Study: "experiences" better than "stuff"

Gromit · Post by **Gromit** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 10:59 am

Interesting that the subject of this interview used a "vacation in the Caribbean" as an example of the notion that "experiences" bring us more joy over a longer period of time than buying "stuff."

I think most of us on this forum will read this and totally agree!

http://www.physorg.com/news189277732.html

PA Girl · Post by **PA Girl** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:41 pm

I absolutely agree!

My parents were the type that travelled a lot and choose experiences over material goods. Thankfully, I married someone who shares the same idea. I have friends whose spouses think a vacation is a waste of money, money that is better spent on a bigger truck, another 4 wheeler or whatever.

Gromit · Post by **Gromit** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 12:46 pm

It kills me to see people "saving up" their vacation time or socking away every single penny for when they retire.

Sure you have to keep a balance and be financially responsible but I maintain that when I am on my deathbed I am not going to give jack sh!t how much money I have in my bank account or how nice my car is but I am going to have happy memories of being on STJ with my friends and my family.

I've known many people over my lifetime who were "savers" and ended up dying relatively early in life so they never got to enjoy everything they saved. What kind of life is that? It's all about balance!!

Greenskeeper · Post by **Greenskeeper** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:26 pm

Different strokes for different folks. Some people would be stressed knowing they spent X on vacation and having a nervous breakdown over the thought of not having enough later in life. I only hope for them they do get to enjoy their golden years.

What I don't understand is people who live a miserable day to day existence so they can go on vacation. I am puzzled when people say how tortured they are when they have to go back home after their trips. I understand the post vacation blues but I am talking about the extremes some people seem to have talking about crying jags and not even being able to look at photos.

Gromit · Post by **Gromit** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:37 pm

Greens-- that's an interesting point. I imagine that some folks may feel trapped by a variety of circumstances in their everyday lives from which they feel they cannot escape. For some that may be family obligations, poor health - I'm sure there are a million reasons.

I'm guessing you're saying that it's important to live your everyday life as if you are on vacation or do what makes you happy all the time instead of just waiting or wishing for vacation?

If that's the case then I agree that's a pretty good suggestion!

Greenskeeper · Post by **Greenskeeper** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:46 pm

I guess that is what I'm saying- it's all about balance. I look forward to renewing and recharging on vacation and then look forward to coming home. I'm not a "stuff" person either though. I love the environment around me at home so that is what makes me look forward being there. We travel in the winter to get away from the dreariness and cold so it gives us that glimpse of hope for summer.

Thanks! Great article.

PA Girl · Post by **PA Girl** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 1:58 pm

Greenskeeper wrote: We travel in the winter to get away from the dreariness and cold so it gives us that glimpse of hope for summer.

Us too. While I would prefer to go in the summer, my husband needs to get away from the winter. So much so, "our" week was selected to strike the perfect balance between the holiday season and spring. He doesn't like to go too early and have too much winter when we return. We switched from Jan to Feb.

Gromit · Post by **Gromit** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:02 pm

PA Girl-- I feel ya on the timing. We used to go exclusively in the Spring and early Summer and always came back to warm weather.

For the last few years we've been going down in December for my birthday. And while I like to be somewhere warm when it isn't at home, re-entry is a bitch!

samoka · Post by **samoka** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:29 pm

It is truly a delicate balance but worth the work it takes - I love my job and really look forward to my vacations - as a teacher I have a lot of built in vacation time and with careful planning we manage to sneak off to someplace warm for the last week in February. The timing is perfect we have something to look forward to al winter and when we get back spring is right around the corner

flip-flop · Post by **flip-flop** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 2:36 pm

I am all about balance.

My inner worry freak (grew up with very meager means and started working/supporting myself around 15 - other than household expenses) doesn't let me completely throw caution to the wind.

Kids college (tuition at least) is paid off (thanks to my mother in law). We max out the 401K and have other investments. Living in northern Virginia, my house is a big part of my long term retirement plan (as in SELL it, cash out and move to the islands at least part time), and we have a 20 year mortgage not a 30. Little things to free up $$ a little bit sooner.

That said, whenever/however possible I try to get to my little slice of heaven because you just can't take it with you. Life is for the living. I think it helps that my husband definitely gets this concept as sadly, his father passed away very shortly after "retiring" around 60, after a lifetime of working like a madman.

