usvi-on-line
The etiquette or ethics of PMs
The etiquette or ethics of PMs
Every once in a while I get an odd or unpleasant PM. Is there any tradition or rule discouraging me from posting it on the forum for all to see? I generally just delete them, but occasionally have considered sharing the weirdness with others.
I figure that they're called private for a reason, so even when it seems too good to not share, I don't share them. Generally, I just delete the craziness without responding, or if the post is threatening or otherwise bad manners (I've never had one of those here), I will forward it to the moderator. Not because I expect them to do anything, but just because as a moderator on other boards, I like to know who the loony tunes are. And generally I trust moderators to be discreet and realize they are private messages.
So, if someone is saying bad things to you and you feel like something should be done, you can forward to Anthony. If they are nuts, I guess you just get to know that yourself. If you'd rather not have a conversation with a nut without witnesses, I guess you could bring it onto the forum, but I have really enjoyed the lack of shenanigans around here lately.
So, if someone is saying bad things to you and you feel like something should be done, you can forward to Anthony. If they are nuts, I guess you just get to know that yourself. If you'd rather not have a conversation with a nut without witnesses, I guess you could bring it onto the forum, but I have really enjoyed the lack of shenanigans around here lately.
I would say this - if is spam or something like it, I would want to know.
If it is rude and/or offensive, especially if it happens repeatedly or if you have asked for the messages to stop, I would also want to know.
I don't think they need to be posted out into the forum - and I am not sure in what if any situations that would be a good idea, but please don't be afraid to alert me to any issues that you may have with the PM system.
If it is rude and/or offensive, especially if it happens repeatedly or if you have asked for the messages to stop, I would also want to know.
I don't think they need to be posted out into the forum - and I am not sure in what if any situations that would be a good idea, but please don't be afraid to alert me to any issues that you may have with the PM system.
Anthony for Virgin Islands On Line
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Pete (Mr. Marcia)
- Posts: 1471
- Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 4:48 pm
- Location: Madison, Wisconsin
I know what to do with spam. What I was wondering about is just because the sender of a PM decides to send it privately, does the recipient have any sort of responsibility to keep it private? Anything prohibiting the recipient from sharing it with the forum, particularly if it's related to an active thread?
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nothintolose
- Posts: 1960
- Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 10:36 pm
- Location: New Orleans, LA
I personally feel that when I send a pm that I am sending it because it's something I prefer not to post on the forum for one reason or another. If I wanted what I wrote on the forum, I would post it on the forum.
That being said, I have never sent a negative pm to anyone nor do I plan to.
That being said, I have never sent a negative pm to anyone nor do I plan to.
"Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die" - Dave Matthews Band
From the years that I've "known" Lex on this board, I would trust his judgement to make the call. Generally speaking, he has been a voice of reason. That said, I've gotten some rather odd PM's a couple of times, and a few lines cast my way trying to bait me into an argument, even on the open board. Mostly I ignore them. I don't feel like getting into pissing matches with my imaginary friends.
When you find yourself in a hole.... quit digging.
I would consider rude and "baiting" PM's to be from cowardly & sad people and thus I would ignore them.
In most cases, these people are energy suckers. Energy suckers like to get attention by being mean/rude/lying/manipulating. Nothing is ever resolved or dropped and they will seek ways to make others look bad. In a twisted way, it makes them feel good.
They are not worth your time and are probably enjoying the fact that we are all taking about their icky PM to Lex right now.
In most cases, these people are energy suckers. Energy suckers like to get attention by being mean/rude/lying/manipulating. Nothing is ever resolved or dropped and they will seek ways to make others look bad. In a twisted way, it makes them feel good.
They are not worth your time and are probably enjoying the fact that we are all taking about their icky PM to Lex right now.
Even in the heat of the election "debates" I never got a single negative PM, many supportive ones but not a single icky one. If I got something I felt was inappropriate, I'd let Anthony know and let him be the sheriff.
Unless of course the person was a total a@# then I would not feel guilty at all exposing them. But that's just me.
Unless of course the person was a total a@# then I would not feel guilty at all exposing them. But that's just me.
I guess that I was wondering if senders didn't feel guaranteed that their PM wouldn't become public, would they be more temperate in what they wrote.
But I do think that there's an interesting policy question here. The sender is probably pretty much assuming that the correspondence will be private, but the recipient hasn't agreed to that. If I were to quote a PM and respond to it on the forum for all to see, I don't think that I would be reneging on any agreement that I've entered into.
Basically, it doesn't seem to me like the right thing to do, but I'm not really sure why. Every once in a while, though, I'll get a PM that really tempts me to show it to others.
But I do think that there's an interesting policy question here. The sender is probably pretty much assuming that the correspondence will be private, but the recipient hasn't agreed to that. If I were to quote a PM and respond to it on the forum for all to see, I don't think that I would be reneging on any agreement that I've entered into.
Basically, it doesn't seem to me like the right thing to do, but I'm not really sure why. Every once in a while, though, I'll get a PM that really tempts me to show it to others.
I think privacy (the sender expecting it) is implied - because it is a PM (Pete is the lawyer here so maybe he can weigh in again).
As a webmaster - I sort of hate the PM on the forum. If you are sharing PMs just about island info, etc. why not just post it? Really - a large part of these systems is just other people reading your responses to another person - it is sort of voyeuristic in nature. No one knows who reads or pays attention to what really. I tend not to use the PM unless it really is a private matter, a business or housekeeping related matter, or in responses to the ones I get.
As a webmaster - I sort of hate the PM on the forum. If you are sharing PMs just about island info, etc. why not just post it? Really - a large part of these systems is just other people reading your responses to another person - it is sort of voyeuristic in nature. No one knows who reads or pays attention to what really. I tend not to use the PM unless it really is a private matter, a business or housekeeping related matter, or in responses to the ones I get.
Anthony for Virgin Islands On Line