wedding cash
wedding cash
How much do you put in an envelope whe attending a wedding? Are you affected by the how much they spent on the reception or only your relationship? It might be interesting to see if there is much of a difference in the various parts of the country.
What others think of you is none of your business.
It also depends if you're an Italian from Northern NJ and work in construction or waste management.
It does depend on the relationship with the couple...or, in our case for an upcoming wedding, wanting to make a point because we were not invited. My idea is to go over the top for this wedding just to say to them "Hey jerks...thanks for not inviting us. This is what you got when you didn't invite us. think of what it would have been if you'd done the right thing and not listened to my stupid brother in law and his fat wife who have some sort of vendetta against my wife...we think because we have a relationship with her father (who remarried after his wife died) and is currently suffering from a debilitating sickness that is slowly killing him while his son looks on idly because he's still mad, 6 years later I'll add, that his mother died and his father had the nerve to try to move on with his life...and had invited us"
Whoa...I got a little off topic there.
Close family/friend: minimum of $100. Increase from there, keeping in mind what their parents gave you when you got married. It's all the same cash moving around at family functions; it's a matter of whose hands it's in at the current moment.
I felt, when we got married, that anything under $100 was tacky. Like the people who gave $25. Thanks for that, but really??? Give a gift otherwise.
Or, like we did when my brother got married for the 2nd time(to a woman who was on marriage #3), give a La Crusset pot stuffed with coupons from Sonic.
It does depend on the relationship with the couple...or, in our case for an upcoming wedding, wanting to make a point because we were not invited. My idea is to go over the top for this wedding just to say to them "Hey jerks...thanks for not inviting us. This is what you got when you didn't invite us. think of what it would have been if you'd done the right thing and not listened to my stupid brother in law and his fat wife who have some sort of vendetta against my wife...we think because we have a relationship with her father (who remarried after his wife died) and is currently suffering from a debilitating sickness that is slowly killing him while his son looks on idly because he's still mad, 6 years later I'll add, that his mother died and his father had the nerve to try to move on with his life...and had invited us"
Whoa...I got a little off topic there.
Close family/friend: minimum of $100. Increase from there, keeping in mind what their parents gave you when you got married. It's all the same cash moving around at family functions; it's a matter of whose hands it's in at the current moment.
I felt, when we got married, that anything under $100 was tacky. Like the people who gave $25. Thanks for that, but really??? Give a gift otherwise.
Or, like we did when my brother got married for the 2nd time(to a woman who was on marriage #3), give a La Crusset pot stuffed with coupons from Sonic.
Wait a minute... weren't these last two posts supposed to be under "Need a Laugh" since shoemak38 is away this weekend????
I do things (gifts here) as I like or see fit, not as expectations dictate. I have always given cash or gift cards WITH a gift - no envelope from me - and only to close friends or close family. Everyone else gets a gift. Second or more weddings - get wine. That's my input from the south.
I do things (gifts here) as I like or see fit, not as expectations dictate. I have always given cash or gift cards WITH a gift - no envelope from me - and only to close friends or close family. Everyone else gets a gift. Second or more weddings - get wine. That's my input from the south.

... no longer a stranger to paradise
- Greenskeeper
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Holy crap! You are all invited when I get married.
I have a huge family, but they are simple folks and also from hickville. I wouldn't guess that anyone would give anywhere near $100. Probably tens and twenties, depending on who it is and how many times you've been married.
I am a gift giver. I never give cash. People probably hate me.

I have a huge family, but they are simple folks and also from hickville. I wouldn't guess that anyone would give anywhere near $100. Probably tens and twenties, depending on who it is and how many times you've been married.
I am a gift giver. I never give cash. People probably hate me.

- silverheels
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Here in the NE, people tend to give a little more. Especially those Italian construction people! Some say that you factor in the cost of the meal. I tend to give gifts rather than money. Usually the bride is registered so that makes it easier. Sometimes I give what appeals to me. I've been known to give leather bound Bibles to couples that I know would appreciate them. I know one couple that probably were skeptical about the Bible at first who later told me that they really liked it and kept it in a prominent spot and enjoyed reading it.


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Here is my opinion as a wedding planner and what I tell my couples when they ask what to expect.
In New England you will not find a wedding for under $100 per person for food and booze. Yes, there are the few exceptions, but that is what most places start at.
I think that many people operate on that notion, to cover their cost, but what you eat and drink is not your true guest cost, so I don't think that is accurate.
The average price per guest for a wedding in most of CT is about $285.
Most people will not give that and it should not be expected.
I tell my couples that if they are expecting money to assume that the average amount will be $125 per couple. That takes into consideration the relatives that will give you $200 or more and the friends with no money that will give you a 50 dollar bill.
I did a wedding in April where there was one gift on the gift table, all the rest were envelopes and a wedding 2 weeks ago where we filled 2 cars worth of gifts.
I always give cash, never less than $100 and never more than $250, depending on the couple.
In New England you will not find a wedding for under $100 per person for food and booze. Yes, there are the few exceptions, but that is what most places start at.
I think that many people operate on that notion, to cover their cost, but what you eat and drink is not your true guest cost, so I don't think that is accurate.
The average price per guest for a wedding in most of CT is about $285.
Most people will not give that and it should not be expected.
I tell my couples that if they are expecting money to assume that the average amount will be $125 per couple. That takes into consideration the relatives that will give you $200 or more and the friends with no money that will give you a 50 dollar bill.
I did a wedding in April where there was one gift on the gift table, all the rest were envelopes and a wedding 2 weeks ago where we filled 2 cars worth of gifts.
I always give cash, never less than $100 and never more than $250, depending on the couple.
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- Joined: Mon Oct 30, 2006 3:03 pm
cost = $25 that just an illustration to make the math easy rightPA Girl wrote:We operate under the cover our cost plus gift. So if I think the wedding is costing $25 per pp, we would give $50 plus another $100 or more as the gift.

Thank God Im not in the wedding pahse of my social life anymore! Usually about $150
Actually, a $25 pp (for food and booze only) wedding is not unheard of where I live, which is a low cost of living area.
A "fancy" served meal with open bar at the country club is in the range of $40 to $60 pp.
A "normal" social club or banquet hall reception with a buffet and limited bar, like two types of beer on draft and select liquor (rum and cokes, whiskey sour fountain) is a $25 wedding where I live.
Weddings in my area are nothing like the blown out affairs I have attended in NJ, DC, and NY. I can easily see how $100 pp would be a starting point in a metro area.
A "fancy" served meal with open bar at the country club is in the range of $40 to $60 pp.
A "normal" social club or banquet hall reception with a buffet and limited bar, like two types of beer on draft and select liquor (rum and cokes, whiskey sour fountain) is a $25 wedding where I live.
Weddings in my area are nothing like the blown out affairs I have attended in NJ, DC, and NY. I can easily see how $100 pp would be a starting point in a metro area.