National Lampoons Thanksgiving
Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 9:22 pm
Okay folks.. I'll try to keep the report as condensed (LOL) as possible. Warning! It will not be easy or politically correct.
A little background info.. Love Love St. John. My hubby and our 8 year old daughter travel there every year. But this year I had my St. John baby. Yes too much info but had our little boy surprise 9 months after our trip last summer. Last summer we invited my parents to stay with us at the villa (Ebb Tide). We came down a few days early and stayed at the Marriott in St.Thomas. My folks ended up buying a timeshare at the new Marriott's Frenchman's Cove. So, while traveling with a 7 month old isn't my idea of a good time, my parents had a "free" place to stay and I had air miles so we went for Thanksgiving week. First time I've stayed on St.Thomas and was a little bummed about not being on St. John the whole time. Little did I know, I'd have other things to worry about.
We've always rented from Thrifty. BTW, Thrifty will now be known in our family as "Not so Thrifty." Taking a ferry with a kid and then renting on St. John never appealed to me so we always took a car over
Now, down to business.. My husband had a work emergency so I traveled with the two kids and parents alone. Yeah, so fun. Never flew American before and didn't know that not only would you not get crappy food, you'd get no food. Our connections had us running from gate to gate. By the time we got to St.Thomas I wanted to pass out. Mom, me and baby St. John took a cab to Not So Thrifty and waited for an hour. Yep, an hour. I watched 3 guys stand around looking at a computer screen like it was the Super bowl. I had reserved a Jeep liberty. Finally they tell me they don't have a libery, I'll have to take wrangler. At this point I would have rented an Amish buggy so I said fine. Well after you put your bags in the back, there's no room for baby St. John. So I had to put his infant seat in the front. Yep, big no no. I figured I'd get to the hotel and deal with it tomorrow.
We stayed one night at Secret Harbor. It should be called "Such a secret you'll never find it in the dark Harbor". Seriously, it was a joke to find. I'm following my dad who drives like an idiot (remember this for the future) with my daughter in his Jeep and I'm trying to keep up with my illegally strapped St. John baby in the front. We get there, check in and I'm in a room up on a hill on the third floor. I'm not a crier. But I wanted to at that point. I was cussing my 3000 mile away husband as I'm carrying a hungry baby and 8 year old up 3 flights of stairs. We agreed to meet my folks at the "very secret harbor" restaurant. Fine. So I clean up, load up and drive back down the hill. Baby St. John has had it. I'm wondering why the hell I thought I could pull this off. Anyway, ate and told the folks goodnight and went back to the Jeep. Strapped them in and then...... The Jeep wouldn't start. So I walked up the hill with two kids the whole time wishing I had booze. Lots of booze.
Next morning I call the local number for Not So Thrifty. It's disconnected. So I spent the next hour on hold with various Not So Thrifty agents in the states trying to help me. They end up calling the owner of the franchise at his home and talking to his wife. BTW she's not nice. She talks to me, I nicely explain the situation. I.e I'm stuck in a hotel w/2 kids that I need to check out of with not only the wrong vehicle, but one that doesn't work . She sends a tow truck. Tow truck driver calls my cell phone to come down and sign papers for my new vehicle. The new vehicle isn't really a vehicle it's more of a mouse on wheels. It's like a ten year old Toyota Corolla. Which island years is the equivalent of a 1979 Datsun. But again I'm just glad to have wheels. I'm like a 16 year old. I don't care what it is just get me the hell out of here. They promise me they'll have a liberty for me tomorrow and they'll "call me". Right.. For 2 days I call them and they don't have a liberty. Then as I'm driving through traffic in St.Thomas the car stalls. Yep, there I am in the traffic from hell because 3 cruise ships are in port. Did I tell you I hate cruise ships? Bumper to bumper and I get it started for it to continue to stall out. This time I flipped out. Husband was there by then so I told him to drive to Not So Thrifty and demand a car that "worked." He comes back with a........another flipping Wrangler. I just shake my head and explain to him that you can't fit 2 kids and all the sh** that goes with 2 kids in the back. Whatever. I decide I'm over it and we're going to St. John for the day.
