Gromit's Adventures in Happy Land: Day 6 -- Part 1

Travel discussion for St. John
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Gromit
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Gromit's Adventures in Happy Land: Day 6 -- Part 1

Post by Gromit »

Gromit's Adventures in Happy Land: Day 6 PART ONE
(Again, REALLY long but HOPEFULLY worth it!)

Location: Mayan Sky (Upper Carolina) Coral Bay

Gromit's Cast of characters:
Gromit: ME!!
Mr. Gromit: Hubby
MIL: Mother in law (Newbie)
FIL: Father in law (Newbie)
Vicki & Co: Vicki, her hubby, his best friend and his wife (Their actual names are being withheld to protect the innocent).
ScubaGirl aka. Syndey her hubby Keith and their friends (OMG I feel like and ass I forgot their names!)

*Other Krewe members will be added as the days progress!

Friday December 12 (Day 6 of 7): Day on Jost with Vicki & Co.; Breakfast at Soggy Dollar; drinks and chairs at Miss Gertrudes; Roti at Foxy's; Meeting Foxy and hearing his off-color island dog joke; Meeting Ivan and checking out Ivan's campground. In-laws went shopping; Dinner Out at Miss Lucy's Full Moon Party with Sydney & Co. Drinks at Skinny's; Tips for getting a table at Miss Lucy's FMP for 8 after 7pm; Back to Skinny's after FMP for more food and drinks; and Impromptu sing-along at Skinny's.

Other than Wednesday (on the boat with Sydney & Co) I was looking forward to this day the most and day on Jost Van Dyke with Vicki & Co.

We got up early and headed into Cruz Bay. The ferry to Jost only operates Friday-Sunday with a departure at 8:30 am from STJ and return from Jost at 3:30 PM

We tried to find a parking place close to the National Park ferry dock but no luck. We needed to get breakfast at Deli Grotto anyway so we drove to Mongoose Junction and parked.

There was a little guy with a clipboard who was up everyone's ass asking why we were parking there. We were getting breakfast and spending money at Mongoose so there was no reason for this nonsense.
Seriously, I know parking is at a premium but this guy needs to get a life.

After grabbing breakfast hubby drove the Jeep over to St. John car rental to park for the day. Meanwhile I met up with Vicki & Co in the gated area.

The folks try to make this process as easy as possible but folks seem to make things harder on themselves than they need to be.

Tip #1. Bring a pen!! You're going to a foreign country people and there's paper work to be filled out. Also it needs to be blue or black ink otherwise they get pissy.

Tip #2. Everyone in the party has to show their face to the girl checking you in and putting your name on the list. Passports out please no fumbling around like it's a big surprise.

Tip #3. Fill out your forms completely and thoroughly on dry land. It's a bitch trying to write on the boat and there could be vomiting involved. Not pretty.

Tip #4. When filling out paperwork be through. No abbreviations or they get pissy.

Once you've filled out paperwork, gotten your name on the list and paid $60 per person you can pretty much chill out until they are ready to put you on the boat. They take cash, MC, V and even American Express.

So once everyone is ready to go you begin the "walk." The "walk" is pure production and a by-product of useless government meddling in something it knows absolutely nothing about.

This whole "security" issue in STJ is a total joke and don't even get me started on the freakin fence. "Secured" dock my ass.

So because of the new "Security" measures the boat no longer actually leaves from the National Park dock. Now, you play a grown up version of "Follow the Leader" all the way from the NP dock, past Uncle Joes BBQ, past the Post office, past the taxis all the way to the Cruz Bay ferry dock in order to board the ferry.

Yeah. Like THAT's secure!!

Safely and SECURELY aboard the ferry we make our way to Jost Van Dyke.

When we got there they asked the folks continuing to Tortola to get off first and go to the customs office to get checked in. The idea being that they need to get back on the boat and folks staying on Jost will go last.

This process seemed to take an inordinate amount of time, especially challenging considering we were just there for the day and had to leave at 3:30pm and it was already close to 10 am. The process was made even more difficult because folks didn't follow instructions (see Tips 1-4 above).

Vicki & co were renting a car because they planned to stay overnight on Jost. We told them that we would just grab a cab and meet them at the Soggy Dollar bar.

I think the short cab ride was about $5 each and folks just made arrangements with the driver to come back and get them at an appointed time. If you don't have a car this is the way to go.

We made our way through the palm trees to the beach and looked around. I spotted folks noshing on breakfast and I had only eaten one quarter of my muffin from Deli Grotto. Knowing that I had a long day of drinking and sun ahead I figured that I should get a good breakfast down before the damage was to begin.

Anticipating company I asked them to set a table for 6 and they were very accommodating. We snagged a couple of painkillers at the bar and then sat down.

They had two options: Omelett and fruit or toast and fruit. It included juice and coffee. I didn't even bother to ask what the price was in advance (which in many cases can be a huge mistake). But in this case it wasn't too bad.

The rest of the party arrived and Vicki set off to capture her photos while we ate breakfast. For three breakfast the bill was $29.00 which in island terms was pretty decent.

