usvi-on-line
Feeling guilty, don't want to take kids or hubby
I have been married 33 years 
and my husband is my best friend BUT I really enjoy travelling with my girlfriends. I have been lucky enough to take a couple of trips with my gfs and they were a blast - totally different from our family trips with the whole gang - but I love both types of trips. what I really want to try is a trip by myself - not sure if I can pull it off but it seems like it would be very enjoyable.
and my husband is my best friend BUT I really enjoy travelling with my girlfriends. I have been lucky enough to take a couple of trips with my gfs and they were a blast - totally different from our family trips with the whole gang - but I love both types of trips. what I really want to try is a trip by myself - not sure if I can pull it off but it seems like it would be very enjoyable.
I wouldn't travel anywhere without my partner, its too difficult to be apart and especially too difficult to enjoy myself without her around. I would also worry non-stop about her if she went somewhere without me, even if she is with family.
As for the mitigating element of kids, I do not agree that parents deserve down time and no responsibility. Certainly as humans we crave it, but our children were 18-24 year old commitments that were made with the advanced knowledge that you are sacrificing late night drinking, at the minimum.
I won't go on any trips without my significant other and the rest of my responsibilities, including my laptop in case there is a meltdown at work while I'm gone and they need me to login from Tap Room and fix things.
As for the mitigating element of kids, I do not agree that parents deserve down time and no responsibility. Certainly as humans we crave it, but our children were 18-24 year old commitments that were made with the advanced knowledge that you are sacrificing late night drinking, at the minimum.
I won't go on any trips without my significant other and the rest of my responsibilities, including my laptop in case there is a meltdown at work while I'm gone and they need me to login from Tap Room and fix things.
I have an incredible husband who is supportive and pushes me to do the things I love independent of the family unit, and I try to do the same for him. He and I have had many great kid-free experiences together and solo. We each take a weekend annually to go on a girl or guys only trip. He will be going soon on a 10 day trip to New Zealand and I will take a trip to Europe without him this summer. These two longer trips were not intended or planned but an opportunity came up that was just too good for us to pass up. Neither of us feels the least bit of guilt or reluctance. Of course, I will miss him and he will miss me and it will be tough to be a single parent for 10 days but we find we just appreciate each other all the more in the end.
The best thing I can do in the world for my kids and husband is to be healthy, happy, whole and relaxed. He gets that. He has understood that from the day we came home with an infant. I consider myself lucky and I also think I chose wisely. He is what allows me to be the best mom and wife possible. That selflessness and understanding is the greatest gift in the world. This is why when it comes to anniversaries or mother's day and I try to think of what I want, I can't think of a single thing. I have it.
Life is about balance, not all or nothing. I don't want to wake up in 20 years and realize my husband and I have nothing that binds us together but two amazing kids.
The best thing I can do in the world for my kids and husband is to be healthy, happy, whole and relaxed. He gets that. He has understood that from the day we came home with an infant. I consider myself lucky and I also think I chose wisely. He is what allows me to be the best mom and wife possible. That selflessness and understanding is the greatest gift in the world. This is why when it comes to anniversaries or mother's day and I try to think of what I want, I can't think of a single thing. I have it.
Life is about balance, not all or nothing. I don't want to wake up in 20 years and realize my husband and I have nothing that binds us together but two amazing kids.
- I am sooo glad I am not that important - We were only married 3 months when I went overnight without my husband - we have always done this and we are still crazy in love - to me each person should have their own personality and life experiences to "bring to the table" - to share equally in the relationship - and just because I go on vacation without my children doesn't mean I am drinking all night - in fact I drink less when I travelLarry wrote:I wouldn't travel anywhere without my partner, its too difficult to be apart and especially too difficult to enjoy myself without her around. I would also worry non-stop about her if she went somewhere without me, even if she is with family.
As for the mitigating element of kids, I do not agree that parents deserve down time and no responsibility. Certainly as humans we crave it, but our children were 18-24 year old commitments that were made with the advanced knowledge that you are sacrificing late night drinking, at the minimum.
I won't go on any trips without my significant other and the rest of my responsibilities, including my laptop in case there is a meltdown at work while I'm gone and they need me to login from Tap Room and fix things.
el without my children than when I travel with them- of course they are all adults now 
- the best thing about America is we all get to have our opinion on what is RIGHT!I am not an arugmentitve person nor have I ever participated in any "online" bickering, but I have to say Larry you are way off track.
My husband has taken several trips without me, it does not mean he doesn't love me or the children, it doesn't mean he is going to escape the responsiblity of being a parent, all that it means he is going on a trip without us. Now I have the opportunity to do the same and why shouldn't a parent/mother/wife be able to do that.
