Help for a friend

[BOATSRUS]

Hey guys,

My dearest friend just lost her dog very tragically... while out for a walk with her 2 grandaughters...2-1/2 and 4-years old...a neighbors's big dog got lose and attacked her little dog (5-1/2 lbs)....it happened so quick,...she just could not protect them all....to make a long story short ,.. she is totally heartbroken...cannot even speak about it yet...(she's like me, put it in drive and just grit your teeth)...Does anyone know if there is any kind of grief support group for the loss of pets?...She lives 6 hours away, and I just feel so helpless....I know what its like to lose a cherished pet...had to put down my 17 year old lab who was the best friend I ever had.. but at least I knew it was coming and knew that he had had a long wonderful life...This little man had been there for her through some major life changes and was a big part of her life...I just can't imagine how to cope with something like this... thought I'd throw it out here to my forum friends.. you guys are the best "human resources" that I know.... thanks in advance
Boats

[lprof]

My heart goes out to your friend not only because of her loss but for having to witness such horror while shielding her grandchildren... I can not imagine... of course she is heartbroken.
I have lost several pets; it is never easy. Although I have not used a support group, a google produced this site which looks useful to me.
I hope that her saddness is lessened soon.

http://www.petloss.com

and within that site
http://www.petloss.com/phones.htm

[BOATSRUS]

Thanks Iprof,

That looks like a good start...she is such a wonderful person and I just hate to see her suffer so much..most folks don't recognize the grief that the loss of a pet can bring, and her situation is compounded....thanks again

[LysaC]

That's not only a tragic loss but I'm sure she is also suffering from the trauma of seeing it happen. I can only imagine how violent and horrific the scene was.

Maybe your friend can contact the local vet or local animal shelter and ask about any support groups for loss of a pet. If there isn't one, a vet and a shelter are great places to find people who will listen, talk and understand a bit about what your friend is going through.

We pet owners, we get it and it sucks to lose a pet.

[chicagoans]

I'm so sorry for your friend. I don't have any info to help her except to maybe contact her local Humane Society for ideas. While you and she are looking for ideas, please keep her little grandkids in mind. My worry would be for them and how it affected them to see this. It could give them nightmares or make them afraid of dogs.

What consequences have happened for the big dog and its owners? That sounds like a poorly trained animal and/or careless owners. I'm SO grateful that it didn't attack her grandchildren! If your friend has not contacted the police yet, she should. God forbid the dog goes after a child next time.

[Marcia (Mrs. Pete)]

Whoa. That is a horrible and tragic story. As an owner of a beloved pet beagle, I "get it" about the bond. I cannot even begin to imagine what your friend is going through. Like "Chicagoans" I am even more concerned for the grandchildren, though.

Petloss looks like a very good resource for your friend but I'm not sure how to address what the grandchildren have been through. Most certainly, their pediatrician should be contacted and it might be best for them to seek some counseling of their own.

Please keep us posted.

[AH]

Boats,

I'm not sure you were aware but there are sympathy cards for "loss of pet". You could also make a contribution to an animal cause in her pet's memory and note that in the card. My office (veterinary) does that for our clients. Also there are some online sites that have been helpful for our clients. I cannot recommend one in particular but if you google you should come up with some good options. Just recognizing your friend's grief is something you are doing for her and letting her talk about it when and if she is ready will also be very helpful. As others have said, many people do not understand the grief associated with the loss of a pet. The trauma your friend suffered in the way her dog died compounds her loss a thousand fold. You are a good friend to be concerned.
AH

[BOATSRUS]

Update,

My friend is doing better...talked to her today..is was sad because she just picked up little Bodie's ashes....she has had alot of support from her family and friends down there...the grand's are doing fine...the Mom is a nurse and took the 4 year old to the pediatrician the next day and he said that there have been alot of studies on post tramatic stress and what they advise is if the kids bring it up then talk to them about it, otherwise let it go.

The dog is gone from the neighborhood thankfully, after my friends kids went over there and blew the guy out (He had been a REAL ASS about the whole thing, and evidently was ignorant enough not to realize the consequences of this attack.. it is a felony in SC if your dog attacks and kills a family pet)....in any case she misses her little buddy, but I heard an encouraging sign... she has already been online looking at dogs and at shelter dogs.... I told her there woulg never be another Bodie, but there are plenty of other dogs out there that need good homes and lots of love...it just a really sad, tragic story.... he was only 4 years old and had
lots of life to live... thanks all for your kind words

Boats

[Agent99]

I'm glad she's doing better. They are very fortunate that it wasn't the kids the dog went after. I'm sort of surprised they didn't put that dog down. That viciousness is hard to train out of a dog. You can't make a vicious dog safe IMO.

[lprof]

I, too, am glad to hear that your friend and the children are getting beyond the trauma and doing better. Finding another pet so soon is hard emotionally, but the pain will be eased once the new guy or gal becomes part of the home and the heart.

[mindehankins]

Oh bless her! I hope she finds some joy in a new furry friend. I can't imagine the trauma she went through.

[Connie]

I'm so sorry for your friend. When a pet dies, it so so sad. I still miss my Buca and Tally so much. I still talk about them all the time. They were my buddies. Would always sit with me and follow me. I found both of them dead.. Just horrible.

Every pet is special and hopefully your friend can move on and will have another pet that she loves. I have found that getting another pet, in time, does help.

People who say that pets are just objects, are so wrong. I think about my brother who never has had a pet, he's missing out on so much.

Best to your friend. Such a sad story.