As we were leaving, a guy was working that ring on the tree game and hooked the ring. We all cheered and gave him a high five for the accomplishment. I imagine that game gets harder the more Painkillers are involved.

After a decent breakfast we headed up the beach towards Gertrude's and rented some beach chairs. Padded chairs are $10 for the day, non-padded are $5 for the day and the hammocks are free.

Vicki's pals wanted chairs in the shade while Vicki and I were content frying our asses in the warm Caribbean sun so we kind of split up.

Mr. Gromit headed for a hammock and safely ensconced himself in the folds of rope, swaying in the breeze.

Padded chairs safely beneath our butts, Vicki and I began to shoot the breeze talking about everything and nothing solving all of the world's problems one painkiller at a time -- as only one can do in place this beautiful.

Vicki's hubby Matt played Painkiller gopher and would not let me buy any drinks until I threatened to pitch a fit if he didn't let me pay for at least one round.

This stretch of Jost van Dyke is truly beautiful and limited only to those who arrive by boat with the intention of getting there.

Like St. John, one doesn't generally happen upon this island by accident since you have to jump through so many hoops to set foot on this little piece of paradise.

The sand is soft and white and the water is even more an impossibly blue topaz than it is on the beaches of St. John. The bars are right on the beach (like they used to be back in the day in Happy Land) and the people are friendly.

It was getting to be about 12:30 and time for lunch. My good friend Vicki was in need of sustenance so we piled into the car (one person in the trunk) and headed off in true Hunter S. Thompson fashion for Foxy's for... wait for it.... more drinking and ..... food.

On the way Vicki decided that we should see Ivan's and the campground/cottages they would be staying in that night.

Now this is a very small island but even on a two lane road we managed to get lost enough to require at least one U turn.

U turn safely accomplished, our able pilot, Vicki's husband Matt, parked next to the dumpster at Ivans campground.

Now, if you haven't been to Ivans you just can't appreciate how uniquely gorgeous and quirky the place is. It looks like the original version of what the cheap tourist trap places on Florida's Redneck Riviera have been trying to unsuccessfully copy for the past half century.

The place is basically held together by shells and sand and spit. It's little more than a lean to that dares any hurricane to challenge its right to be exactly where it is. Where the Lord and Ivan want it to be for it could exist nowhere else but this wonderful place under the care of this incredibly adorable West Indian gentleman.

Their specialty drink is a Bananawhacker which is incredibly overpriced but worth every penny if only to buy you five minutes of uninterrupted peace in this unusual center of the universe.

This was only a brief stop between two destinations so after a romp around the grounds with Vicki Paparazzi we piled back into the car and headed for Foxy's.

I had been to Foxy's once before on a day sail. This was the day sail the followed Flip Flop and Gromit's 14 rum punches at Miss Lucy's the night before, so it's almost fair to say I might as well have never been to Foxy's before.

Even in the post hangover blur that was my last visit to Foxy's I knew that this, too, was a pretty OK place and warranted my return.

This time, relatively sober, (relative, being.. well, relative) I was able to enjoy my lunch and actually meet Foxy. Himself. In person. For rizzle.

I ordered the chicken roti for lunch and was not disappointed. If you haven't had chicken roti in the VI's I urge you to give it a try. It's heavy on the curry but not spicy and it's only something you find in the vicinity, generally speaking. The Willy T also makes a mean roti. Vicki's pals ordered the conch fritters and those too looked pretty darn good.

I like the shops at Foxy's. I managed to score a long sleeved T and a shell necklace for myself and Mr. Gromit. I haven't taken mine off since I returned from STJ.

Like a teenager, who has her hand signed by a rock star and refuses to wash it, I don't plan on taking this necklace off until I return to STJ (only 179 days to go!)

Foxy was there hanging out with friends as was his black lab, Taboo. Taboo is a slut of a dog that likes to play hard to get--a lethal combination.

While were waiting for our food, Taboo was making the rounds and Foxy comes over to say "Hi."

"Hi" we all say.

Foxy asks in his gentle West Indian accent, "Do you all know what kind of dog this is?"

Vicki's husband Matt innocently answers, "Sure. He's a black Labrador retriever."

"Nooooo. Nooooo. Noooo," Foxy says. "Dis here is an ISLAND dog."

"Oh," Matt says, sound politely confused.

"Do you know what makes him an ISLAND dog?" Foxy asks.

"Ummm. No," We ALL reply at this point intrigued as to where Foxy is leading us.

"Well 'tree tings make 'im an ISLAND dog," Foxy says. "First off he's black. Second, he sit on his ASS ALL DAY doin' not a ting. And Lastly, he don' know who he father is! Dat what make 'im and ISLAND dog!"

As completely off color and un-PC as this joke was we couldn't help but laugh out loud.

Towards the end of lunch, with Foxy still making the rounds we asked him if we could take our picture with him. Can't wait to see THAT photo.

