Dreaded Island Fever defined...when did you catch it?
Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 1:01 pm
OK, it's time to come out of lurking since we have a trip planned for July. Our first since 2008. A recent post mentioned Dreaded Island Fever (DIF) so I dug out this definition. It is long but a fun, and actuate accounting of what most of us go through.
DREADED ISLAND FEVER
Dreaded Island Fever is a malady which eventually effects all those who travel to the Caribbean and truly let her varied sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings into their bones. Dreaded Island Fever, hereinafter known as DIF, is a real, not imagined, affliction which is contracted by most first time visitors to the Caribbean! People contracting the disease usually start showing symptoms within the first twenty-four hours of being in the Caribbean. It manifests itself in a myriad of different ways, depending on the sufferer. There is no known cure, only treatments, given in bouts of one, two or at the most three weeks, depending on the funds available to the sufferer.
In between those trips to the Caribbean, the deadly disease continues to affect us, as it does other victims. Victims have been reported posting pictures and even posters of a tranquil island scene on office walls and near their desks. Many folks’ computers reflect computer wallpapers and screen savers of Caribbean scenes, keeping the malady more alive in the sufferer’s mind, but not necessarily helping folks to recover. Reporters have observed folks checking in on their favorite travel forum 6 times or more a day, many of them while they are SUPPOSED to be working, and hurriedly shrinking their browser as the boss walks past. Very severe DIF sufferers have been observed pounding their computer keyboard in frustration as they are unable to get a STT radio station or the St John Spice web cam to come up. People with DIF have reported that they often day dream about that special island in the sun, while at work. Others have reported seeing people in serious business meetings with a silly grin on their face and a far away look in their eyes.
At home it doesn't get any better! The poor sufferer forgets about the lawn, house work, kids, little league, friends, neighbors, family and even their job! In an extreme case, one forgets about house payments, car payments and social responsibilities. All they can think of is, "If I don’t eat lunch at all this month, can I afford another trip to the islands this year?" Many are observed listening to Jimmy Buffett or the Beach Boys or a tape or CD from some no-name band they listened to in the Caribbean (that sounded a WHOLE lot better down in the Caribbean–must have been all those Heinekens!!) blasting out of the player, bugging the neighbors and the dog. Folks try to hurry along their next trip to paradise by ordering all kinds of forum merchandise, hats, flags, shirts, and coolies, so they can think about the islands 24 hours a day. They hope the appearance of the merchandise will cause their neighbors and friends to ask questions about the islands, and that their tales will cause them to suffer bouts of DIF also, even if they haven’t ever been to the Caribbean!!
Mostly lately the symptoms for us have settled in to, more often than not, one particular Island in the Sun, as they do for many folks here. If a person is lucky, they find their own particular island in the sun, that one place on earth that makes their soul sing. That place is different for many folks and could be an otherwise deserted island on a sailboat, a villa overlooking a fabulous sunset, or a cruise ship. It is there that we experience the highest, purest form of DIF. The initial symptom is an uncontrollable urge to lay on a beach and do absolutely nothing. All those "must do" plans seem to melt away in the Caribbean sunshine. When the afflicted are asked about going somewhere or doing something, the reply is usually, "What's the DIFference? It can wait until tomorrow!" DIF is further compounded by the effects of a strange force found only in the Caribbean. It is called "Sand Gravity!" When the disease meets up with this force, the poor afflicted soul finds it hard to even get up to retrieve another cold beverage! The far-gone sufferer has taken to bringing along a portable collapsible cooler so that liquid libations will never be more than an arm’s length away. The disease gets progressively worse as time goes on. Even couch potatoes are more active than DIF sufferers! Another symptom of the disease has been reported by flight attendants, who say that spouses have been observed dragging their mates aboard aircraft leaving for home. The afflicted have been heard to scream, "One more day -- just one more day!!!"
There is no known cure for DIF! All of the people who tried to find a cure, were themselves afflicted and ran off to some Caribbean location! There are only "treatments" for this dreaded affliction. The treatment consists of a large "dose" of warm Caribbean sunshine, soft sandy beaches, warm Caribbean sea water and many cold drinks served at a beach bar. There is a downside to this however. The afflicted build up a resistance to the treatments and have to return more and more frequently and for longer periods to relieve the symptoms! Most of the regulars around VIOL are hopelessly and helplessly afflicted and will never recover! The CDC and your government don't even acknowledge that this disease exists because they don't want to have a mass panic and have all of the citizens rush to the Caribbean. The main problem is, DIF is something that you either already have -- or something you will get!
So, how ‘bout it folks? When did YOU first realize that you were suffering the effects of DIF???
