5922 text messages

[djmom]

Thanks for your concerns Greenskeeper. Yes, I am all over this but other than being really annoyed/exasperated (and humored at the same time), I am not extremely concerned. She still hangs out with the same friends, she has just pulled these new girls into that group. So really overall the friend part is a good thing.

And she has changed her look a LOT, but she was really wearing junky clothes before and didn't care about her appearance, so she is just catching up-quickly. She looks great now, just more grown up.

I also have read a lot of her text messages and I read her facebook page (and her friend's) almost every day.

This is a typical text exchange:

HA

Ha ha

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH

LOL



What cha doin?

IDK (I don't know)

hee

tee hee


So.....this goes on and on. You can rack up a lot of texts quickly that way.

I am NOT saying this is a great way to spend your time, but it is pretty innocent. Just stupid.

She refuses to talk about anyone behind their back (which I think is great) so there is none of that. And she isn't texting boys much, except when she was "going out" with the other boy. So the group of people she texts is small.

But I totally get where you are going. I am a Girl Scout leader so I know all about this stuff. There are some really troubled kids out there...and some good kids that make really bad choices. Hopefully since she knows I am watching she will stay in line, at least for a while.

And I am going to rein in this texting a bit.

[loria]

JmQ-
Good article and huge concern of mine.
Needless to say there will be lots of 'splaining to do when she gets home today.

Good for you, sounds like "hammertime". Along with the article and the pitfalls mentioned there, I hope you don't mind a piece of advice. I read your first comments a while back and there are some "flags". Too many years of dealing with young women who were finding their way in the middle school years make me take pause. It could be your daughter has just had this burst of confidence and has found her place but....the change in friends, the change in behaviors and now the techno-overload with the phone and IMing etc...keep an eye on things. That is a BIG number- especially knowing that they are in school and/or activities for so many hours in the day, bed and then family time (maybe there was a school vacation week which would give some leeway). When does a kid have that much time to text along with IMing, Facebook etc? Do you read her texts or know what she is texting about? It's important to remember that a teenage mind is not wired to work instantaneously like a computer. They naturally lack the forethought of consequences and as such, will often "say" things or "send" things that they might not say in person. This apparent loss of inhibition does not always represent that child for who they really are. It's just easy to be bold when you are behind a screen.

grenskeeper---sage words--I always tell my kids that whatever they put out there in cyberspace can be found---but I think they shrug a lot of that off

[djmom]

She and I went to an internet safety workshop a while ago. The police officer leading it showed how based on one My Space post and some other seemingly innocent information, it was possible for someone to track down the home address and school of a kid in less than 3 minutes.

That made a big impact on both of us.

[Greenskeeper]

Thanks ladies. Wasn't sure to post or not.

DJmom glad to hear it all. I think the cell phone companies should tell you the number of characters used rather than the number of texts. LOL They probably average 3 letters per text.

Scary news report about a half hour ago- 4 girls 8th and 9th grade in a town we used to live in were victims of intentional hit and run. Three are in serious condition fourth is critical. Words exchanged, driver (teenager) plowed them down in a parking lot. Goes to show you about kids and thinking... Sitting in the living room and texting is good.

[loria]

She and I went to an internet safety workshop a while ago. The police officer leading it showed how based on one My Space post and some other seemingly innocent information, it was possible for someone to track down the home address and school of a kid in less than 3 minutes.

That made a big impact on both of us.

yikes.

[loria]

Thanks ladies. Wasn't sure to post or not.

DJmom glad to hear it all. I think the cell phone companies should tell you the number of characters used rather than the number of texts. LOL They probably average 3 letters per text.

Scary news report about a half hour ago- 4 girls 8th and 9th grade in a town we used to live in were victims of intentional hit and run. Three are in serious condition fourth is critical. Words exchanged, driver (teenager) plowed them down in a parking lot. Goes to show you about kids and thinking... Sitting in the living room and texting is good.

OH. MY. GOD! are you SERIOUS?? where was this????

I mean dudes blowing up times square i can understand (well, you know)--but that???