It was getting close to 3:15 and time to head back to the ferry dock. Our captain, Matt and our cruise Director Vicki made sure that we arrived back at the dock in time for the return ferry to STJ. Not saying that we were sober. But we were there in time.

To be Continued..... DAY 6 -PART TWO!!
Last edited by Gromit on Tue Dec 23, 2008 1:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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DnD
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Post by DnD »

Gromit,

Did you cut this one off to tease us? I found part 1 and 2, need part 1 1/2 on Jost.......please.
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Pia
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Post by Pia »

I took the ferry to Jost last Friday and left from the same old dock right there in town, no parade through town needed :)

Also I do feel the need to mention leaving your car at Mongoose for the day when you are going to Jost - please, I ask as nice as I can, that you do not do this - parking is a bi**h and when you are trying to get to work and for the people actually trying to shop there, it is very frustrating, and they do have signs posted that parking is for your time spent shopping or eating at Mongoose - also during "high" season they will either a) tow you (someone came into our office who had parked there last year while on Jost looking for their car and they had been towed and had to pay close to $200 I think to get their rental car back) or b) "boot" you - $125 to remove the boot and they do this all day long.

Sorry if this offends some but I feel it is important to point out.

Still enjoying your reports though :wink:

Pia
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Carolyn
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Post by Carolyn »

Now that Slimman has his lot in town, that is a good alternative for a day trip.
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Gromit
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Post by Gromit »

OK it seems that the Forum Jumbies are acing up again. I will go back and re-post.
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Gromit
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Post by Gromit »

The Jumbies CUT OFF the BEST part!!!!! I cut and pasted it back in.

Enjoy-- It's a pretty good read!
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Pia
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Post by Pia »

OK I take back what might have come across as a little harsh as the next paragraph was missing in it's first posting (those Jumbies :) ) so I guess I take this chance for anyone who might not know about the parking situation to now keep it in mind when trying to find a spot :)

Pia
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Gromit
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Post by Gromit »

Hey Pia-- maybe I wasn't clear -- we had no intention of parking there for the day.

We just wanted to park to get breakfast and this guy was up our ass about it which is annoying when we are actually following the rules.

I am well aware of the issues that folks face regarding parking in Cruz Bay and Mongoose Junction.

Instead off acting like a jerk to people he should just adopt a wait and see approach rather than 1) asking people why they are parking there and then 2) LITERALLY following people into Deli Grotto to make sure they are actually buying breakfast. Seriously this was a bit too much.

How do they know that folks aren't there shopping all day anyway? Are they going to lo-jack customers?

What if I am shopping all day (as I have done in the past) and come back to my car towed or booted? If I produce receipts from throughout the day will they waive the charges??

What if someone did park there for the day with the intention of shopping on the way back to their car and on the way from the ferry drop $500 at one of the shops only to find that their car was towed??

Your point is well taken but you are preaching to the choir here... that's why we rent from STJ car rental -- so we can park in their lot without issues.

Mongoose needs to come up with a better way of doing business instead of harassing folks who are truly following the rules.

I was so annoyed by this guy that for the first time ever I didn't spend one dime at Mongoose other than to buy breakfast at Deli Grotto. The only other time we parked in their lot was to go to Morgans Mango for a late dinner and the shops were closing up so it wasn't a problem.

All I'm saying is I think that the poorly executed "enforcement" is having some unintended consequences and they may want to re-think their strategy.
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Gromit
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Post by Gromit »

Pia-- looks like our e-mails crossed in cyber-space....
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AnyTing
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Re: Gromit's Adventures in Happy Land: Day 6 -- Part 1

Post by AnyTing »

Well said! I love the description of Ivan's as held together by sand, shells, and spit. That is simply perfect.

"Secured" dock my ass.

Seriously, Gromit. I have no idea why you are being so negative. OF COURSE it was more secure to check everyone's passports and tickets at the national park dock, traipse us through town, around the park, and through the swarming hoardes at the ferry dock to shove us onto a ferry where no one even checked to see that we had a ticket. Ever. I have NO IDEA why you didn't feel this process was secure...

.... so we piled into the car (one person in the trunk) .....

Just so you guys know, we weren't abusing anyone. It was Matt's annoying friend John that we shoved in the trunk and we would have left him there if we could have gotten away with it.

Can't wait to see THAT photo.

Girlfriend, all photos are ready and waiting. I just need your "go ahead." Hint, hint, I am waiting for your go ahead.

I like the shops at Foxy's. I managed to score a long sleeved T and a shell necklace for myself and Mr. Gromit. I haven't taken mine off since I returned from STJ.

Um....I really think you need to change your tshirt now.

:D
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Gromit
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Post by Gromit »

The T-shirt is in the wash sister, but the NECKLACE is staying on.... till it falls off.... ;-)
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California Girl

Re: Gromit's Adventures in Happy Land: Day 6 -- Part 1

Post by California Girl »

Gromit wrote:We made our way through the palm trees to the beach and looked around.
I don't know why, but I just love that sentence! 8)

On to part 2!
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