Help! I'm so sad and landing on Island on the 2nd

Robbin · Post by **Robbin** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 8:43 pm

My hubby and I were going to re-new our vows on the 1st by our best friend and pastor and he passed away Sunday. I don't know how I can even begin to enjoy this vacation. I was so looking forward to this trip and now I can't even think about going. Everything is paid so I have no choice but to go!! Any advise?

byado18 · Post by **byado18** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:02 pm

How sad for you and his family -- but you know that he would want to go forward with your life.... perhaps you can do something special as a memorial for him on island.......

May you and all who loved him find strength in your memories and know that people are sending caring and healing thoughts and prayers your way......

Shalom......

Bug · Post by **Bug** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:05 pm

Robbin:

I am so sorry for your loss.

What would your friend tell you? What would he say? You know what he would tell you because he was your friend. He will be with you in spirit. Go and have the time of your life....just as he would want you to.

XOXO
Bug

ifloat · Post by **ifloat** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:09 pm

I was sad to hear your news.

St. John is a wonderful place for healing the spirit.

Robbin · Post by **Robbin** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:09 pm

Thanks !! It will be hard, Your right he would want us to have the time of our life. That we will try to do!!!

cypressgirl · Post by **cypressgirl** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:11 pm

I know this has to be so dfficult for you. I remember years ago, my life long BFF's siser drowned in her apartment pool. She was about 27. My BFF and her husband had a trip to Eluthra bought and paid for and they decided at the last minute to go. It was hard, but they knew that's what Vicki would have insisted they do. They ended up having a great timne, in spite of their grief. I think you should go ahead with your trip as planned. Your pastor is in Good Hands and he wants you do do this.

greyhoundmom · Post by **greyhoundmom** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:13 pm

Robbin, I am so sorry for the loss of your best friend. Think about Phil Chalker, the Wayward Sailor sailboat Captain and minister. He has done many vow renewals, weddings, etc. He is a charming, down to earth guy in his late 60's. He has a wonderful outlook on life and makes you feel so good to be on his boat! We did Jost with him last summer and he was wonderful. Just a thought.....

California Girl · Post by **California Girl** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:14 pm

That's really sad, and I don't mean to sound heartless, but you can be bummed at home, or you can be bummed on St. John. I vote for St. John and it's healing properties. Maybe you can hold your own little sunset ceremony for him on Maho at sunset.

Bigcheeze · Post by **Bigcheeze** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 9:30 pm

Robbin,

We'll be down the same week and I'm sorry for your lost. Go buy Kenny Chesney's 'Lucky Old Sun' CD and track 2 sums it up...he writes " if I'm gonna be down, I'd rather be down ...way down here".

ST John is a healing place and I hope you will feel its magic ways.

Dave & Polly and kids

JJShaw · Post by **JJShaw** » Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:12 pm

I understand how you feel. We had just planned our trip about 3 weeks back and my father passed away...I hadnt even gotten chance to tell him.. But I know in my heart he would say go on and have a good time and dont worry. Its been a very stressful yr for us in one way or another and I am looking forward to having some healing time and time away from everyday things. By all means go and have a great time..Im sure your friend would have wanted it that way. I know my dad would have wanted that for me....

Cid · Post by **Cid** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 12:48 am

That's really sad. I'm sorry for your loss. The folks here are right. You'll find solace on the island and your friend will be there in spirit. Use your peaceful time there to reflect, refresh and renew as you planned. It will just be different than you planned...

samoka · Post by **samoka** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:30 am

I am so sorry to hear of your loss - use this as a reminder as to how fragile life is and how we never know when our last day is - I say go to STJ and enjoy every second - you may not get another chance - have a blast - samoka

lazylane · Post by **lazylane** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:03 am

How sad to lose your best friend and pastor. From KC's song....."If I'm going to be down, I'm going to be down way down here" I hope you decide to go on your vacation and let the sun and surf heal and refresh your spirit.

Agent99 · Post by **Agent99** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:08 am

I'm so sorry Robbin. I have an unconventional idea if you feel that it would be right for you and your beloved. No matter waht you do you'll be thinking of your dear friend. Why not contact someone like Phil Chalker, mentioned above, or another spiritual person on island who marries and or memorializes folks and combine the service into one.

Many people like us whose hearts are connected to STJ plan memorial services for their loved ones on island and some bring ashes to spread. You could customize your renewel to add a piece remembering your friend and wishing him off with love. It doesn't matter if there has already been a funeral for him at home. Nothing says you can't have your own.

When it comes to us humans and our ceremonies it seems to me there is never more love in one place then a baptism, a marriage or a memorial. Seems fitting to bring them together in your own special special way.

PSUWethr · Post by **PSUWethr** » Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:46 am

I agree with everyone else. St. John can be a good place to heal. I am very sorry for your loss. We lost a family member a few days before we were to go down for a Christmas vacation. It was very hard in the beginning but by the end of the trip I knew that she was with me in spirit.

My condolences....will be thinking of you.
Elisa

usvi-on-line

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Help! I'm so sad and landing on Island on the 2nd

Help! I'm so sad and landing on Island on the 2nd