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Need a laugh?
Re: Need a laugh?
These are great RIDDLES ..
The answers are at the bottom of the page. RIDDLE #5 is amazing. IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS!!
Think deeply now - try to bust them before you look at the answers.... take your time, you can do this!
The 5 Riddles....
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:
1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
The answers are at the bottom of the page. RIDDLE #5 is amazing. IT SHARPENS THOSE GENES IN YOUR BRAIN AND STALLS ALZHEIMER'S FOR YEARS!!
Think deeply now - try to bust them before you look at the answers.... take your time, you can do this!
The 5 Riddles....
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?
5. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is highly unusual though. Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out. Try to do so without any coaching!
THE ANSWERS TO ALL FIVE THE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:
1. The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead. That one was easy, right?
2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).
3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.
4. Sure you can name three consecutive days, yesterday, today, and tomorrow!
5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.
Re: Need a laugh?
BONUS 
for our Southerner on the island this week, so others can understand her 
1. “We’re living in high cotton.”
Cotton has long been a key crop to the South’s economy, so every harvest farmers pray for tall bushes loaded with white fluffy balls in their fields. Tall cotton bushes are easier to pick and yield higher returns. If you’re living “in high cotton,” it means you’re feeling particularly successful or wealthy.
2. “She was madder than a wet hen.”
Hens sometimes enter a phase of “broodiness” — they'll stop at nothing to incubate their eggs and get agitated when farmers try to collect them. Farmers used to dunk hens in cold water to “break” their broodiness.
You don’t want to be around a hormonal hen after she’s had an ice bath.
3. “He could eat corn through a picket fence.”
This describes someone with an unfortunate set of buck teeth. They tend to stick up and outward, like a horse’s teeth. Imagine a horse eating a carrot, and you’ll get the picture.
4. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
A pig’s ear may look soft, pink, and shiny, but you’re not fooling anyone by calling it your new Marc Jacobs bag. A Southerner might say this about her redneck cousin who likes to decorate his house with deer antlers.
5. “You look rode hard and put up wet.”
No, this isn’t Southern sexual innuendo. The phrase refers to a key step in horse grooming — when a horse runs fast, it works up a sweat, especially under the saddle. A good rider knows to walk the horse around so it can dry off before going back to the stable. A horse will look sick and tired if you forget this step, much like a person who misses sleep or drinks too much.
6. “He’s as drunk as Cooter Brown.”
Cooter Brown is an infamous character in Southern lore. Legend tells that he lived on the Mason-Dixon line — the border between the North and South — during the Civil War. To avoid the draft on either side, Cooter decided to stay drunk throughout the entire war, making him ineligible for battle.
Inebriated Southerners have measured their drunkenness by him ever since.
7. “She’s as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.”
When a pig dies, presumably in a sty outside, the sun dries out its skin. This effect pulls the pig’s lips back to reveal a toothy “grin,” making it look happy even though it’s dead. This phrase describes a person who’s blissfully ignorant of reality.
8. “She's got more nerve than Carter's got Liver Pills.”
Carters Products started as a pill-peddling company in the latter part of the 19th century. Specifically, Carters repped its “Little Liver Pills” so hard a Southern saying spawned from the omnipresent advertisements.
Alas, the Federal Trade Commission forced the drug-group to drop the “liver” portion of the ad, claiming it was deceptive. Carter's “Little Liver Pills” became Carter's “Little Pills” in 1951, but the South doesn't really pay attention to history. The phrase stuck.
9. “I'm finer than frog hair split four ways.”
Southerners mostly use this phrase to answer, “How are you?” Even those below the Mason-Dixon know frogs don't have hair, and the irony means to highlight just how dandy you feel.
The phrase reportedly originated in C. Davis’ “Diary of 1865.”
10. “He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.”
On farms (not just in the South) roosters usually crow when the sun rises. Their vociferous habit wakes up the house, signaling time to work.
An extremely cocky rooster might think the sun rises simply because he crows. Similarly, an extremely cocky man might think the same when he speaks — and also that everyone should listen to him.
11. “That's about as useful as tits on a bull.”
Only female dairy cows produce milk. Male cows are called bulls. And even if you could “milk anything with nipples,” bulls tend to be rather ornery. Good luck with that.
