUp]

I have been reading this post trying to come up with what I don't like about St. John and still nothing!!! I was hoping for some ideas of what I shouldn't like As a tourist that has travelled to many carribean islands, I can think of lots of things I dislike about other islands I will say the first time travelling to St. John, we rented a vehicle on STT and I did hate the ride to Red Hook..having never been to either STJ or STT, I thought, if this is what traffic is like on STJ, we'll never leave the villa.
I am thrilled that as a family, we get it. I hesitate to recommend it to others like mentioned in some earlier posts because they don't seem like people that "would get it".

[Wolfhound]

I don't like it when we can't park at Gibney/Oppenheimer. But then we just go someplace else.

[Pianogrl]

Liamsaunt, great idea...hadn't seen the locking bag before, but I'm guessing it works like a bicycle lock. Like you said, it wouldn't be full-proof, but it would give me a lot more peace of mind while I'm out snorkeling.

54b: Liamsaunt has a great idea. Another option for you is Vacation Vault. We purchased 2 of these & really love them...have even keep a few things in them in one villa we stayed in that did not have a safe. Steel chord lock with 3 number combination lock. They run around $29.95 I think.
www.vacationvault.com

[Robin in NC]

I've never encountered any particularly rude behavior from any of the native Virgin Islanders I've met. On the other hand, none has been particularly friendly, either. I'm fine with that. I treat them with courtesy and respect, and usually receive the same in return. I'm on vacation, I'll be there a week and then gone. I don't expect them to treat me like a lifelong friend.

I do take issue with the "fake polite" comments, though. From before I ever first set foot on STJ, I was told repeatedly that saying "Good morning, good afternoon" was mandatory in the STJ culture. I've always complied, but I can't see that it's made a bit of difference. "Polite" is by definition fake; if you really know someone, you're not polite but warm. Until then, you're polite. Xislandgirl says they are being "reserved" rather than aloof or rude. She knows better than we do. But you can't blame us if we can't tell the difference.

[Rick&Leah]

I started this chat line about St Johnian "reserve," and I'm glad we got a healthy debate going because I'm hoping that the USVI tourist authority or other opinion leaders are lurking and maybe even taking note.
Just to be clear, we love the USVI, and indeed decades ago my wife worked for the DC firm that represented the administration of the first elected governor, Dr. Melvin Evans. We remember him as a warm and hospitable reformer genuinely concerned for the Territory and people. We're thus saddened that the Islands fell so low that, like New Orleans, the US Justice Department had to take over because the police were so corrupt. Similarly, can you think of another place in the US where the official tourist guides have to offer detailed instructions on how to approach the locals to try to elicit a civil response?

Having lived overseas for a decade, the thing that always struck us upon our return was the genuine warmth and friendiness of "real" Americans, and it would sure be nice to see it more frequently on STJ.

If you want to see the real love on STJ, try the Coral Bay Moravian congregation. They are the genuine article.

[mindehankins]

I too come from an area that is supposedly known for it's "rudeness" - NYC so don't expect or want alot of kow-towing when go places. Just plain niceness is all we ask.

The only other island we have found to be less than friendly was Grenada,that island is one can truly say will never go back to. Found STT people to be alot friendlier & politer than STJ, which is a little surprising considering the volume of people there and all the cruise ship people they have to deal with. Am not talking about the jewelry store etc owners either. Just the plain STT folks on the streets, helping us w/our map to find places,giving up seats on benches to sit down,holding doors and the few shopkeepers that we dealt with who were very helpful even when didn't buy anything. All returned our greeting w/smiles & small talk. Not so on STJ, sorry STJ lovers.

Must have gotten the wrong impression from here about always greeting people w/ the right words & a smile & it would be returned. Not going to name stores or restaurants etc. not here to do so.
But we visited the Lutheran church in Cruz Bay and the Pastor & two other ladies were there, none of whom greeted or even acknowledged us when we said good morning. I am a Deacon in our Lutheran church and anyone comes into our church and they will be greeted warmly & welcomed to sit & pray or ask any questions etc. We sat for a little bit, said a prayer and read the Bible, then left. Still w/o being greeted, found this to be very sad & said a prayer for them.

