usvi-on-line
My opinion about bullies
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StJohnRuth
- Posts: 1989
- Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:42 pm
- Location: St. John, VI
My opinion about bullies
The first time I was exposed to bullying behavior I was in Junior High School. Since then, I have tried to understand the nature of this kind of behavior. I have not been successful in understanding what motivates bullies, even after all these years. What I do know is that a bully cannot be shamed into understanding why their behavior is unacceptable because they are not embarrassed by it. They are proud of it.
In my opinion, the soil of the Off Topic Forum has been contaminated by bullying behavior that is insulting, inflammatory and offensive. For me, the standards for decency and civility in social discourse here have dropped to an intolerable level over time. The bad behavior has become more and more routine in nature. Not only do we accept it now, we expect it.
Please note that I am not talking about anyone’s views regarding sex, politics, religion, sports, books, videos or radio announcers. I am not talking about anyone’s I.Q. I have spent most of my life surrounded by brilliant people who contribute to my own existence in a positive manner, regardless of whether or not I agree with their opinions, so I do not waste my time reading the ideas of people who are rude, offensive, obnoxious and arrogant. I do not need to intentionally expose myself to unmannerly behavior that includes insulting other people because of their differing points of view.
I have not spent much of my time discussing forum bullies or their bad behavior with anyone until quite recently. I haven’t paid too much attention to all the turmoil because I am a busy person and quite frankly I have little interest in the ideas of people who think they have the right to insult people at every turn in the name of freedom of speech.
I am paying attention now.
In my opinion, soxfan22 owes an apology to Lex and to all the members of this forum for his rude and insulting reply to Lex’s post yesterday.
This is not my party, so I can’t ask a bully to leave. This is not my forum, so I can’t pull the plug on someone’s account because they are belligerent, patronizing and insulting to other respected forum members whose input I value.
I am not going to leave this forum, as many of my friends have. I will continue to seek out posts by the good people of this forum who have positive contributions to make. I come here to laugh and enjoy and that is what I will do. I will “live and let live” to a certain extent, but I will not stand by any longer and tolerate the bad behavior that has become the norm here. I will start speaking out more when I happen upon behavior that I think is unacceptable. I don’t care whether anyone agrees with me or not. Don’t bother attempting to obscure the matter by bullying me or asking me to explain further, because I will probably ignore you. If you don’t get where I’m coming from now, you never will.
- Ruth
In my opinion, the soil of the Off Topic Forum has been contaminated by bullying behavior that is insulting, inflammatory and offensive. For me, the standards for decency and civility in social discourse here have dropped to an intolerable level over time. The bad behavior has become more and more routine in nature. Not only do we accept it now, we expect it.
Please note that I am not talking about anyone’s views regarding sex, politics, religion, sports, books, videos or radio announcers. I am not talking about anyone’s I.Q. I have spent most of my life surrounded by brilliant people who contribute to my own existence in a positive manner, regardless of whether or not I agree with their opinions, so I do not waste my time reading the ideas of people who are rude, offensive, obnoxious and arrogant. I do not need to intentionally expose myself to unmannerly behavior that includes insulting other people because of their differing points of view.
I have not spent much of my time discussing forum bullies or their bad behavior with anyone until quite recently. I haven’t paid too much attention to all the turmoil because I am a busy person and quite frankly I have little interest in the ideas of people who think they have the right to insult people at every turn in the name of freedom of speech.
I am paying attention now.
In my opinion, soxfan22 owes an apology to Lex and to all the members of this forum for his rude and insulting reply to Lex’s post yesterday.
This is not my party, so I can’t ask a bully to leave. This is not my forum, so I can’t pull the plug on someone’s account because they are belligerent, patronizing and insulting to other respected forum members whose input I value.
I am not going to leave this forum, as many of my friends have. I will continue to seek out posts by the good people of this forum who have positive contributions to make. I come here to laugh and enjoy and that is what I will do. I will “live and let live” to a certain extent, but I will not stand by any longer and tolerate the bad behavior that has become the norm here. I will start speaking out more when I happen upon behavior that I think is unacceptable. I don’t care whether anyone agrees with me or not. Don’t bother attempting to obscure the matter by bullying me or asking me to explain further, because I will probably ignore you. If you don’t get where I’m coming from now, you never will.
- Ruth
Well said, Ruth! I thought all of this nonsense was going to end when the election was over. But, give some folks a little fuel and the madness begins again. Personally, I can barely read the crap because it bores me, yawn.... It is the bullies who always think they are right no matter what. Why don't you guys PM with your snide comments? Oh, I forgot, it is a forum and you have freedom of "speech" 
.
