How STJ got me through this day 7 years ago...
Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:51 pm
Apologies in advance for the long post....
Seven years and about 4 hours ago today I was arriving at my office in Penatgon/Crystal City. At the time I was working for a Defense contractor in a building that was right next to I-395 and across from the Pentagon. My father had died a few days earlier and I was just going into the office for the day to get things organized so that we could fly down for his memorial service in Birmingham the next day. I had left my mother at home and had just set my briefcase down on my desk when the building shook.
I had heard the news story about the first tower in NY and by the time I walked into the office I had heard that the second tower was struck. As the daughter of an intellgence officer I knew then it was some sort of attack.
Then my secretary came in screaming that the Pentagon had been hit and looking out my window I could see the smoke rising across the highway.
In any other circumstance I would have called my father to ask him what I should do. But for the first time since he died I really needed him and he was not there for me.
I called my husband and told him that we were being evacuated from the building.
I got in my car and worked my way down Army Navy drive past Pentagon City Mall, the underpass to the Pentagon and parallel to 395 (they had closed 395).
We were surrounded in black smoke and I watched as officers in uniform and civilians in suits made their way from the Pentagon, some covered in soot and others just dazed and crying as they walked.
There were no horns, just people in their cars with the windows rolled down listening to their radios. It was an eery silence. People were polite and cooperative and let you in front of them. We spoke to one another and compared information about what was going on through our windows. We offered rides to strangers and people walking.
All I could think about was getting home to my husband and my Mom and getting to St. John. Somehow the thoughts of this place settled my mind from panic and my heart from bursting out of my chest with the pain of it all.
If I closed my eyes I could remember the feeling of the sun on my face, the humid and warm breeze that brushed my skin, the feeling of the sand between my toes and my husbands hand in mine. Everytime I took a deep breath I imagined smelling the salty air instead of the smoke. I just focused on all that was good in the world and what I loved about STJ and I was able to focus on getting home and back to my family.
My memories of STJ and the memories I had created and had yet to create with family and friends got me through that horrific day and have every day since.
The following April I made it back to the place that I longed to be most in the world and finally felt some peace.
I spent the days between September 12 and that April trip planning our journey to STJ. It allowed me to set aside the pain of losing my father and the reminder that life is, and always be, very uncertain and that it is absolutely vital that we take advantage of every moment we have with those we love. The importance of hugs and saying good-bye and sharing quality time together in places like STJ.
It's so easy to get caught up in the petty details of life, but as my Dad used to say, "None of us get out of this alive."
So on this day of all days, I want to say that I am grateful for all of my friends and family-- including you, my "Forum Family" both current and past for helping to make each day better than the day before.
Thanks to all of you who post pictures and trip reports and help to provide advice and guidance to veteran STJ visitors and newbies alike. Thank you to those forumites who are no longer with us and those who have yet to join us. Thank you to Flip Flop for putting up with me and letting me drag her to STJ in the first place. Thank you to Anthony for creating this space for all of us to use.
But most importantly I want to thank the island of STJ for bringing us all together in so many ways and for getting me through some very, very dark days.
I think we should all be grateful that such a place exists and do everything we can to preserve and support it.
Thanks for letting me write all this down. This day is always very hard for me and being able to share like this every once in a while seems to help me put it a little futher behind me.
Peace.
Gromit
Seven years and about 4 hours ago today I was arriving at my office in Penatgon/Crystal City. At the time I was working for a Defense contractor in a building that was right next to I-395 and across from the Pentagon. My father had died a few days earlier and I was just going into the office for the day to get things organized so that we could fly down for his memorial service in Birmingham the next day. I had left my mother at home and had just set my briefcase down on my desk when the building shook.
I had heard the news story about the first tower in NY and by the time I walked into the office I had heard that the second tower was struck. As the daughter of an intellgence officer I knew then it was some sort of attack.
Then my secretary came in screaming that the Pentagon had been hit and looking out my window I could see the smoke rising across the highway.
In any other circumstance I would have called my father to ask him what I should do. But for the first time since he died I really needed him and he was not there for me.
I called my husband and told him that we were being evacuated from the building.
I got in my car and worked my way down Army Navy drive past Pentagon City Mall, the underpass to the Pentagon and parallel to 395 (they had closed 395).
We were surrounded in black smoke and I watched as officers in uniform and civilians in suits made their way from the Pentagon, some covered in soot and others just dazed and crying as they walked.
There were no horns, just people in their cars with the windows rolled down listening to their radios. It was an eery silence. People were polite and cooperative and let you in front of them. We spoke to one another and compared information about what was going on through our windows. We offered rides to strangers and people walking.
All I could think about was getting home to my husband and my Mom and getting to St. John. Somehow the thoughts of this place settled my mind from panic and my heart from bursting out of my chest with the pain of it all.
If I closed my eyes I could remember the feeling of the sun on my face, the humid and warm breeze that brushed my skin, the feeling of the sand between my toes and my husbands hand in mine. Everytime I took a deep breath I imagined smelling the salty air instead of the smoke. I just focused on all that was good in the world and what I loved about STJ and I was able to focus on getting home and back to my family.
My memories of STJ and the memories I had created and had yet to create with family and friends got me through that horrific day and have every day since.
The following April I made it back to the place that I longed to be most in the world and finally felt some peace.
I spent the days between September 12 and that April trip planning our journey to STJ. It allowed me to set aside the pain of losing my father and the reminder that life is, and always be, very uncertain and that it is absolutely vital that we take advantage of every moment we have with those we love. The importance of hugs and saying good-bye and sharing quality time together in places like STJ.
It's so easy to get caught up in the petty details of life, but as my Dad used to say, "None of us get out of this alive."
So on this day of all days, I want to say that I am grateful for all of my friends and family-- including you, my "Forum Family" both current and past for helping to make each day better than the day before.
Thanks to all of you who post pictures and trip reports and help to provide advice and guidance to veteran STJ visitors and newbies alike. Thank you to those forumites who are no longer with us and those who have yet to join us. Thank you to Flip Flop for putting up with me and letting me drag her to STJ in the first place. Thank you to Anthony for creating this space for all of us to use.
But most importantly I want to thank the island of STJ for bringing us all together in so many ways and for getting me through some very, very dark days.
I think we should all be grateful that such a place exists and do everything we can to preserve and support it.
Thanks for letting me write all this down. This day is always very hard for me and being able to share like this every once in a while seems to help me put it a little futher behind me.
Peace.
Gromit