Maybe everyone was having a bad week or something? But it was disappointing. Always look forward to talking to locals about their hometown & their lives there, am a talker(ask berlingirl who met me !ha)& interested in all people everywhere.

Oh well, maybe when we try again in a few yrs, will be diff.

We saw plenty of rude behaviour despite truly kind and polite greetings and patience. We met some wonderful people, as well. Our business will go to JUST those places with polite and kind people. STJ is my nivana. Some rude people work there, but our paths never cross a second time.
Miss Vies, the Tourist Trap, Candi's Ribs, St. John Spice, Courtesy Car Rental all treated us like human beings. We'll be back there again and again.

[Exit Zero]

I Similarly, can you think of another place in the US where the official tourist guides have to offer detailed instructions on how to approach the locals to try to elicit a civil response?

Since the 'locals' already know how to respond civilly to people, visitors or residents, who show they have the upbringing and manners that elicits said civility it stands to reason that the tourist guides suggest a friendlier approach then many travelers are used to - instead of initial comments like "show me that xxx", "How much is that?"," Hey", "that isn't how we do it back in the states" "do you live here", "what language are they speaking?" ---------- when a simple "Good Morning, How are you today?" would show that you were raised in a polite and respectful home and likely elicit a similar friendly response.

[Xislandgirl]

I do take issue with the "fake polite" comments, though. From before I ever first set foot on STJ, I was told repeatedly that saying "Good morning, good afternoon" was mandatory in the STJ culture. I've always complied, but I can't see that it's made a bit of difference. "Polite" is by definition fake; if you really know someone, you're not polite but warm. Until then, you're polite. Xislandgirl says they are being "reserved" rather than aloof or rude. She knows better than we do. But you can't blame us if we can't tell the difference.

I am not sure why you would take issue with that comment.
There are a great many people that will travel to a vacation destination and think that they are better than those that live there. They will act as if there vacation dollars will make or break the destination.
I have heard a woman walk into an establishment and say to her husband, "don't forget to say Good Morning, they told me we have to"
That is fake. If you truly do not want to be polite, then don't.
I say Good Morning at home and on vacation because I was raised to be polite to everyone, not because a tour guide or message board told me to.

In my opinion, there is a big difference between being a tourist and being a traveler. I think that a great many people here are travelers. Those that visit different places of the world to experience life in a different place.
I suspect those that don't get it, and that may get treated poorly, are tourists. People looking to get all the comforts of home in a different local. They most likely encounter similar behaviour no matter where they vacation.

[tipsy]

Well...Tipsy I will have to say you are one of the nicest people I've ever met on island!! You are a wonderfully softspoken kind lady!!! I also agree that there are a lot of people who can't be bothered to say hey or even acknowledge your existence. We've got perhaps 10 or so trips under our belts in the last decade. Yes, agree also STT locals can be nicer than lots of STJ locals. Ladies at the grocery there at the one Big store can be openly rude at times. Lots of nice people too though we've encountered in our travels. No secret that the locals and I don't mean the US locals don't care about giving tourist the warm and fuzzies. We are visitors and lots of people don't care if they ever see us again. After a number of trips I realized I need to speak up to be recognized and treated well. I am now a lot more forward and outspoken then I am here at home. They seem to respect that and I noticed a change in attitude also. I Love Slim and his lady too.

Speaking of the French. Personally love Paris. I love the French people. I've been a couple of times in the last few years. Only two instances of rudeness in both trips. Both cab drivers. One from the Mid East, the other from Africa. Both horribly rude. Almost got out and walked once. I send clients to Paris all the time. They come back amazed at the great experience they end up having. I tell them, be nice to people and the people will be nice to you. Same as the USVI...greeting the minute you enter a store or business. Boujour or Good day goes a long way. Same as STJ, but islanders are a tougher crowd it seems. In Paris...first I try to speak bad French,then English and finally sometimes we communicate in German. Yes, they even like Germans in Paris.

Anyway, it's obvious lots of us have different experiences everywhere.

Thank you so much, I figured I talked all of your ears off !! :-..
Wow, you've been to some great places !! I'll never get to Europe, flying to STT was about my limit. Am not a happy flyer. So stick to 4 hrs or less if can.