.Going "home" again October 26th!
I am sorry Ruth, but as much as I do respect your input, I will not apologize to Lex. If Anthony would like me to leave, I will accommodate his request.
This board is probably 90% liberal. Whenever one of the few conservatives decides to speak up, we are often the ones getting shouted down.
And this is too bad, Ruth. I have shopped in your store on numerous occasions, and sent many people there as their first stop when they step off the ferry. I respect you for so many reasons, not the least of which being that you have built and maintained the coolest, most unique, most successful shop on the island. I love small business owners.
But no, I will not apologize to Lex. I did indeed protest the fact that Lex started a new topic which completely mirrored a topic that we had been discussing for days. I didn't see the point, and still don't. Other than, like I said, his views are so important in his mind, that he couldn't possibly do himself the disservice of burying them on page 5 of an existing, lively, thoughtful debate.
I did not become involved in this new political debate until a few days after its inception. I was reading along, trying to get the 30,000 foot view of some of the views around here. Sometimes you can't get that when you are among the fray.
Until three or four people sent me PM's asking me why I was not taking part. Then late last night, after I simply illustrated my belief that I did not need to vote for the african-american for my son to see that he doesn't need to be burdened by stereotypes...I was called a racist for my comments.
I can assure you I have not a single racist bone in my body. Does that person owe me an apology? There was nothing racial in my comments. They're still there, you can go back and read them if you'd like. I stand by them. In fact, it would be racist for me to even mention the color of a man's skin to my son, and therefore, I do not.
Contrary to what most of you believe around here, we conservatives/libertarians/etc do not see race. We see people who live in the greatest nation on Earth, and just by that very fact, have been granted the greatest gift of all. It is in fact the left that constantly uses race as a wedge issue.
This board is probably 90% liberal. Whenever one of the few conservatives decides to speak up, we are often the ones getting shouted down.
And this is too bad, Ruth. I have shopped in your store on numerous occasions, and sent many people there as their first stop when they step off the ferry. I respect you for so many reasons, not the least of which being that you have built and maintained the coolest, most unique, most successful shop on the island. I love small business owners.
But no, I will not apologize to Lex. I did indeed protest the fact that Lex started a new topic which completely mirrored a topic that we had been discussing for days. I didn't see the point, and still don't. Other than, like I said, his views are so important in his mind, that he couldn't possibly do himself the disservice of burying them on page 5 of an existing, lively, thoughtful debate.
I did not become involved in this new political debate until a few days after its inception. I was reading along, trying to get the 30,000 foot view of some of the views around here. Sometimes you can't get that when you are among the fray.
Until three or four people sent me PM's asking me why I was not taking part. Then late last night, after I simply illustrated my belief that I did not need to vote for the african-american for my son to see that he doesn't need to be burdened by stereotypes...I was called a racist for my comments.
I can assure you I have not a single racist bone in my body. Does that person owe me an apology? There was nothing racial in my comments. They're still there, you can go back and read them if you'd like. I stand by them. In fact, it would be racist for me to even mention the color of a man's skin to my son, and therefore, I do not.
Contrary to what most of you believe around here, we conservatives/libertarians/etc do not see race. We see people who live in the greatest nation on Earth, and just by that very fact, have been granted the greatest gift of all. It is in fact the left that constantly uses race as a wedge issue.
July 2003 - Honeymoon at The Westin
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
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Xislandgirl
- Posts: 4163
- Joined: Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:03 pm
- Location: Slightly left of center
And the last think I will say here is this...Many of you have spent weeks condemning anybody who has a different POV from the person who made the original post. You have called those people "thread hijackers". In other words, if you do not agree completely with the OP, then you have hijacked a thread.
That is where my indignation came from on the Lex issue. It is not okay to simply raise a differing POV while staying in topic...But it is okay to start a completely *new* thread about the same old frigging discussion?
People have been posting on the food thread for years...I think I'll go start a new one today. There will be nothing different about it, other than it will have my name and my post at the top.
That is where my indignation came from on the Lex issue. It is not okay to simply raise a differing POV while staying in topic...But it is okay to start a completely *new* thread about the same old frigging discussion?
People have been posting on the food thread for years...I think I'll go start a new one today. There will be nothing different about it, other than it will have my name and my post at the top.
July 2003 - Honeymoon at The Westin
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
I see how this works.
Post only if you agree.