To each his own and let us remember on to pass judgment
My husband has taken several trips without me, it does not mean he doesn't love me or the children, it doesn't mean he is going to escape the responsiblity of being a parent, all that it means he is going on a trip without us. Now I have the opportunity to do the same and why shouldn't a parent/mother/wife be able to do that.
To each his own and let us remember on to pass judgment
feeling guilty
Our first visit to St John was in 09. It was me, my hubby, and a friend couple of ours. We were gone 10 days. I have to say though that my hubby didn’t enjoy it quite as much as I did. No he isn’t crazy----well, that’s still open for debate. Regardless, our guys are motorcycle riders so they just could NOT fathom how they could ride motorcycles on St John. Especially their big bikes. Plus, my hubby isn’t exactly a fish. After about an hour and a half snorkeling, he’s waterlogged and done. Me, on the other hand, can stay out dusk till dawn. He loved the island, don’t get me wrong. We had the best times of our lives on that island. Us girls cried as we made our walk of woe to the ferry on the last day. We even suggested us staying behind another week-----well that went over like a lead balloon. But I must say that the looks on the boy’s faces was priceless!
SOOOOO, this year I will be taking my 15 year old son who has been in the water since he was 6 months old and can keep up with his old mom in the water. I was a single mom for 11 years to 2 boys and I can tell you “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy”. Go with the girls. I missed my kids terribly when we went because it had been the first time I had been away from them-EVER. Yet alone that far. I talked to them probably twice a day. Maybe you can work out a skype or something? I think you should go and do it guilt free. Moms need time for themselves, bubble baths just don’t cut it anymore when raising a family in today’s society. It’s the hardest job in the world and you should be rewarded for your hard work. I love my kids and my hubby to death, but my stepdaughter and I are already talking about a “girls trip” in 2013 when she gets a little older. I think as moms we are told from a young age that your kids, your home, your husband should always come first. And I agree with that. I can tell you though, if you don’t take care of yourself emotionally, the rest doesn’t matter. Moms need a break. Go with the girls, have a great time and skype your butt off if you need to. Just my humble 2 cents worth.
Bre
SOOOOO, this year I will be taking my 15 year old son who has been in the water since he was 6 months old and can keep up with his old mom in the water. I was a single mom for 11 years to 2 boys and I can tell you “if momma ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy”. Go with the girls. I missed my kids terribly when we went because it had been the first time I had been away from them-EVER. Yet alone that far. I talked to them probably twice a day. Maybe you can work out a skype or something? I think you should go and do it guilt free. Moms need time for themselves, bubble baths just don’t cut it anymore when raising a family in today’s society. It’s the hardest job in the world and you should be rewarded for your hard work. I love my kids and my hubby to death, but my stepdaughter and I are already talking about a “girls trip” in 2013 when she gets a little older. I think as moms we are told from a young age that your kids, your home, your husband should always come first. And I agree with that. I can tell you though, if you don’t take care of yourself emotionally, the rest doesn’t matter. Moms need a break. Go with the girls, have a great time and skype your butt off if you need to. Just my humble 2 cents worth.
Bre
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Greenskeeper
- Posts: 390
- Joined: Sat Mar 08, 2008 2:07 pm
- Location: Cape Cod, MA
WOW, lots of opinions. If you really want to go without them GO! You might feel guilty but how will you feel if you deny yourself this opportunity? Will you be resentful?
You have to listen to your inner voice. It sounds to me like yours is telling you you need this. Go and enjoy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. To be a good mom and wife, you need to be happy and to give that much of yourself, you have to do something for yourself.
You have to listen to your inner voice. It sounds to me like yours is telling you you need this. Go and enjoy. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. To be a good mom and wife, you need to be happy and to give that much of yourself, you have to do something for yourself.
Geaux for it
I encourage my wife to do things with her GF so that I won't feel guilty when it's my turn to do things with the guys. No spouse and kids yeah!
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cypressgirl
- Posts: 2178
- Joined: Tue Dec 26, 2006 2:42 pm
- Location: houston
9 ladies and I are going on our 5th anniversary of SOTB. (It used to be Six on the Beach), but we have grown. 
No husbands and kids allowed. I just got back from a week on STJ with my oldest daughter (23) and her friend. Left hubby home. Guilt? What is that?! 
I give 150% to my family and home, so my husband is more than happy for me to go and enjoy myself. I enjoy other long weekends throughout the year with college girlfriends and other friends. It's good to have girl time. Men just don't laugh at the same silly stuff us girls do.
No husbands and kids allowed. I just got back from a week on STJ with my oldest daughter (23) and her friend. Left hubby home. Guilt? What is that?! I give 150% to my family and home, so my husband is more than happy for me to go and enjoy myself. I enjoy other long weekends throughout the year with college girlfriends and other friends. It's good to have girl time. Men just don't laugh at the same silly stuff us girls do.