Been looking at St Croix, can get some nice places there on VRBO for same $ as STJ. That's for a future trip. We're sitting here waiting to see what's going to happen with the horrible oil spill and how far it might come.Breaks my heart to see the animals & think about what is happening to all those people whose livlyhood depends on the water.

Really want to get to FL Keys next yr. I never stop looking at places to go and putting together folders.

PS. you never sent your email so can send you the pics I took of all of you. PM me and will get them off to you.
Deb

[tipsy]

I too come from an area that is supposedly known for it's "rudeness" - NYC so don't expect or want alot of kow-towing when go places. Just plain niceness is all we ask.

The only other island we have found to be less than friendly was Grenada,that island is one can truly say will never go back to. Found STT people to be alot friendlier & politer than STJ, which is a little surprising considering the volume of people there and all the cruise ship people they have to deal with. Am not talking about the jewelry store etc owners either. Just the plain STT folks on the streets, helping us w/our map to find places,giving up seats on benches to sit down,holding doors and the few shopkeepers that we dealt with who were very helpful even when didn't buy anything. All returned our greeting w/smiles & small talk. Not so on STJ, sorry STJ lovers.

Must have gotten the wrong impression from here about always greeting people w/ the right words & a smile & it would be returned. Not going to name stores or restaurants etc. not here to do so.
But we visited the Lutheran church in Cruz Bay and the Pastor & two other ladies were there, none of whom greeted or even acknowledged us when we said good morning. I am a Deacon in our Lutheran church and anyone comes into our church and they will be greeted warmly & welcomed to sit & pray or ask any questions etc. We sat for a little bit, said a prayer and read the Bible, then left. Still w/o being greeted, found this to be very sad & said a prayer for them.

Maybe everyone was having a bad week or something? But it was disappointing. Always look forward to talking to locals about their hometown & their lives there, am a talker(ask berlingirl who met me !ha)& interested in all people everywhere.

Oh well, maybe when we try again in a few yrs, will be diff.

We saw plenty of rude behaviour despite truly kind and polite greetings and patience. We met some wonderful people, as well. Our business will go to JUST those places with polite and kind people. STJ is my nivana. Some rude people work there, but our paths never cross a second time.
Miss Vies, the Tourist Trap, Candi's Ribs, St. John Spice, Courtesy Car Rental all treated us like human beings. We'll be back there again and again.

Hi Minde, that is the way it happened w/us. There were a few places that the people were so nice,but on the whole most people who worked in any of the tourist venues were brisk & cool. Which was fine w/us,they're loss not mine.
But people here shouldn't get on peoples cases if we took to heart the advice given here and expected a little teeny bit better responses than we got. Or talk about being "fake polite" or condenscending.
Ms Vies' gets hands down for the friendliest place, there was also a lady (stateside transplant) who ran a consignment shop in Coral Bay(for local STJ people to sell their wares) who was really warm and friendly. Spent alot there for that reason. And the lady who was in the Bordeaux Mt gift shop couldn't have been friendlier.
Yes the Moravian church was an amazing experience and wonderful people, what a beautiful feeling just being in the church. so were 2 churches over on STT (Lutheran & Catholic).
So we did encounter good people but not like it was portrayed here, that is what I think is what is trying to be conveyed here.

But like a previous poster said,only visiting and if don't like the store/rest. can always go to another one.Not looking to become a member of their family.

How is the new house coming along? Bet you and Blaine are still having fun setting up and making plans. Are you still going camping this summer or have gone?
Be well.
Deb

[mindehankins]

Hiya Deb!
I think it's important to get that word out to the newbies, without sounding like that's all we comment on, LOL. I still loved it enough to go back again and again. We're just staying with Vie and Jasmine

We're well. Our music festival was last weekend. The weather was beautiful. As I get more and more involved, it gets to be more of a stressful week for me. I still enjoy it. It's sort of like my "service" to a community I really care about.

We just about finished our basement rec room. That was ALOT of work! We like it though, and we learned alot. Blaine learned that you have to wipe grout off of tile RIGHT AWAY, not after a meal LOL. I have an arm I can barely move still, about a month after that ordeal. It looked like plain cement. I wanted to kill him. He has a bad back so couldn't spend much time on his hands and knees scrubbing the cement off so the tiles showed through. UGH. Lesson learned.

Are you back to work? Finished with school?