We're buying a house!

[mindehankins]

Yes, I thought it was kind of a "d*ck move" on their part, to not only just say "no, no help with closing" but to increase their price by $2500 just for asking.

We offered their original counter offer and said take it or leave it.

We'll see. It IS a great house. It was built by a well known local contractor, to raise his family in. The quality shows, throughout. I know so much about the house and the grandkids that loved the builder and his wife. We're happy to pay a fair price but aren't going to do business with a d*ck.

(Yes, I'm pretty perturbed. I'm normally a chill, kind person.)

[Greenskeeper]

Let me tell a little story about how we bought our house...it's a bit whacky but true.

I worked with a guy in Virginia who I considered a technical genius and I respected his opinion he told me that what he did was picked out ~6 houses that he "was Ok with" then slashed the prices by 20-40% then gave his realtor the list and told her/him to go down the list one by one....make the offer, give them 24 hours to respond/accept and then after that the offer is no longer valid...move onto the next. This was his method to take advantage of people who need to sell and can "eat" some cost...it is a bit shrewd but effective.


It takes a certain kind of person to do this....

WOW, having been on the receiving end of one of those offers, I can tell you, it stinks.

We sold our house 18 months ago. PRISTINE 200 year old home, totally upgraded with amenities that you would dream about with the charm of restored original fireplaces,wainscoting and wide pine floors throughout. It hadn't even officially gone on the market and someone saw it online and asked to see it. We were at 3 days after signing with the RE agent this guy decides he wants it. Makes us a low ball offer claiming the roof needs to be torn off ( he claimed he had "a guy" look at it with him). I got a structural engineer in, got all the paperwork needed to prove that the roof was as in good condition as the rest of the house and told the buyer "make me another offer or walk". He came back with a more reasonable offer and since we had a great deal riding on the other end we took it.

Long story short, the house we sold is now worth 30K less than what what we sold it for and our new house is worth 100K more than we paid.

Karma is a beatch.

[chicagoans]

Greenskeeper you seem kind of mad at the guy who bought your house (or at least happy that it's worth less.) Maybe someone he trusted really did tell him the roof needed replacing. As the seller you have the choice of saying no and waiting for another offer, or accepting an offer if you think it's fair. You made your choice and sure it took some extra work, but you got a more reasonable offer just a short time after listing. The house is now worth $30k less, so what you got at the time you got it seems fair. (BTW it sounds like a great house!)

I think Sherban's approach makes sense. The sellers can always say no or counter offer, and the buyers can decide if they want to raise their offer or keep looking.

The hard part of course is that buying and selling a house is so emotional; it's hard to treat it as a business transaction. Sherban's approach avoids paying more based on emotion.

[mbw1024]

question for Sherban .. are you saying you and/or your friend did this without ever personally walking through a house?

[Greenskeeper]

Greenskeeper you seem kind of mad at the guy who bought your house (or at least happy that it's worth less.) Maybe someone he trusted really did tell him the roof needed replacing. As the seller you have the choice of saying no and waiting for another offer, or accepting an offer if you think it's fair. You made your choice and sure it took some extra work, but you got a more reasonable offer just a short time after listing. The house is now worth $30k less, so what you got at the time you got it seems fair. (BTW it sounds like a great house!)

I think Sherban's approach makes sense. The sellers can always say no or counter offer, and the buyers can decide if they want to raise their offer or keep looking.

The hard part of course is that buying and selling a house is so emotional; it's hard to treat it as a business transaction. Sherban's approach avoids paying more based on emotion.

Nope, not mad at the guy at all. At the time, though, I was pretty PO'd. As I said "long story short" and left out some details. As a business owner, I treat people a certain way. I am willing to negotiate terms but there are certain civilities that must be maintained in any business transaction. Sooooo from that beginning to this end: We never even met the buyer as he opted not to attend the closing that a family member (a paralegal who handled it) arranged for us 70 miles away from the house, that we drove through rush hour traffic to get to.

We did not entertain his original offer and told him if he wanted the house, he needed to rethink the offer. He did just that. Seems he wanted the house and the lowball was a tactic. After that, he decided to just yank our chain and the paralegal made senseless calls to my attorney (who I ultimately instructed NOT to talk to them anymore after they had cost me over $1,200 for phone calls) for things that the Real Estate Agent traditionally handled.

Like it or not, there is an emotional component when buying and selling real estate. You KNOW when you walk into some houses that there is a sense of pride.


Conversely,the home we bought was a distressed sale. It was a business venture gone bad and the seller was losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. We could have low balled but did not. It would have added insult to injury. Our lawyer told us to wait for a short sale but we did not want to do that. We were comfortable that the house was below assessed value and we were poised to get a great deal, on a great house in a fabulous location. We were honest that we wanted the house, took the advice of our RE Agent and made the offer- in the midst of a bidding war. The seller, took the chance that the sale of our home was going to go through rather than taking the offer of someone who had done the lowball and negotiated up to close to what we offered.