After watching my husband try to shove a stroller in the back of a Wrangler and get pissed (because he just figured out I'm right) I go to the bar. I tell him I'll be right back. I order two $8 painkillers and down them in less than 5 minutes. This, my friends was the best decision I made the whole time. Go back and we headed to the ferry. Planned on shopping, eating at Woody's and maybe a little snorkel. My parents had headed there earlier that morning. As soon as we got there ( I was feeling REALLY good btw) we headed to Mongoose. I was there 5 minutes when my phone rang. It's my mother. Her phone is cutting in and out. But I begin to piece together the problem. My dad wrecked the jeep and she's on the side of the road "somewhere" by Hawksnest.
10 Minutes later I find my mother sitting on a rock on the side of the road looking somewhere in between suicide and mass murder. I start laughing because well, this is soooo typical for my family. I look at the front of the Jeep. Doesn't look too bad. Screwed up the bumper and grill, could be worse right?? I ask her where dads at. Ready for this? He lost the key to the Jeep. You heard me. Got in a wreck, went to the beach and somewhere lost the flipping key. So I walk down some trail laughing my butt off (remember the 2 pain killers?) until I see my father. What is it about being around your dad when he's pissed. It's like being 12 all over again. I talk him into giving up on "finding" the key and figuring something else out. BTW all their money, prescriptions, glasses, cameras etc were in the truck. Yeah, I know it's dumb on too many levels to count but what can you do?
So we all pile into one wrangler. Dad and Hubby in front, me, mom, daughter, and baby St. John in his car seat in the back. Sardines come to mind. My hubby wants to find a locksmith that can help. First thing we see is the building next to the lumberyard. I guess it has a couple different car rentals in it. There is a lot to the left of it and my husband pulls in there to go see if he can pay someone to cut a key. No sooner had he opened his door then someone comes flying out of this side door asking him what he's doing and he can't park there. My husband is very cool, and says he needs to find someone to help etc etc. The guy looks at our Jeep, says he won't help because we didn't rent ours from him and to get the F*** out of there. My husband pulls a couple hundred out of his pocket and says he'll pay etc etc.. Crazy man then threatens my husband and dad, calls them mf"ers a couple times. My daughter is crying and asking if the man is going to hurt dad and pop. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
Get on the ferry... All I could think about was how I wanted to scratch that guys eyeballs out for what he did. He was either high, crazy, or both. Didn't catch what company he was associated with bcs there was no sign on the door he came out of. Believe me, I will figure that out at some point.
Hubby then calls not so Thrifty on the way over and says we need the spare key. Guess what? They don't have one. But.... There's a couple keys laying around that their not sure about and for $50 someone will meet us at red hook with them. Me and the kids take a cab back to the condo and dad and hubby get the mystery keys and go BACK to St. John. Of course the keys don't work and they take the ferry back to St.Thomas. My husband says my dad was "very quiet" on the way back. I'm sure he felt like an idiot. It didn't help that the bumper sticker staring in their face on the bumper in front of them the whole way back says "you can't fix stupid.."
Not so Thrifty was no help. Had to pay a guy to break in and tow it back to Red Hook the next morning. Thankfully nothing was stolen. Unbelievable. What company doesn't have spare keys??
Do you think it would end there? So 2 weeks ago my credit card bill comes in the mail. They charged me 2x what they should have for the rental, or should I say the 3 rental cars. I have called them probably a dozen times. The manager is always there until they find out its me and then "he just stepped out." I've called Not So Thrifty headquarters and they took a report and said they'd look into it. I have the manager's cell phone and left him msgs. He doesn't return calls either. So my only recourse is disputing it with American Express. Don't leave home with out it they say.
Wasn't this fun? So, 2 broken down vehicles, 3 not what I ordered vehicles, one wrecked and keyless, then overcharged and disconnected phone numbers, tow trucks, several ferry rides and throw in threats from St. John competitor and a crying 8 year old in the back seat. This vacation will forever be know as the National Lampoon Thanksgiving.