12. “That thing is all catawampus.”
Catawampus adj: askew, awry, cater-cornered.
Lexicographers don't really know how it evolved, though. They speculate it's a colloquial perversion of “cater-corner.” Variations include: catawampous, cattywampus, catty wonkus. The South isn't really big on details.
13. “He's got enough money to burn a wet mule.”
In 1929, then-Governor of Louisiana Huey Long, nicknamed “The Kingfish,” tried to enact a five-cent tax on each barrel of refined oil to fund welfare programs. Naturally, Standard Oil threw a hissy fit and tried to impeach him on some fairly erroneous charges (including attending a drunken party with a stripper).
But Long, a good ole' boy, fought back. He reportedly said the company had offered legislators as much as $25,000 for their votes to kick him out of office — what he called “enough money to burn a wet mule.”
We Northerners may not know what that means, but at least we know where it comes from.
Bonus: Bless Your Heart
Almost everyone knows Southern women drop this phrase constantly. But it might not mean what you think it means.
In reality, the phrase has little to do with religion and more to do with a passive-aggressive way to call you an idiot. Depending on your inflection, saying “bless your heart” can sting worse than any insult.
for our Southerner on the island this week, so others can understand her 1. “We’re living in high cotton.”
Cotton has long been a key crop to the South’s economy, so every harvest farmers pray for tall bushes loaded with white fluffy balls in their fields. Tall cotton bushes are easier to pick and yield higher returns. If you’re living “in high cotton,” it means you’re feeling particularly successful or wealthy.
2. “She was madder than a wet hen.”
Hens sometimes enter a phase of “broodiness” — they'll stop at nothing to incubate their eggs and get agitated when farmers try to collect them. Farmers used to dunk hens in cold water to “break” their broodiness.
You don’t want to be around a hormonal hen after she’s had an ice bath.
3. “He could eat corn through a picket fence.”
This describes someone with an unfortunate set of buck teeth. They tend to stick up and outward, like a horse’s teeth. Imagine a horse eating a carrot, and you’ll get the picture.
4. “You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear.”
A pig’s ear may look soft, pink, and shiny, but you’re not fooling anyone by calling it your new Marc Jacobs bag. A Southerner might say this about her redneck cousin who likes to decorate his house with deer antlers.
5. “You look rode hard and put up wet.”
No, this isn’t Southern sexual innuendo. The phrase refers to a key step in horse grooming — when a horse runs fast, it works up a sweat, especially under the saddle. A good rider knows to walk the horse around so it can dry off before going back to the stable. A horse will look sick and tired if you forget this step, much like a person who misses sleep or drinks too much.
6. “He’s as drunk as Cooter Brown.”
Cooter Brown is an infamous character in Southern lore. Legend tells that he lived on the Mason-Dixon line — the border between the North and South — during the Civil War. To avoid the draft on either side, Cooter decided to stay drunk throughout the entire war, making him ineligible for battle.
Inebriated Southerners have measured their drunkenness by him ever since.
7. “She’s as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine.”
When a pig dies, presumably in a sty outside, the sun dries out its skin. This effect pulls the pig’s lips back to reveal a toothy “grin,” making it look happy even though it’s dead. This phrase describes a person who’s blissfully ignorant of reality.
8. “She's got more nerve than Carter's got Liver Pills.”
Carters Products started as a pill-peddling company in the latter part of the 19th century. Specifically, Carters repped its “Little Liver Pills” so hard a Southern saying spawned from the omnipresent advertisements.
Alas, the Federal Trade Commission forced the drug-group to drop the “liver” portion of the ad, claiming it was deceptive. Carter's “Little Liver Pills” became Carter's “Little Pills” in 1951, but the South doesn't really pay attention to history. The phrase stuck.
9. “I'm finer than frog hair split four ways.”
Southerners mostly use this phrase to answer, “How are you?” Even those below the Mason-Dixon know frogs don't have hair, and the irony means to highlight just how dandy you feel.
The phrase reportedly originated in C. Davis’ “Diary of 1865.”
10. “He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.”
On farms (not just in the South) roosters usually crow when the sun rises. Their vociferous habit wakes up the house, signaling time to work.