I will say the older I get, the more picky I get about what "stuff" I allow into my space and the more self-aware I am about wants vs. needs when it comes to material things. Other than flip-flops.

soxfan22 · Post by **soxfan22** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:48 pm

Gromit wrote:Interesting that the subject of this interview used a "vacation in the Caribbean" as an example of the notion that "experiences" bring us more joy over a longer period of time than buying "stuff."

I think most of us on this forum will read this and totally agree!

http://www.physorg.com/news189277732.html

Completely agree. We have our share of "stuff", but its the vacations the kids will remember.

My pops died when I was 16. We traveled (not in airplanes, however)...I remember the vacations and the time spent more than anything - but because of what happened to him, I know it can all be over with tomorrow. I have no intention of being buried with it! (And besides, I have life insurance).

LovetoTravel · Post by **LovetoTravel** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:53 pm

AMEN to everything all of you have said!!! I WISH my husband felt the same. HE DOES NOT!!! I LOVE TO TRAVEL, hence my sign on name!!! LOL!!! I have been traveling with my sister ALOT the past 2 years because my husband believes in nothing but WORK!!! He is going with me in 4 days to St. John, which is a miracle in itself!! I guess he feels he must since that IS where we got married!! LOL!!!

I envy you ladies whose husband's have the same feeling and passions you do about St. John and traveling!!!

vi lover · Post by **vi lover** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 3:58 pm

I was just talking this very same subject with our company's CFO. Amazingly - he's in the same place as am I (and so many of you!). When you are younger, "stuff" is very important. As you mature, memories become the "stuff" of choice. I often tell my friends that when I hit 40, I began choosing "experiences over assets". Like many have said, we max out 401(k) and have monthly savings plans set aside, but DW drives a 10 year old van and I'm actually making money on my company's car allowance (I bought a Camry and the allowance is for a luxury car..).

Sox - I love your comment about the life insurance! I upped my amount this year and that really takes a load off my mind when we spend a few bucks on our "experiences".

soxfan22 · Post by **soxfan22** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 4:48 pm

vi lover wrote: Sox - I love your comment about the life insurance! I upped my amount this year and that really takes a load off my mind when we spend a few bucks on our "experiences".

Absolutely...There's nothing like a little piece of mind! That was also part of what I learned when I was 16...My Dad was overweight and diabetic, high stress job, etc...Heart attack. But because he had those issues, he couldn't get life insurance. He worked in a grocery store and my mom is/was a bookkeeper. Times got REAL tough on August 2nd, 1993. But my mom is amazing, and somehow managed to keep the house (by renting out a room my dad and I built that was supposed to be our new family room above the garage), as well as put my sister and I through school.

Long story short, I got life insurance the year my son was born, while I am healthy. Just a decision I made based on a life experience. And the piece of mind was immediate after signing the policy!

54b · Post by **54b** » Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:46 pm

Thanks for the link, Gromit...totally agree and I'm happy to say my wife and I subscribed to the "experience" over "stuff" philosophy pretty much from the day we were married.

Right before we got married in our mid 20's, our parents were very nice and surprised us with some money for a honeymoon. Of course, they also suggested we use part of it along with the money we'd saved for a honeymoon on a down payment for a house and just go somewhere economical.

That probably would have been the fiscally smart move, but instead, we combined the cash and opted for taking a trip abroad we knew we may never have the means or ability to take again - we went to Fiji for a week and lived in a tree on a tiny island so remote it took 3 planes and two boats to get to it.

We're in our mid-30's now, have a mortgage that probably could be smaller if we'd paid more up front, but don't regret our decision for a second.

My grandmother, who was in her teens during the Great Depression, still shakes her head and tells us we were foolish. She'd probably scold us if she knew we were going to STJ in June and not putting the money into savings or back into the house...especially with this economy.

Sometimes I just want to say, "hey grandma, you can't take it with ya." But she turned 100 last August and may damn well decide to outlive me out of spite.

One last thing...there's a movie with Joe Pesci called "With Honors." Not a great movie, but there's a scene in it where Pesci, who plays a homeless man living in a basement on the Harvard campus, shows some college kids a bag of rocks and seemingly worthless items that he says are his most prized possessions because each one was collected from a spot where he had the best experiences of his life. It was his bag of memories.

And maybe, just maybe, there's a small glass jar containing some Gibney beach sand sitting on my desk right now...shhhh, I said, "maybe."

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