USVI-On-Line

Fair warning...this post offers no educational value and is not the least bit redeeming in any way...in fact, you will probably feel dumber for having read it.

That said, I made the bold announcement yesterday to my wife that I was dropping Trunk Bay from our list of must dos on every STJ visit.

If you must know and for the purposes of context only (please no wagering), our must dos, in no particular order, are:

1) Gibney Beach Day (not an official visit unless you smile at old lady in front of cottage and she tells you to go mate with a mongoose)

2) Salt Pont/Ram Head/Drunk Bay Trifecta (bonus if Tourist Trap is actually open...last two trips in June, closed...WTF (What The Frangipani)...close in Sept. live everybody else, Larry...when you've been around for 30 years like Vie, then you can close randomly and people will think you're mysterious and cool...until then, you're suspicious...I don't mean it, Larry, I love you Lobster Roll)

3) STJ Spice Kiss of the Jumbie Coffee (it's strong to quite strong; and keeps you more regular than corn flakes in prune juice...what?)

4) Skinny's Cheeseburger (all the burgers are outstanding in their own way, but I go with the Double Secret Probation Burger: slice of cheddar, slice of pepper jack, lots of eye contact...it's the special du jour, mmm, I'll have that)

5) Beach Bar Lime N'Coconut (what can I say, it's crazy delicious and I'm comfortable enough with my machismo, or lack there of, to let everyone know)

6) Deli Grato Sunshine Daydream Heart Attack Sandwich (oh domo arigato Mr. Deli Grato...the lunch sandwiches are kick bass as well)

7) Circumnavigating Waterlemon Cay (going clockwise or counter-clockwise, it's always sublime time iat Leinster...don't forget to compliment the parrot fish on their super poopers...beaches wouldn't be here if they weren't)

Number 8 used to be Trunk Bay. But I'm thinking about bumping it for the Smoothie Shack - cold, refreshing, comes in about 347 flavors and first rum shot's free...what's not to love?

But I digress...

Case #498: 54b vs. Trunk Bay

We made it a point to go to Trunk Bay on all five visits to STJ. And there's no question it's postcard perfect and the main attraction. But after this last visit, I just wasn't feeling it anymore.

I kicked up the palm leaves and the magic was gone. I had a bad cay...experience.

I'm sure most of you are rolling your eyes and saying, oh, he's just spoiled and doesn't like crowds. I bet he's one of those that demands microwave safe ramekins come standard with the villa.

But I don't think that's it. I went all the way out to Little Lameshur this last trip and it was so crowded (Carnival Sunday), you'd thought they were giving away free spotted eagle ray rides. And I had a great time. NOTE: No Eagle Rays were touched or harmed in the making of this vacation.

But the Trunk crowd and mood was different. Between the lifeguards screaming on the bullhorn every five minutes at the newbs to get off the reef and the cruise dude in combat boots and chinos running by every ten minutes with Strawberry Daqs, it just didn't seem like I was on STJ anymore, at least not the STJ I love. There also seemed like there was something impure about paying to go to a beach. I know the money goes to the park, but still, I'd rather they just up my beer tax...no, I don't really mean that. I can't afford Red Stripe now as it is.

Anyway, I think I'm done with Trunk. I'm not saying I'll never go back and if we ever go to STJ with first timers, there's no question it's a must stop, but for me alone, I'm out.

Unnecessary, unsolicited, unabridged Poll:

54b's proclamation that he is now too cool for Trunk Bay is:

A) As if Saint John himself was talking to me (testify, 54brother!)
B) Proof that no man is an island except for 54b
C) Motivation to go back to reading posts about weather forecasts
D) Evidence that you should have to have a License to Internet

Hope you all have a happy Friday.

Totally agree we love the trunk overlook, but go very rarely. We have four newbies going for October trip so may have to do it , which will be fine, but it's not on the must do list of Augie and ERL any longer !

Oh I love trunk bay, the people watching is GREAT and most tours are gone by 1pm also if you run out of beverages or snacks the snack bar is a pretty cool place

Yeah, I'm with you on Trunk too. It's gorgeous- but I don't have a need to be with all of the tourists (oh yeah, I'm one too, aren't I?) ... You know what I mean... That said, we did go last March - but it was later in the day when THEY were gone

Nope, I'm not too cool for trunk. It's good people watching.

Last trip to trunk was 11/11/11 and it was a wedding zoo/freakshow, but being the last day of the trip, was nice to have a little bit of reality creep back in before the walk of woe.

We try to spend at least part of a day there. Even if we have to swim over from Jumbie. That sand is pretty nice, for some reason it seems softer than other beaches.

But maybe that's my lack of ticker talking.

The first year on island we went to Ttrunk. We have been back several times - with Newbies and to drink Appletinis with new friends (with newbies). It seems to be the STJ Magens Bay...

54b,I like your list.

Gibney Beach- Haven't been yet, but when I go I'm making it my mission to become friends with that lady.

Salt Pond/Ram's Head/Drunk Bay/Tourist Trap-Did them all, loved them all. Lobster roll,friendly people and that view...priceless!

StJohn Spice "Kiss of the Jumbie"-Had to wait till I got home to try it (camping at Maho) and it was delish! And you're right about it keeping you regular.

Skinny Legs-Only went once back in 2005,but I had a blast! Will need to try again.

Beach Bar's Lime "n Coconut-Why haven't I had this? My favorite drink is Cruzan Coconut Rum. So many places, so much booze!

Deli Groto-Only had their "crack bar". So sweet, it lasted me 2 days!

Waterlemon Cay-Since I travel alone, I won't try this without a snorkel buddy. But definitely need to do.

Trunk Bay-Have only been 3 times to STJ and feel that I want to visit all other beaches before Trunk. But maybe I should rethink that just so I can have an honest opinion about it. Okay, now it's on my to-do list for next time.

Only been to St.John twice and to Trunk both times. Don't like to pay and don't like crowds, but found Trunk lovely both times, EVEN during Pres Week:) Just went with it.... definitely not on the must do list, but was a newbie the 1st time and with newbies the 2nd. Next time, don't need to go...but might!!!

Love Trunk and visit at least once a trip. With tons of people or by myself at 8am - it's all good to me.

Wouldn't be a St. John vacation without Trunk Bay and a BB Bushwacker.

Nobody goes there anymore - it's too crowded...

Im with ya! I think we have bypassed Trunk on our last 2 trips - the one prior to that we hit it because we were with some newbies and felt obligated- too crowded

What augie said made me choke on my drink!
Trunk for us is an afternoon thing. Hit an adventursome spot in the morn, lunch out, a favorite after like Maho, Francis, Trunk..........Can't Wait!!!!

lpowmacback wrote:Yeah, I'm with you on Trunk too. It's gorgeous- but I don't have a need to be with all of the tourists (oh yeah, I'm one too, aren't I?) ... You know what I mean... That said, we did go last March - but it was later in the day when THEY were gone

I keep trying to tell you all... "We are not tourists... we are visitors"..

However, I am with 54b with his take of Trunk. In all the times we've been to STJ, we've only been to Trunk once. Waaay to crowded, and the bullhorn thing drives me crazy!

Trunk is too crowded for me during the day but I love it in the late afternoon when most people are gone and the sun is starting to set. Floating in the quiet end of day, sipping some wine and watching the sun set....a great ending to a great day. In fact, I will be doing just that this afternoon