An extremely cocky rooster might think the sun rises simply because he crows. Similarly, an extremely cocky man might think the same when he speaks — and also that everyone should listen to him.
11. “That's about as useful as tits on a bull.”
Only female dairy cows produce milk. Male cows are called bulls. And even if you could “milk anything with nipples,” bulls tend to be rather ornery. Good luck with that.
12. “That thing is all catawampus.”
Catawampus adj: askew, awry, cater-cornered.
Lexicographers don't really know how it evolved, though. They speculate it's a colloquial perversion of “cater-corner.” Variations include: catawampous, cattywampus, catty wonkus. The South isn't really big on details.
13. “He's got enough money to burn a wet mule.”
In 1929, then-Governor of Louisiana Huey Long, nicknamed “The Kingfish,” tried to enact a five-cent tax on each barrel of refined oil to fund welfare programs. Naturally, Standard Oil threw a hissy fit and tried to impeach him on some fairly erroneous charges (including attending a drunken party with a stripper).
But Long, a good ole' boy, fought back. He reportedly said the company had offered legislators as much as $25,000 for their votes to kick him out of office — what he called “enough money to burn a wet mule.”
We Northerners may not know what that means, but at least we know where it comes from.
Bonus: Bless Your Heart
Almost everyone knows Southern women drop this phrase constantly. But it might not mean what you think it means.
In reality, the phrase has little to do with religion and more to do with a passive-aggressive way to call you an idiot. Depending on your inflection, saying “bless your heart” can sting worse than any insult.
Need a laugh?
I'm not sure who you are picking out in this crowd 
but I met up with three lovely ladies from Virginia and their sweet Swedish friend at Trunk Bay today. We understood each other just fine!
I always felt a little strange when I heard my mother-in-law using # 5!! As always, thanks for your help and guidance, shoemake38!!
but I met up with three lovely ladies from Virginia and their sweet Swedish friend at Trunk Bay today. We understood each other just fine! I always felt a little strange when I heard my mother-in-law using # 5!! As always, thanks for your help and guidance, shoemake38!!
... no longer a stranger to paradise
Re: Need a laugh?
you mean Bless Your Heartlprof wrote:I'm not sure who you are picking out in this crowd
I always felt a little strange when I heard my mother-in-law using # 5!! As always, thanks for your help and guidance, shoemake38!!
Re: Need a laugh?
this is funny
Did you know that every 30 days it is necessary to clean the computer screen from the inside? Many people ignore this fact and do not know how. Manufacturers take advantage of this ignorance to increase their sales. My IT guy shared this and said feel free to share with my contacts this utility. To clean the screen from the inside, just click this link:
http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr// ... screen.swf
Did you know that every 30 days it is necessary to clean the computer screen from the inside? Many people ignore this fact and do not know how. Manufacturers take advantage of this ignorance to increase their sales. My IT guy shared this and said feel free to share with my contacts this utility. To clean the screen from the inside, just click this link:
http://www.formation-massage-stage.fr// ... screen.swf
Re: Need a laugh?
It's Hell to be Old
OLD people have problems that you haven't
Even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
Exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
This jar home and bring back a semen sample
Tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
At the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
Which was as clean and empty as on the
Previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man
Explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
With my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
With my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
Her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
Then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'She even called up Arleen, the lady next door
And she tried too, first with both hands, then an
Armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
Her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your
Neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get
The jar open.
OLD people have problems that you haven't
Even considered yet!
An 85-year-old man was requested by his
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
Exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
This jar home and bring back a semen sample
Tomorrow.'
The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared
At the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
Which was as clean and empty as on the
Previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man
Explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
With my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
With my left hand, but still nothing.
'Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
Her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
Then with her teeth out, still nothing.
'She even called up Arleen, the lady next door
And she tried too, first with both hands, then an
Armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
Her knees, but still nothing.'
The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your
Neighbor?'
The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get
The jar open.
Re: Need a laugh?
Age By.....Trip to Wal-Mart....
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house
mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living
room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or
paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the
outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a
stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you
realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help
complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your
hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your
favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet
some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went
to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.
Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much
else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in
the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite
cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the
register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough
to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on
different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of
Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any
of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and
do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing
running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your
hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to
get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror
and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes
you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she
sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you
remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar
and it says, "I Got Worms."