I think I deserve an award.
A little background info.. Love Love St. John. My hubby and our 8 year old daughter travel there every year. But this year I had my St. John baby. Yes too much info but had our little boy surprise 9 months after our trip last summer. Last summer we invited my parents to stay with us at the villa (Ebb Tide). We came down a few days early and stayed at the Marriott in St.Thomas. My folks ended up buying a timeshare at the new Marriott's Frenchman's Cove. So, while traveling with a 7 month old isn't my idea of a good time, my parents had a "free" place to stay and I had air miles so we went for Thanksgiving week. First time I've stayed on St.Thomas and was a little bummed about not being on St. John the whole time. Little did I know, I'd have other things to worry about.
We've always rented from Thrifty. BTW, Thrifty will now be known in our family as "Not so Thrifty." Taking a ferry with a kid and then renting on St. John never appealed to me so we always took a car over
Now, down to business.. My husband had a work emergency so I traveled with the two kids and parents alone. Yeah, so fun. Never flew American before and didn't know that not only would you not get crappy food, you'd get no food. Our connections had us running from gate to gate. By the time we got to St.Thomas I wanted to pass out. Mom, me and baby St. John took a cab to Not So Thrifty and waited for an hour. Yep, an hour. I watched 3 guys stand around looking at a computer screen like it was the Super bowl. I had reserved a Jeep liberty. Finally they tell me they don't have a libery, I'll have to take wrangler. At this point I would have rented an Amish buggy so I said fine. Well after you put your bags in the back, there's no room for baby St. John. So I had to put his infant seat in the front. Yep, big no no. I figured I'd get to the hotel and deal with it tomorrow.
We stayed one night at Secret Harbor. It should be called "Such a secret you'll never find it in the dark Harbor". Seriously, it was a joke to find. I'm following my dad who drives like an idiot (remember this for the future) with my daughter in his Jeep and I'm trying to keep up with my illegally strapped St. John baby in the front. We get there, check in and I'm in a room up on a hill on the third floor. I'm not a crier. But I wanted to at that point. I was cussing my 3000 mile away husband as I'm carrying a hungry baby and 8 year old up 3 flights of stairs. We agreed to meet my folks at the "very secret harbor" restaurant. Fine. So I clean up, load up and drive back down the hill. Baby St. John has had it. I'm wondering why the hell I thought I could pull this off. Anyway, ate and told the folks goodnight and went back to the Jeep. Strapped them in and then...... The Jeep wouldn't start. So I walked up the hill with two kids the whole time wishing I had booze. Lots of booze.
Next morning I call the local number for Not So Thrifty. It's disconnected. So I spent the next hour on hold with various Not So Thrifty agents in the states trying to help me. They end up calling the owner of the franchise at his home and talking to his wife. BTW she's not nice. She talks to me, I nicely explain the situation. I.e I'm stuck in a hotel w/2 kids that I need to check out of with not only the wrong vehicle, but one that doesn't work . She sends a tow truck. Tow truck driver calls my cell phone to come down and sign papers for my new vehicle. The new vehicle isn't really a vehicle it's more of a mouse on wheels. It's like a ten year old Toyota Corolla. Which island years is the equivalent of a 1979 Datsun. But again I'm just glad to have wheels. I'm like a 16 year old. I don't care what it is just get me the hell out of here. They promise me they'll have a liberty for me tomorrow and they'll "call me". Right.. For 2 days I call them and they don't have a liberty. Then as I'm driving through traffic in St.Thomas the car stalls. Yep, there I am in the traffic from hell because 3 cruise ships are in port. Did I tell you I hate cruise ships? Bumper to bumper and I get it started for it to continue to stall out. This time I flipped out. Husband was there by then so I told him to drive to Not So Thrifty and demand a car that "worked." He comes back with a........another flipping Wrangler. I just shake my head and explain to him that you can't fit 2 kids and all the sh** that goes with 2 kids in the back. Whatever. I decide I'm over it and we're going to St. John for the day.
