USVI-On-Line

Our local paper in Raleigh, The News and Observer is running a contest to win tickets to see Anthony Bourdain.

As the rules read: We want to hear about the most exotic food to pass your lips, the greatest feat of cooking you have ever executed under difficult circumstances, or the most arduous journey you have undertaken for a meal.

OK...so I'm entering. I tried to write something that didn't sound like it was composed by a drunken caveman.

When I sent it to a coworker for editing, she responded "Does St John pay you for all the talking about it you do?"

I know I won't win because I don't make mention of any of the following keys to any good N&O Story:
NC State
Raleigh
Pigs
Hog Waste
Obvious corruption
NC State
NC State

Anyhoo. Here it is.

What is a great meal?

Is it the exquisitely prepared and presented piece of grilled fish that you ate one summer night at a sidewalk table of a high-end restaurant? Is it your wife's potato salad (believed by some to be the World's Best) made for you on your birthday, sitting next to a huge rib-eye that you grilled for yourself because you know, in your heart, that nobody cooks a steak like you do?

Or, is it a chicken salad sandwich?

Her name is Tarn. She's a world traveler and an adventurer. She's also the First and only mate aboard a small sailboat named the Wayward Sailor. Every day a small group of day-trippers follow her boss, Captain Phil Chalker through the waters of the US Virgin Islands in search of coral reefs and the elusive Caribbean Reef Octopus. In the meantime, she works in a galley no larger than a card table to make lunch for the guests.

You and your travel companions emerge from the water, squawking like parrots over what you saw and where you snorkeled. You climb aboard, sit back, and continue to be amazed by your surroundings. Tarn emerges from below decks and asks if you're ready for lunch. The hour's snorkel has left you hungry and you've read about this lunch for months on assorted websites.

A plastic plate is presented to you. On it sits a slice of cantaloupe, a small mound of coleslaw and the sandwich. The sandwich. Your stomach grumbles at the sight of it. A giant toasted whole grain bun ("Baked fresh on island!" you're told) stares back at you. Inside is a small mountain of freshly-prepared chicken salad. Tarn has spent the past hour chopping, mixing and has created a sandwich fit for royalty. You don't just bite into it, you positively tear into it. The bread is still warm, the salad is creamy and crunchy and you're sitting on a sailboat in the middle of the Caribbean Sea. Nobody on the boat speaks. They can't. The sandwiches and the surroundings have taken hold. Captain Phil notices this. He tells you, "I've been eating this lunch every day for over 20 years and I still love it." He's right.

The journey to this lunch certainly wasn't arduous. The hardest thing you had to do was endure a meal on an airplane a few days before. The food certainly wasn't exotic; it was chicken salad, after all. But, you sat there on a sailboat next to your wife and across from your two best friends. Work and real life was more than just 1500 miles away. You were on vacation in your little corner of paradise, eating a freshly-prepared sandwich. For a few hours, life was perfect.

Tarn's name may mean "small mountain lake", but as far as you're concerned it means "Caribbean Sandwich Queen".

Tell Anthony Bourdain hello for us when you meet him!

ditto what colleen said!
that's wonderful!

I'm hungry!
good luck

I like it! You should send it to Tarn, I bet she would like to see it.

However, are you sure that sandwich is chicken? I thought it was seafood salad. Hmm...

PS: If you get to meet Anthony Bourdain I am going to be jealous of you forever and ever.

If you don't win, the contest is fixed.

liamsaunt wrote:I like it! You should send it to Tarn, I bet she would like to see it.

However, are you sure that sandwich is chicken? I thought it was seafood salad. Hmm...

PS: If you get to meet Anthony Bourdain I am going to be jealous of you forever and ever.

I found Tarn on FB and will send it to her. Capt Phil gave "permission" to use their names. I did ask.

I had chicken salad. Seafood salad would have made me test the limits of the Wayward Sailor's plumbing.

Tarn is a lovely girl, but we didn't get lunch aboard Wayward Sailor 2 years ago. We had lunch at Foxy's! We had a Caribbean snack of sorts - pineapple and one bite brownies!! (so as not to get crumbs aboard!!) Anyway, hope you get to meet Anthony Bourdain - love his show - watched a marathon over the weekend!!

Sounds like a winner to me. Good luck! Ali~

Tony wants to hear about eating with your feet in the sand! That, and Vietnamese food.

Cheers, RickG

Really nice, Pip

Whether you win or not, you've already got something much more valuable than any prize anyone could ever give you: a memory when everything was absolutely perfect, a moment in heaven. I have a bunch of them stored deep in my memory and deep in my heart. That moment when everything was absolutely perfect---nothing that I would change, nothing that could be added or taken away to make it better. It's not like heaven, it is heaven. And the grace is in recognizing it while I'm there in that moment, not later in reflection. And for me, most of those moments are quiet and subtle, easy to miss if if going too fast. They don't involve dolphins and double rainbows. They involve something as plain and basic and utterly perfect as a chicken salad sandwich. It's a memory that I might hold close when I'm a very old man on my death bed and it would warm me to my core.

Still, it would be fun to win. But it would just be the cherry on top of an already delicious sundae.

Thanks for sharing it.(We've been out with Phil and Tarn, so I've REALLY appreciated it.)

Well said, Lex. I wouldn't change a word.

Also well said, Pip. Wouldn't change a word.

RickG wrote:Tony wants to hear about eating with your feet in the sand! That, and Vietnamese food.

And the putzes here in Raleigh only want to hear about the time I drove all the way out to Wilson, gee golly it was hot that day, to go to a pig pickin'. Boy the Natty Light was cold that day. I do declare.

Poduck 3rd rate city I chose to live in...Someone remind me of the weather and taxes before I get mad and start an "I miss bagels" rant.

Bourdain's not involved but I tried to write it to sound like an episode of the show. I liked it.

Thanks to everyone.

You did a WONDERFUL job describing your meal and why it was fabulous to you... you had all of my senses involved, I could see it and hear it and feel the warmth of the sun and my mouth was watering for that sandwich! Good Luck, you've got my vote!

I didn't win. Somebody writing about...shockingly..a dinner in Bangkok won.

Rick was right.