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the
dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you
were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing
hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the
register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so
you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they
have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog
crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at
you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now
you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and
wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.
Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You
went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house
mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living
room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or
paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the
outfit - shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a
stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.
Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you
realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help
complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20's:
Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your
hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes.
Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your
favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet
some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went
to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30's:
Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt.
Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much
else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in
the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite
cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the
register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a sweatshirt that is long enough
to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on
different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of
Brute Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any
of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and
do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing
running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird
thinking she is spicy.
In your 50's:
Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your
hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to
get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror
and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes
you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she
sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you
remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar
and it says, "I Got Worms."
In your 60's:
Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the
dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you
were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing
hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the
register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so
you are not sure.
In your 70's:
Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they
have your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog
crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at
you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80's:
Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now
you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and
wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for.
Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You
went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door
-
Marcia (Mrs. Pete)
- Posts: 1576
- Joined: Mon Aug 07, 2006 9:40 pm
- Location: Madison Area, Wisconsin
Re: Need a laugh?
Marcia (Mrs. Pete)
Missing St. John. As always.
Missing St. John. As always.
Re: Need a laugh?
a day early
WOMEN’S ASS SIZE STUDY
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses; the results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their ass is too fat............
10% of women think their ass is too skinny...........
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
WOMEN’S ASS SIZE STUDY
There is a new study about women and how they feel about their asses; the results were pretty interesting:
30% of women think their ass is too fat............
10% of women think their ass is too skinny...........
The remaining 60% say they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they wouldn't trade him for the world.
Re: Need a laugh?
BAD PARROT
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer.. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly,
"May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Re: Need a laugh?
In Yankee country, we call remote controls "clickers," traffic circles "rotaries," and subs "grinders." Mainers tack unnecessary "r"s onto words, like idear, while Bostonians drop 'em all together. It's wicked weeeahd.
And don't even try pronouncing Worcester if you're "from away."
Inspired by Business Insider's recent lists of Southern slang and Midwestern expressions the rest of America doesn't understand, here are 13 New England sayings that will inspire you to visit Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut*, and Rhode Island.
Settle in with a cup of Dunk's and enjoy.
1. "Wicked."
A dead giveaway that you're talking to a New Englander, "wicked" is a general intensifier often followed by "pissah," to mean superb.
Given the Puritan past of New England, the term emerged as a pseudo-curse word during the Salem Witch Trials; although it's also said to originate in Maine. In the last 20 to 30 years, the region adopted it as an affectionate nod to the past.
2. "Bang a uey."
Whether you're cruising the Pike or navigating a parking lot at one of tax-free New Hampshire's outlet malls, to "bang a uey" (pronounced yoo-ee) is far from being a suggestive slur. "Bang" is to turn and "uey" is short for for U-turn, so this basically is just a directive to turn the car around.
3. "Frappe."
The milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard is the frappe (pronounced with a silent "e"). It's an ultra-thick blend of milk, flavored syrup, and any flavor of ice cream available. If you order a milkshake in New England, you'll likely get a soupier concoction of just milk and syrup.
The frappe, often called a "cabinet" in Rhode Island, worked its way into the national vocabulary when in 1994, Starbucks bought the rights to the name "Frappuccino."
4. "Ayuh!"
If a Mainer asks if you read Stephen King's new book, you can assure him, "ayuh!" The informal affirmative, meaning "yes," possibly derived from the nautical "aye." It's mostly associated with the old-fashioned Down East accent, which is still heard in Eastern Maine but is pretty scarce among people under age 40.
5. "Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd."
Do so and you're likely to get towed — "Park the car in Harvard Yard" is an old saw used to ridicule the way Bostonians talk. The traditional, John F. Kennedy-famous accent has broad "a"s and is non-rhotic, meaning the "r" sound drops when it precedes other consonants (smart becomes "smaht"), and other times just for fun (chowder becomes "chowdah").
The phrase doesn't make much sense — most of Harvard's historic 22-acre yard is off-limits to vehicles — but it does make five "r"s magically disappear.
6. "That Masshole just cut me off!"