After watching my husband try to shove a stroller in the back of a Wrangler and get pissed (because he just figured out I'm right) I go to the bar. I tell him I'll be right back. I order two $8 painkillers and down them in less than 5 minutes. This, my friends was the best decision I made the whole time. Go back and we headed to the ferry. Planned on shopping, eating at Woody's and maybe a little snorkel. My parents had headed there earlier that morning. As soon as we got there ( I was feeling REALLY good btw) we headed to Mongoose. I was there 5 minutes when my phone rang. It's my mother. Her phone is cutting in and out. But I begin to piece together the problem. My dad wrecked the jeep and she's on the side of the road "somewhere" by Hawksnest.
10 Minutes later I find my mother sitting on a rock on the side of the road looking somewhere in between suicide and mass murder. I start laughing because well, this is soooo typical for my family. I look at the front of the Jeep. Doesn't look too bad. Screwed up the bumper and grill, could be worse right?? I ask her where dads at. Ready for this? He lost the key to the Jeep. You heard me. Got in a wreck, went to the beach and somewhere lost the flipping key. So I walk down some trail laughing my butt off (remember the 2 pain killers?) until I see my father. What is it about being around your dad when he's pissed. It's like being 12 all over again. I talk him into giving up on "finding" the key and figuring something else out. BTW all their money, prescriptions, glasses, cameras etc were in the truck. Yeah, I know it's dumb on too many levels to count but what can you do?
So we all pile into one wrangler. Dad and Hubby in front, me, mom, daughter, and baby St. John in his car seat in the back. Sardines come to mind. My hubby wants to find a locksmith that can help. First thing we see is the building next to the lumberyard. I guess it has a couple different car rentals in it. There is a lot to the left of it and my husband pulls in there to go see if he can pay someone to cut a key. No sooner had he opened his door then someone comes flying out of this side door asking him what he's doing and he can't park there. My husband is very cool, and says he needs to find someone to help etc etc. The guy looks at our Jeep, says he won't help because we didn't rent ours from him and to get the F*** out of there. My husband pulls a couple hundred out of his pocket and says he'll pay etc etc.. Crazy man then threatens my husband and dad, calls them mf"ers a couple times. My daughter is crying and asking if the man is going to hurt dad and pop. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes I wouldn't have believed it.
Get on the ferry... All I could think about was how I wanted to scratch that guys eyeballs out for what he did. He was either high, crazy, or both. Didn't catch what company he was associated with bcs there was no sign on the door he came out of. Believe me, I will figure that out at some point.
Hubby then calls not so Thrifty on the way over and says we need the spare key. Guess what? They don't have one. But.... There's a couple keys laying around that their not sure about and for $50 someone will meet us at red hook with them. Me and the kids take a cab back to the condo and dad and hubby get the mystery keys and go BACK to St. John. Of course the keys don't work and they take the ferry back to St.Thomas. My husband says my dad was "very quiet" on the way back. I'm sure he felt like an idiot. It didn't help that the bumper sticker staring in their face on the bumper in front of them the whole way back says "you can't fix stupid.."
Not so Thrifty was no help. Had to pay a guy to break in and tow it back to Red Hook the next morning. Thankfully nothing was stolen. Unbelievable. What company doesn't have spare keys??
Do you think it would end there? So 2 weeks ago my credit card bill comes in the mail. They charged me 2x what they should have for the rental, or should I say the 3 rental cars. I have called them probably a dozen times. The manager is always there until they find out its me and then "he just stepped out." I've called Not So Thrifty headquarters and they took a report and said they'd look into it. I have the manager's cell phone and left him msgs. He doesn't return calls either. So my only recourse is disputing it with American Express. Don't leave home with out it they say.
Wasn't this fun? So, 2 broken down vehicles, 3 not what I ordered vehicles, one wrecked and keyless, then overcharged and disconnected phone numbers, tow trucks, several ferry rides and throw in threats from St. John competitor and a crying 8 year old in the back seat. This vacation will forever be know as the National Lampoon Thanksgiving.
I think I deserve an award.
But the rest of your story, thank God, I have not had to deal with. (knock on wood) But it is a very funny tale.