IF you really are upset with bullying behavior and that is your ONLY interest why didn't you mention how Dave007 was treated two days ago. Shouldn't someone apologize to him??
It is interesting that everyone who agrees with Ruth also agrees with her political views.
I don't buy it. Then intent of many on this forum to quiet someone whose political views differ from their own.
It is sad.
If Anthony asks Sox to leave I am out too. Before long you will have it your way and you will only have people posting that agree with you. What is that? Reverse bullying?
FYI I have yet to say anything negative about the Olympics and haven't attacked Obama's character. Can you say the same about Bush when he was president?
Gina
Post only if you agree.
IF you really are upset with bullying behavior and that is your ONLY interest why didn't you mention how Dave007 was treated two days ago. Shouldn't someone apologize to him??
It is interesting that everyone who agrees with Ruth also agrees with her political views.
I don't buy it. Then intent of many on this forum to quiet someone whose political views differ from their own.
It is sad.
If Anthony asks Sox to leave I am out too. Before long you will have it your way and you will only have people posting that agree with you. What is that? Reverse bullying?
FYI I have yet to say anything negative about the Olympics and haven't attacked Obama's character. Can you say the same about Bush when he was president?
Gina
Re: My opinion about bullies
Just want to be sure we all know what you are asking for here.StJohnRuth wrote: In my opinion, soxfan22 owes an apology to Lex and to all the members of this forum for his rude and insulting reply to Lex’s post yesterday.
This is not my party, so I can’t ask a bully to leave. This is not my forum, so I can’t pull the plug on someone’s account because they are belligerent, patronizing and insulting to other respected forum members whose input I value.
- Ruth
July 2003 - Honeymoon at The Westin
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
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California Girl
Hi Gina - Apparently you didn't read that entire thread or you would have seen this, which I posted:GinaXOXO wrote:
IF you really are upset with bullying behavior and that is your ONLY interest why didn't you mention how Dave007 was treated two days ago. Shouldn't someone apologize to him??
Do you find that a sufficient apology or is there something I missed?Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:00 pm
You're right Lysa. I stand corrected. I thought I was having fun and joining in the sarcasm, but apparently I was wrong. Apologies to Dave and anyone else I offended.
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StJohnRuth
- Posts: 1989
- Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 8:42 pm
- Location: St. John, VI
Soxfan22,
If you start you own thread every time you have something to say, it will make it much easier for me to avoid reading anything you post. I would have no objection to that whatsoever.
My post was not about politics or race. It was not about whether or not our country is great. It was not about food. It was not about my business or what you think of it or how many customers you have sent or will send there.
My post was about your inexcusable rudeness, nothing else.
I did not expect you to apologize. I do not expect Anthony to ask you to leave. I would be very happy if your last post was indeed the last thing that you will say here.
- Ruth
If you start you own thread every time you have something to say, it will make it much easier for me to avoid reading anything you post. I would have no objection to that whatsoever.
My post was not about politics or race. It was not about whether or not our country is great. It was not about food. It was not about my business or what you think of it or how many customers you have sent or will send there.
My post was about your inexcusable rudeness, nothing else.
I did not expect you to apologize. I do not expect Anthony to ask you to leave. I would be very happy if your last post was indeed the last thing that you will say here.
- Ruth
CG - I'm still waiting on your explanation of your assertion that my comments last night were based in racism. Isn't that the very definition of bullying? When you have no other intellectual recourse to debate someone's position, and then turn to race? Isn't that bullying?
July 2003 - Honeymoon at The Westin
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
July 2004 - Glenmar, Gifft Hill
July 2005 - Arco Iris, Fish Bay
December 2007 - Dreamcatcher, GCB
July 2008 - Ellison Villa, VGE
Maybe your "apology" was lost on me due to the tone. When you apology is prefaced by:
Come on. How can anyone expect their apology to be taken seriously with that kind of tone?
Gina
I thought I was having fun and joining in the sarcasm, but apparently I was wrong.
Come on. How can anyone expect their apology to be taken seriously with that kind of tone?
Gina
California Girl wrote:Hi Gina - Apparently you didn't read that entire thread or you would have seen this, which I posted:GinaXOXO wrote:
IF you really are upset with bullying behavior and that is your ONLY interest why didn't you mention how Dave007 was treated two days ago. Shouldn't someone apologize to him??Do you find that a sufficient apology or is there something I missed?Posted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 6:00 pm
You're right Lysa. I stand corrected. I thought I was having fun and joining in the sarcasm, but apparently I was wrong. Apologies to Dave and anyone else I offended.