The "Masshole" takes pride in his aggressive and illegal driving habits. The King of Road Rage, he drifts between lanes with reckless abandon, tailgates hard, is too cool to use turn signals, and has demonstrated an inability to yield, merge, observe road signs and speed limits, and function like a human being behind the wheel of a car.
7. "Just because a cat has her kittens in the oven don't make them biscuits."
This odd little analogy heard throughout Vermont and Maine emphasizes the value they place on native status. If you were born in New England, but your parents are originally from out-of-state, you can fuhggedabout claiming to be a true New Englander. Harsh.
One might also say someone is "from away," indicating he isn't a native of Maine.
8. "Now that's a New York System hot wiener!"
A staple of Rhode Island's foodie tradition, these wieners — never "hot dogs" — caught on in the early 1900's and were named to invoke a sense of Coney Island-authenticity. The New York System hot wiener ordered "all the way" is cut short, about four inches long, cooked slowly on a low-heat griddle all day, and topped with mustard, raw chopped onions, celery salt, and a greasy ground-beef sauce.
Wash it down with a bottle of coffee milk, a combination of sweet coffee syrup and milk that is Little Rhody's official state drink.
9. "Make a packie run."
Before the Sox game starts, stock up on some Sam Adams at the package store — "packie" for short, also known as a liquor store. The term is a relic of post-Prohibition days, when purists still didn't care to associate with the likes of boozy-sounding words. "Package" most likely references the plain paper bag you get at checkout.
10. "You can't get there from here."
Before it was a R.E.M. song, this colloquialism served as a tongue-in-cheek response to travelers asking for difficult directions.
It seems like nonsense today, but in Maine during the era of settlement, with few roads, fewer bridges, and tough terrain, many people on the move would often find themselves in sight of their destinations but with no way to get there.
11. "Have a Hoodsie Cup."
A Hoodsie Cup is a small waxed-paper cup filled with half chocolate, half vanilla ice cream, and tastes of frozen whipped cream and nostalgia. Every elementary school child received a red polka-dotted cup with a flat wooden spoon on Ice Cream Days and in-school holidays.
Produced by Massachusetts-based dairy company Hood, Hoodsies launched in 1947 and is still available at Walmart and limited grocery stores in the Northeast.
12. "The kid's got moxie."
Moxie describes someone with vigor, stamina, and guts — a neologism inspired by the official soft drink of Maine. Dr. Augustine Thompson, a Union native, first patented Moxie in 1876 as a medicinal drink that strengthens the nerves and cures "loss of manliness."
The bitter beverage was later rebranded to take advantage of the rapidly growing soft drink market, and by World War II, people were saying, "What this country needs is plenty of Moxie."
13. "Live free or die."
New Hampshire doesn't mess around with freedom. When an illness forced General John Stark, the state's most distinguished Revolutionary War hero, to decline an invitation to the 32nd anniversary reunion of an important battle, he instead sent a written toast to his wartime comrades. It read, "Live Free Or Die; Death Is Not The Worst of Evils."
More than a century later, the 1945 Legislature adopted it as the official state motto. It remains the ballsiest motto of the 50 states.
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Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/new-engl ... z2mXqRl14N
And don't even try pronouncing Worcester if you're "from away."
Inspired by Business Insider's recent lists of Southern slang and Midwestern expressions the rest of America doesn't understand, here are 13 New England sayings that will inspire you to visit Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut*, and Rhode Island.
Settle in with a cup of Dunk's and enjoy.
1. "Wicked."
A dead giveaway that you're talking to a New Englander, "wicked" is a general intensifier often followed by "pissah," to mean superb.
Given the Puritan past of New England, the term emerged as a pseudo-curse word during the Salem Witch Trials; although it's also said to originate in Maine. In the last 20 to 30 years, the region adopted it as an affectionate nod to the past.
2. "Bang a uey."
Whether you're cruising the Pike or navigating a parking lot at one of tax-free New Hampshire's outlet malls, to "bang a uey" (pronounced yoo-ee) is far from being a suggestive slur. "Bang" is to turn and "uey" is short for for U-turn, so this basically is just a directive to turn the car around.
3. "Frappe."
The milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard is the frappe (pronounced with a silent "e"). It's an ultra-thick blend of milk, flavored syrup, and any flavor of ice cream available. If you order a milkshake in New England, you'll likely get a soupier concoction of just milk and syrup.
