Favorite pirate joke

BillVT · Post by **BillVT** » Sat Sep 26, 2009 6:21 pm

It is between seasons here on this island. Most of the summer people have closed up their summer homes and the leaf peepers are just starting to show up. This means that winter is close at hand and time to start looking forward to St John in March. Can I be that far ahead of myself? Yes I can. Even though my parents used to admonish me not to, "wish your life away."

But it is also time to revisit my favorite pirate joke. Do you have one?

A pirate walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "Pirate, there is a ship's wheel in your pants."

"Aye," says the pirate, "it's driving me nuts."

onislandtime · Post by **onislandtime** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:02 am

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened?? You look terrible.'

'What do you mean?' said the pirate. 'I feel fine.'
'What about the wooden leg?? You didn't have that before.'

'We were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.'
'OK, but what about that hook?? What happened to your hand?

'In another battle I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off and I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.'

'What about that eye patch?'

'Oh, one day we were at sea and flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them s!*t in my eye.'

'You're kidding. You lost an eye from bird s!*t?
'Well, it was my first day with the hook'

cptnkirk · Post by **cptnkirk** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 8:37 am

good ones

Sorry I have no pirate jokes.

California Girl · Post by **California Girl** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 6:08 pm

A pirate walks into a bar wearing a paper towel on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders some dirty rum.

The bartender asks, "Why are you wearing a paper towel?"

"Arrrrr..." says the pirate. "I've got a bounty on me head!"

Capn Dan and Ruby · Post by **Capn Dan and Ruby** » Sun Sep 27, 2009 9:53 pm

I thought I had heard all the pirate jokes out there, but the first one is new to me,great!

Thanks BillVT

canestfr · Post by **canestfr** » Mon Sep 28, 2009 2:29 pm

How many beans does a pirate put in his chili?

239.

Aye, because one more would be too farty.

toes in the sand · Post by **toes in the sand** » Mon Sep 28, 2009 7:41 pm

canestfr wrote:How many beans does a pirate put in his chili?

239.

Aye, because one more would be too farty.

AAARRGH!

mahojim · Post by **mahojim** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:13 am

canestfr wrote:How many beans does a pirate put in his chili?

239.

Aye, because one more would be too farty.

Groovy.
Very nice...

Smiles-
MJ

augie · Post by **augie** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:13 pm

canestfr wrote:How many beans does a pirate put in his chili?

239.

Aye, because one more would be too farty.

Remind me to buy you a drink at the Beach Bar on 11/1 - you earned it with that one!

canestfr · Post by **canestfr** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 3:17 pm

augie wrote:Remind me to buy you a drink at the Beach Bar on 11/1 - you earned it with that one!

From one pirate to another thank you very much. Can't wait.

samoka · Post by **samoka** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:17 pm

Those are great - my son in law turns into a pirate with his second rum - he will surely enjoy these.

chicagoans · Post by **chicagoans** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 7:03 pm

I'm loving these! Now I have better pirate jokes because the only one I had before is really silly...

What kind of socks does a pirate wear?

Arrrrrgyle

I must have gotten that from a popsicle stick or something.

teker · Post by **teker** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:10 pm

A little guy dresses as a pirate for Halloween and the first house he goes to a lady answers the door and says "what a cute little pirate, where's your buccaneers? The little pirates says" rrrr under my buccan hat"

DELETED · Post by **DELETED** » Wed Sep 30, 2009 10:52 pm

DELETED

djmom · Post by **djmom** » Thu Oct 01, 2009 9:11 am

still laughing about the chili one.

usvi-on-line