Pre-screen for Newbies-- posted on request
Posted: Fri Jun 12, 2009 11:02 am
A few people have asked I re-post this in its own thread.
Happy Friday.
LMG's STJ Newbie Pre-screen
1. I put sand in their knickers when they're not looking. If they scream, they're out. If they ask for another margarita, they're in.
2. I plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously. If they stay and don't kill me, they're in.
3. While driving with them in the passenger seat, I pretend to stop in the middle of the road to: take photos, move for a water truck, or talk to my friends. If they get irritated, they're out. If they have an unexplainable urge to have a drink in their hand, they're in.
4. I coat myself in several layers of sunscreen and Deep Woods OFF and then rub salt on myself. If they still want to hug me, they're in.
5. Finally, I take them out on a really hot day, give them a fair share of water, beer, and rum, make sure they've gotten some sun, possibly attempt to get them on a rocking boat, make them climb no less than fifteen steep hills in flip-flops and then take them to have a $5 cheeseburger/fish sandwich/salad/slice of pizza that actually costs $12. If they eat it and declare it the best food on Earth, they're in.
Happy Friday.
LMG's STJ Newbie Pre-screen
1. I put sand in their knickers when they're not looking. If they scream, they're out. If they ask for another margarita, they're in.
2. I plan to meet them at a certain time, but then arrive a half hour late, at the wrong place, and smell suspiciously. If they stay and don't kill me, they're in.
3. While driving with them in the passenger seat, I pretend to stop in the middle of the road to: take photos, move for a water truck, or talk to my friends. If they get irritated, they're out. If they have an unexplainable urge to have a drink in their hand, they're in.
4. I coat myself in several layers of sunscreen and Deep Woods OFF and then rub salt on myself. If they still want to hug me, they're in.
5. Finally, I take them out on a really hot day, give them a fair share of water, beer, and rum, make sure they've gotten some sun, possibly attempt to get them on a rocking boat, make them climb no less than fifteen steep hills in flip-flops and then take them to have a $5 cheeseburger/fish sandwich/salad/slice of pizza that actually costs $12. If they eat it and declare it the best food on Earth, they're in.