I'm not happy that the guy who bought our house is upside down so much as satisfied that maybe he is seeing that it isn't always about dollars and cents. I guess if you are buying a dwelling, and really don't care where you end up - as in the case of the guy who picked 6, it's understandable to do things that way. But buying and selling a HOME is different.

[mindehankins]

For me, buying a house is an emotional thing, especially since our intent is to finally put down some roots together. Selling this particular house was an emotional issue for the family selling it because it was the family homestead. They priced it emotionally and it sat unsold for two years for that reason. I really believe our offer was fair. They'd been offered it 3 times prior, and turned it down, but the family was really scrambling to pay the taxes and keep the heat, etc, on, in the house.
Their family attorney finally intervened, and we agreed to a price that is more than our bid and less than their counter-offer, and we're happy with it. It really is a treasure of a house, and we're now praying that everything goes okay and we close and get to live in this home with wonderful family vibes in it!
It's so neat to know all the "secrets" of the house we're hoping to buy. Like "why are there stairs built down from the backyard, to the neighbors backyard?" Cause nana was best friends with those people! Where is the secret compartment built for papa to hide his plans? (I'm not telling). "Why is there a little blackboard behind x door?" All the grandkids kept track of who was at the house when...those sorts of things. We'll keep the love alive in this house

[lprof]

Congratulations Minde and Blaine - wishing your family many happy house stories in a continuing tradition there.

[loria]

it's such a huge investment in so many ways it's bound to be emotional on both ends-- we've been thru the ringer on both ends as well.
Minde, I REALLY hope this works out for you guys--it sounds like the house would have GREAT inhabitants.
now, our story....or one of them. when i was expecting our 2nd we decided to leave the big silly and move to the Burbs or he country...we looked an looked --if you know NY we looked ALL over westchester and all over Longisland--couldn't fnd anything that we liked and could afford....and the realtors were damed condescending with their starter home babble--dammit, I am not an investment banker this isn't my starter home, it;s my home for the long run-okay, realtor rant aside....we found a great HUGE two family stucco house in Pelham--it was 3000 sq feet EACH side--the street it was on was busy but it also had enough property for a huge yard and a buildable lot that was already zoned in (so if we wanted to we could build a spec or sell the property)--it was WAY over our budget, but with the rental income we could have swung it easily and I may have even been able to stay home with the kids. we made an offer (i think it was 500K--i was stunned...and they accepted the offer)
we paid for an inspection (500-600 bucks, if i remember) and at the time i worked for the NYCDOH and directed environmental and occupational health--so I asked to borrow and XRF machine (these are used to detect lead paint) and damn..this house was COVERED ..friction surfaces (the things like window sash, door jambs, etc) just were chock full of lead as was the exterior--
mind you I am pregnant and have a toddler--and NY has LAWS about rent discrimination (so I couldn't turn away a family just because they had young kids and would be in serious deep water if a child was in that unit and developed lead poisoning....
an abatement of the lead paint would be about 20-25k. so we asked the sellers attorney to meet us in the middle somewhere and deduct 15K from the price due to this new development (since an abatement would take a while and we'd have to find elsewhere to live since we had SOLD our place in said big silly)
Well no dice, we're out atty fees, inspection fees, fee's for drawing up the lot , and guess what....the realtor buys the place--uses our inspection report and our plans and all this crap. i really felt hard done by. but whatever.
we found a GREAT home on a deadend street that backs up onto a park and conservation land in a community that i liked much better for less money--and because these guys had a deal fall thru over their silly dealings they spring for the sprinkler system that was needed in the house (they put in an illegal bedroom on the third floor so had no C of O--and their prior deal for more money got sunk when they said they wouldn't put it in)

(andin the meantime we had to lower our price of our co-op since the kids who wanted to buy it didn't qualify for the mortgage they would need...but it's all cool)


keep us posted Minde!

[Greenskeeper]

For me, buying a house is an emotional thing, especially since our intent is to finally put down some roots together. Selling this particular house was an emotional issue for the family selling it because it was the family homestead. They priced it emotionally and it sat unsold for two years for that reason. I really believe our offer was fair. They'd been offered it 3 times prior, and turned it down, but the family was really scrambling to pay the taxes and keep the heat, etc, on, in the house.
Their family attorney finally intervened, and we agreed to a price that is more than our bid and less than their counter-offer, and we're happy with it. It really is a treasure of a house, and we're now praying that everything goes okay and we close and get to live in this home with wonderful family vibes in it!
It's so neat to know all the "secrets" of the house we're hoping to buy. Like "why are there stairs built down from the backyard, to the neighbors backyard?" Cause nana was best friends with those people! Where is the secret compartment built for papa to hide his plans? (I'm not telling). "Why is there a little blackboard behind x door?" All the grandkids kept track of who was at the house when...those sorts of things. We'll keep the love alive in this house

That's great Minde! A house has a life of it's own and especially one that was such a source of joy for a family. It sounds like you will continue that and make this house a new home. I'm sure your interest in the history of the house made the family very happy. They were selling their HOME and you assured them you would take care of it. I know it's corny but to some people, (like me) that's important. Congratulations and good health and happiness in your new home.

