The 1st thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me...

[XOXO]

Ultimately the problem is not whiners, it is the lack of boundaries.

Absolutely true.

PIP: I know! I couldn't believe there was Halloween decorations/candy and Christmas decorations/candy at the same time!! What?!

[Marcia (Mrs. Pete)]

Guilty as charged on making everything equal. Pete and I come up with a budget for what we will spend on the four kids. Often times the electronic gifts that one kid wants add up to more than the trendy clothes another one wants. So, in come wrapped boxes with equalizing cash/prepaid visa cards.

It gets me thinking though, of how my parents did things (1960's-70's), when we were really little. Mom would take the train downtown (Chicago) and meet my dad. They'd have dinner, shop for all of our gifts and enjoy the lights of Michigan Ave together. It was not a chore for them; it was their chance to enjoy time together during the holiday season. I recall laughter when they would come home late (it was always a school night and I was supposed to be asleep) with packages they didn't want us to know about...

The best part was the next day, when Mom would tell me all about the moving displays she and dad saw on Michigan Avenue and the wonderful meal they had together. It all seemed so magical.

We didn't get mounds and mounds of gifts. We got whatever it was they found together, that night, on Michigan Avenue.

Fast forward, almost 40 year later. Christmas giving is still important to them. It is still not a chore. For my mom, right now, it is a joyous opportunity to do something. *she has advanced Alzheimer's* She is taking an hour or so, each day, to decorate an envelope for each one of her children and their spouses, each of her grandchildren and now, for her first born great grandchild, to hold their gift. Dad does this with her. It might not be the lights of Michigan Avenue or the moving displays in the window of Marshall Fields but...

This is Christmas.

[Chickadee]

Aw, Marcia, now I'm crying in my lunch... That's an incredibly sweet story and a great reminder of what the holidays are supposed to be like. I am inspired. Thank you.

BTW, I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to be even in your gifts to kids, but grown ups should be able to easily move beyond monetary equality and appreciate the gift for its thoughtfulness. My brother and I went in together on tickets for my Dad to see the Smothers Brothers live show. They were pricey, but we knew he would LOVE the show. Do I expect an equally priced gift from him? Of course not, but one given with as much thought/consideration would be nice.

As for bonuses, the expectation of them, how to break the news of none and needing boundaries... Just like kids, make the rules, make them known, enforce them and stick to them. Give an inch and they'll take a foot (or at least try to). You run a business, not a bank. Of course if you ran a bank you'd have stimulus funds to give out as bonuses! Just kidding.

[Marcia (Mrs. Pete)]

Aw, Marcia, now I'm crying in my lunch... That's an incredibly sweet story and a great reminder of what the holidays are supposed to be like. I am inspired. Thank you.

I didn't even mean to spill all of that out, it just flowed. I guess I'm feeling a little sentimental and there have been times, over the years, when I've wondered why we do, what we do, for the holidays.