[Greenskeeper]

A little town called Rockland, about 20 miles south of Boston.

Here's part of the news story:

The Patriot Ledger
Posted May 03, 2010 @ 06:19 PM
Last update May 03, 2010 @ 06:46 PM
ROCKLAND —
A Norwell resident is in custody after authorities said he drove a white van into four teenagers, injuring three of them seriously, in Rockland on Monday afternoon, according a Rockland police officer.

Police were joined by scores of onlookers at the site of a crash scene at the intersection of Church and Blanchard Streets.

Anthony Saturno, a freshman at Cavalry Chapel Academy in Rockland, said teenagers had gathered for a possible fight between Norwell High and Rockland High students.

Saturno said that a white van drove into the lot and drove into a group of teenage girls, two of whom he described as his "best friends." The driver then head off through the back of the parking lot.

"It was scary," Saturno said, "because you saw the tires going over them."

Called to the scene around 3:55 p.m., fire and police units found three teenage girls lying on the ground in the parking lot of a condominium complex. A fourth teenager, a male, was found walking nearby with a serious injury to his spine, according to Rockland Fire Chief Robert Dipoli.
Authorities called for a medical helicopter, but it could not be flown in due to high winds. Instead, two of the injured were taken to South Shore Hospital in Weymouth while the other two went to Signature Healthcare Brockton Hospital.

Three of the teenage victims suffered serious injuries, including multiple traumas, according to Dipoli. Their conditions were not immediately known.

[loria]

i used to live in hingham..so i know the area--that's just terrible

[Greenskeeper]

Small world. Rockland was always a bit rough then improved but now.... My brother moved up to Syracuse area from Canton MA 4 years ago. He loves NY. Hingham is lovely.

[mindehankins]

Oh DJmom! The title of your thread told me the whole story! I hardly needed to open the thread and read it.
It's hard to predict how all of these e-gadgets are going to change our society. Would love to take a current sociology course, somewhere. Normal is being re-defined over and over agin.
My feeling is that if she's maintaining her grades and is polite and kind at home, and seems happy with her friends, then she's doing okay. I remember spending hours and hours and HOURS talking on the phone with girlfriends, when I was young. We had something like 100 feet of phone cord, so I could walk all over the house with the phone pressed against my ear
Try to keep that rule that you have access to texts and facebook, ect, in effect for as long as possible.
Hannnngggg in there, mommy!

[djmom]

I forgot to post what happened during the "confrontation". I showed her the bill with a very serious look on my face and said "What do you have to say about this."

She looked at the number, a huge smile spread across her face, and she burst out laughing.

It was actually cute.

[chicagoans]

DD has to pay for her text messages (whatever is over the plan limit - I don't know because DH keeps track of that.) We also have a rule that the phone is always charged at night in the kitchen, not in her room. Too many kids sending her messages too late at night.

DS will have the same rules when he gets a phone this summer. (Sigh... he's moving on to middle school. He's SO ready - personality AND size-wise. He's now the tallest kid in the entire grade school.)

We have rules about Facebook too - I had to set it up for DD and have her password so that I can check the privacy settings from time to time. (And she had to 'friend' me.) The FB default privacy settings are WAY too open! And you have to go through each section and change them all.

I too saw a presentation on electronics / social networking and kids. Scary stuff and lots of creeps out there. AND young kids facing felony charges because they sent pictures of themselves to their boyfriend/girlfriend. I'm talking 12 and 13 year olds!
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/ye ... text1.html

[Lulu76]

I remember being on the phone with my friends all the time at that age. And some of them were long-distance, but I had to pay for it out of my babysitting money.

I text a lot. Aside from calling my mom every morning on the way to work, I don't really talk on the phone. But I can't stand when someone sends me a message that just says "LOL" or my favorite, "K." I am on an unlimited plan, so I never even know how many texts I have, but I may have to go look at my extended bill and see. Now I'm curious.

I think as long as you are aware and she knows you are aware you'll be fine. Kids could do much worse.