[tipsy]

Best of luck to you both ! It's such a huge decision and a very long lasting one. Sounds like the house was well loved & lived in, that counts for alot. The stories that go along with it are good and will bring you happiness too I think.

The best would be if, can have it both ways, the house & STJ this year. Thats what I'll hope for you.

[chicagoans]

Greens - now that I've heard more of the story I can see your frustration! Bargaining – yes. Purposely being an ass – no!

Yes, buying a home is emotional unless you can do Sherban's method. I think it would be good for someone like me because I get emotionally attached and therefore susceptible to being taken advantage of. When I bought my city condo (I was single) I had kind of a wimpy RE agent who didn't bargain for me, and I fell for a loft I really loved. I think they knew they 'had me.' I paid the price when I sold it, because I didn't make much profit despite some nice upgrades. (But at least for 2 years my money went toward mortgage, not rent, and I did get a break on taxes.)

When DH and I bought our home in the suburbs it was really hard to find a house that we liked, in walking distance to school and train, and could also afford. (We looked at dozens; saw 12 in just one day!) Luckily that RE agent is a friend and was really patient until we found a house we loved and could afford. Our home purchase could have been a disaster because the seller wouldn’t take an offer contingent on selling our city condo. But my emotions prevailed so we bought the house, and luckily sold the condo just a few weeks later. But if it had taken several months to sell the condo, things would have been really tight.

I think I’m drawn to Sherban’s method because our house purchase was exceptionally emotional. I was kind of freaked about leaving the city life; distressed that it was so hard to find a house in a location we loved but could afford, and had a miscarriage the day before closing! I was a mess.

BUT… 2 kids and almost 15 years later… we LOVE our house and neighborhood and are so grateful for our wonderful neighbors and schools. All that emotion was worth it, I guess!

[Greenskeeper]

Greens - now that I've heard more of the story I can see your frustration! Bargaining – yes. Purposely being an ass – no!

Yes, buying a home is emotional unless you can do Sherban's method. I think it would be good for someone like me because I get emotionally attached and therefore susceptible to being taken advantage of. When I bought my city condo (I was single) I had kind of a wimpy RE agent who didn't bargain for me, and I fell for a loft I really loved. I think they knew they 'had me.' I paid the price when I sold it, because I didn't make much profit despite some nice upgrades. (But at least for 2 years my money went toward mortgage, not rent, and I did get a break on taxes.)

When DH and I bought our home in the suburbs it was really hard to find a house that we liked, in walking distance to school and train, and could also afford. (We looked at dozens; saw 12 in just one day!) Luckily that RE agent is a friend and was really patient until we found a house we loved and could afford. Our home purchase could have been a disaster because the seller wouldn’t take an offer contingent on selling our city condo. But my emotions prevailed so we bought the house, and luckily sold the condo just a few weeks later. But if it had taken several months to sell the condo, things would have been really tight.

I think I’m drawn to Sherban’s method because our house purchase was exceptionally emotional. I was kind of freaked about leaving the city life; distressed that it was so hard to find a house in a location we loved but could afford, and had a miscarriage the day before closing! I was a mess.

BUT… 2 kids and almost 15 years later… we LOVE our house and neighborhood and are so grateful for our wonderful neighbors and schools. All that emotion was worth it, I guess!

I'm glad it worked out for you in the end. Kids definitely make it "real" and if you LOVE your house now, then you know it was the right decision. Emotional pain and all. Every time we looked at houses, we went to our favorite beach front restaurant in the town we bought out house in, had a libation and realized, if we could do this anytime we got stressed out, we would make it through the process. A vodka drink is waaay cheaper than therapy. LOL

[waterguy]

I remember when I had my first one built I was 23 and single. I couldn't sleep for the whole time I never knew you had to pick out plaster finishes boy what looked good on a 2' by 2' sample sure looked different done in a whole room. Learned alot keep telling my 22 year old I was only a year older and had a house hoping he will move out.LOL

[sherban]

question for Sherban .. are you saying you and/or your friend did this without ever personally walking through a house?

No. I don't remember the details of what Al did but I am pretty sure he went through all his houses first.

When we came to South Carolina I sold my wife on the idea first so then we jointly picked out the top three from ~15 we looked at and made our deal with the realtor. It all depends on local market conditions (of course)...here in SC houses were a commodity then (and still are) so we figured flexibility leads to saving$. As I said we were not super aggresive on our reductions/offers but we were clear on the offer conditions and it did separate us from the buyers who "fall in love"...

[Lovermont]

We did the "lite version" of that when we moved to SC, picked out three houses, set our price and told the realtor...."24 hours each....don't call me until you have a sale" well we weren't too aggressive on price but we did get the price we wanted with no BS.

One of the good things about this is that it lets the realtor know you are not planning to fall in love with a house (that's when they know they have you by the ....)!
It takes a certain kind of person to do this....

Wow... I like the methodology, but I don't think I could execute it. I'm impressed.

Lovermont