usvi-on-line
Pre-screen for Newbies-- posted on request
Pre-screen for Newbies-- posted on request
A few people have asked I re-post this in its own thread.
Happy Friday.
LMG's STJ Newbie Pre-screen
1. I put sand in their knickers when they're not looking. If they scream, they're out. If they ask for another margarita, they're in.
2. I plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously. If they stay and don't kill me, they're in.
3. While driving with them in the passenger seat, I pretend to stop in the middle of the road to: take photos, move for a water truck, or talk to my friends. If they get irritated, they're out. If they have an unexplainable urge to have a drink in their hand, they're in.
4. I coat myself in several layers of sunscreen and Deep Woods OFF and then rub salt on myself. If they still want to hug me, they're in.
5. Finally, I take them out on a really hot day, give them a fair share of water, beer, and rum, make sure they've gotten some sun, possibly attempt to get them on a rocking boat, make them climb no less than fifteen steep hills in flip-flops and then take them to have a $5 cheeseburger/fish sandwich/salad/slice of pizza that actually costs $12. If they eat it and declare it the best food on Earth, they're in.
Happy Friday.
LMG's STJ Newbie Pre-screen
1. I put sand in their knickers when they're not looking. If they scream, they're out. If they ask for another margarita, they're in.
2. I plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously. If they stay and don't kill me, they're in.
3. While driving with them in the passenger seat, I pretend to stop in the middle of the road to: take photos, move for a water truck, or talk to my friends. If they get irritated, they're out. If they have an unexplainable urge to have a drink in their hand, they're in.
4. I coat myself in several layers of sunscreen and Deep Woods OFF and then rub salt on myself. If they still want to hug me, they're in.
5. Finally, I take them out on a really hot day, give them a fair share of water, beer, and rum, make sure they've gotten some sun, possibly attempt to get them on a rocking boat, make them climb no less than fifteen steep hills in flip-flops and then take them to have a $5 cheeseburger/fish sandwich/salad/slice of pizza that actually costs $12. If they eat it and declare it the best food on Earth, they're in.
I forwarded this to Mr. Gromit and he had the following suggested change for #2.... 
Correction for # 2:
2. Plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously of alcohol. If they’re stumbling in around the same time, they're in. (Bonus points for them arriving before you do and having your drink already ordered.)
Correction for # 2:
2. Plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously of alcohol. If they’re stumbling in around the same time, they're in. (Bonus points for them arriving before you do and having your drink already ordered.)
*Another fine scatterbrained production
Bonus points for smelling suspiciously of something beside alcohol.Gromit wrote:I forwarded this to Mr. Gromit and he had the following suggested change for #2....
Correction for # 2:
2. Plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously of alcohol. If they’re stumbling in around the same time, they're in. (Bonus points for them arriving before you do and having your drink already ordered.)
Cheers, RickG
Last edited by RickG on Fri Jun 12, 2009 12:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
S/V Echoes - Coral Bay - St. John, VI
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designbyroe
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hoosierdaddy
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Pete (Mr. Marcia)
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I would have failed most of those tests.
I have a very long and incredibly boring story, based on something I learned in law school, that makes me abhor practical jokes. (Not that what you were suggesting actually are practical jokes.) The essence is that it always involves making someone else look stupid.
We could do that. Or, we could not.
I have a very long and incredibly boring story, based on something I learned in law school, that makes me abhor practical jokes. (Not that what you were suggesting actually are practical jokes.) The essence is that it always involves making someone else look stupid.
We could do that. Or, we could not.
Wisconsin, smell the dairy air
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Tracy in WI
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- Location: Wisconsin