The frappe, often called a "cabinet" in Rhode Island, worked its way into the national vocabulary when in 1994, Starbucks bought the rights to the name "Frappuccino."
4. "Ayuh!"
If a Mainer asks if you read Stephen King's new book, you can assure him, "ayuh!" The informal affirmative, meaning "yes," possibly derived from the nautical "aye." It's mostly associated with the old-fashioned Down East accent, which is still heard in Eastern Maine but is pretty scarce among people under age 40.
5. "Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd."
Do so and you're likely to get towed — "Park the car in Harvard Yard" is an old saw used to ridicule the way Bostonians talk. The traditional, John F. Kennedy-famous accent has broad "a"s and is non-rhotic, meaning the "r" sound drops when it precedes other consonants (smart becomes "smaht"), and other times just for fun (chowder becomes "chowdah").
The phrase doesn't make much sense — most of Harvard's historic 22-acre yard is off-limits to vehicles — but it does make five "r"s magically disappear.
6. "That Masshole just cut me off!"
The "Masshole" takes pride in his aggressive and illegal driving habits. The King of Road Rage, he drifts between lanes with reckless abandon, tailgates hard, is too cool to use turn signals, and has demonstrated an inability to yield, merge, observe road signs and speed limits, and function like a human being behind the wheel of a car.
7. "Just because a cat has her kittens in the oven don't make them biscuits."
This odd little analogy heard throughout Vermont and Maine emphasizes the value they place on native status. If you were born in New England, but your parents are originally from out-of-state, you can fuhggedabout claiming to be a true New Englander. Harsh.
One might also say someone is "from away," indicating he isn't a native of Maine.
8. "Now that's a New York System hot wiener!"
A staple of Rhode Island's foodie tradition, these wieners — never "hot dogs" — caught on in the early 1900's and were named to invoke a sense of Coney Island-authenticity. The New York System hot wiener ordered "all the way" is cut short, about four inches long, cooked slowly on a low-heat griddle all day, and topped with mustard, raw chopped onions, celery salt, and a greasy ground-beef sauce.
Wash it down with a bottle of coffee milk, a combination of sweet coffee syrup and milk that is Little Rhody's official state drink.
9. "Make a packie run."
Before the Sox game starts, stock up on some Sam Adams at the package store — "packie" for short, also known as a liquor store. The term is a relic of post-Prohibition days, when purists still didn't care to associate with the likes of boozy-sounding words. "Package" most likely references the plain paper bag you get at checkout.
10. "You can't get there from here."
Before it was a R.E.M. song, this colloquialism served as a tongue-in-cheek response to travelers asking for difficult directions.
It seems like nonsense today, but in Maine during the era of settlement, with few roads, fewer bridges, and tough terrain, many people on the move would often find themselves in sight of their destinations but with no way to get there.
11. "Have a Hoodsie Cup."
A Hoodsie Cup is a small waxed-paper cup filled with half chocolate, half vanilla ice cream, and tastes of frozen whipped cream and nostalgia. Every elementary school child received a red polka-dotted cup with a flat wooden spoon on Ice Cream Days and in-school holidays.
Produced by Massachusetts-based dairy company Hood, Hoodsies launched in 1947 and is still available at Walmart and limited grocery stores in the Northeast.
12. "The kid's got moxie."
Moxie describes someone with vigor, stamina, and guts — a neologism inspired by the official soft drink of Maine. Dr. Augustine Thompson, a Union native, first patented Moxie in 1876 as a medicinal drink that strengthens the nerves and cures "loss of manliness."
The bitter beverage was later rebranded to take advantage of the rapidly growing soft drink market, and by World War II, people were saying, "What this country needs is plenty of Moxie."
13. "Live free or die."
New Hampshire doesn't mess around with freedom. When an illness forced General John Stark, the state's most distinguished Revolutionary War hero, to decline an invitation to the 32nd anniversary reunion of an important battle, he instead sent a written toast to his wartime comrades. It read, "Live Free Or Die; Death Is Not The Worst of Evils."
More than a century later, the 1945 Legislature adopted it as the official state motto. It remains the ballsiest motto of the 50 states.
this is source:
Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/new-engl ... z2mXqRl14N