(The above is rather cheerfully plagiarized from a similar piece written some ten years ago by one Ray Ousley
DREADED ISLAND FEVER
Dreaded Island Fever is a malady which eventually effects all those who travel to the Caribbean and truly let her varied sights, sounds, smells, tastes and feelings into their bones. Dreaded Island Fever, hereinafter known as DIF, is a real, not imagined, affliction which is contracted by most first time visitors to the Caribbean! People contracting the disease usually start showing symptoms within the first twenty-four hours of being in the Caribbean. It manifests itself in a myriad of different ways, depending on the sufferer. There is no known cure, only treatments, given in bouts of one, two or at the most three weeks, depending on the funds available to the sufferer.
In between those trips to the Caribbean, the deadly disease continues to affect us, as it does other victims. Victims have been reported posting pictures and even posters of a tranquil island scene on office walls and near their desks. Many folks’ computers reflect computer wallpapers and screen savers of Caribbean scenes, keeping the malady more alive in the sufferer’s mind, but not necessarily helping folks to recover. Reporters have observed folks checking in on their favorite travel forum 6 times or more a day, many of them while they are SUPPOSED to be working, and hurriedly shrinking their browser as the boss walks past. Very severe DIF sufferers have been observed pounding their computer keyboard in frustration as they are unable to get a STT radio station or the St John Spice web cam to come up. People with DIF have reported that they often day dream about that special island in the sun, while at work. Others have reported seeing people in serious business meetings with a silly grin on their face and a far away look in their eyes.
At home it doesn't get any better! The poor sufferer forgets about the lawn, house work, kids, little league, friends, neighbors, family and even their job! In an extreme case, one forgets about house payments, car payments and social responsibilities. All they can think of is, "If I don’t eat lunch at all this month, can I afford another trip to the islands this year?" Many are observed listening to Jimmy Buffett or the Beach Boys or a tape or CD from some no-name band they listened to in the Caribbean (that sounded a WHOLE lot better down in the Caribbean–must have been all those Heinekens!!) blasting out of the player, bugging the neighbors and the dog. Folks try to hurry along their next trip to paradise by ordering all kinds of forum merchandise, hats, flags, shirts, and coolies, so they can think about the islands 24 hours a day. They hope the appearance of the merchandise will cause their neighbors and friends to ask questions about the islands, and that their tales will cause them to suffer bouts of DIF also, even if they haven’t ever been to the Caribbean!!
Mostly lately the symptoms for us have settled in to, more often than not, one particular Island in the Sun, as they do for many folks here. If a person is lucky, they find their own particular island in the sun, that one place on earth that makes their soul sing. That place is different for many folks and could be an otherwise deserted island on a sailboat, a villa overlooking a fabulous sunset, or a cruise ship. It is there that we experience the highest, purest form of DIF. The initial symptom is an uncontrollable urge to lay on a beach and do absolutely nothing. All those "must do" plans seem to melt away in the Caribbean sunshine. When the afflicted are asked about going somewhere or doing something, the reply is usually, "What's the DIFference? It can wait until tomorrow!" DIF is further compounded by the effects of a strange force found only in the Caribbean. It is called "Sand Gravity!" When the disease meets up with this force, the poor afflicted soul finds it hard to even get up to retrieve another cold beverage! The far-gone sufferer has taken to bringing along a portable collapsible cooler so that liquid libations will never be more than an arm’s length away. The disease gets progressively worse as time goes on. Even couch potatoes are more active than DIF sufferers! Another symptom of the disease has been reported by flight attendants, who say that spouses have been observed dragging their mates aboard aircraft leaving for home. The afflicted have been heard to scream, "One more day -- just one more day!!!"
There is no known cure for DIF! All of the people who tried to find a cure, were themselves afflicted and ran off to some Caribbean location! There are only "treatments" for this dreaded affliction. The treatment consists of a large "dose" of warm Caribbean sunshine, soft sandy beaches, warm Caribbean sea water and many cold drinks served at a beach bar. There is a downside to this however. The afflicted build up a resistance to the treatments and have to return more and more frequently and for longer periods to relieve the symptoms! Most of the regulars around VIOL are hopelessly and helplessly afflicted and will never recover! The CDC and your government don't even acknowledge that this disease exists because they don't want to have a mass panic and have all of the citizens rush to the Caribbean. The main problem is, DIF is something that you either already have -- or something you will get!
So, how ‘bout it folks? When did YOU first realize that you were suffering the effects of DIF???
(The above is rather cheerfully plagiarized from a similar piece written some ten years ago by one Ray Ousley
Caught it in 2006... still suffering. 
