USVI-On-Line

Ohhhhh...I just had to read this thread! I was a little afraid, but it's not so bad. I am only going to comment on one thing said here, but first let me give a little background. I'm in my 11th year here, (transplant from Michigan) and recently married a born here West Indian and am now related to about 3/4 of the island. My understanding and empathy for Native Locals grows on a daily basis.

Ok, now for the comment, in my experience, "Excuse Me" is an aggressive/confrontational phrase in the native culture. I only have noticed my husband and other in laws use this phrase in an argumentative manner. I won't speculate on why this is...it's just my observation. I could go on and on, but I will leave it at that!

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Been going to the Islands for 10 years and the only problem, if I can even call it that, was the first visit. It took a little while for me to realize what a different social culture exists on Island vs. the States. This was purely the result of my ignorance which I'm glad to say I quickly corrected. That said, being polite and complying with the established nicety is great but you have to be sincere. I mean I think people can tell if ya really mean "good morning, how are you today " or if your just getting it out of the way, so to speak. I have witnessed people walk up to a store clerk and in one breath say " good morning, I want" and run off what is they want. That just don't get it. I mean take an extra minute or two and look the people in the eye and say your greeting and wait for a response. It is more than just a greeting, it is the start of comunication and well worth the time and effort. At the same time realize that you are on Vacation. They are working like any other work day and people do have some bad days. Some handle them better than others. So be it. As to rude people in general, I find a trip to the Islands to be an escape from the plethora of rude people at home. Nuf Said.

No matter where you go, sometimes people are having good days, and sometimes bad. There was 1 particular person who we had dealt with in deli grotto that was quite grumpy, no matter how pleasant we were. One day when we went in she was giving a big hug to someone in front of us. When hubby got to the front of the line, he said "Do I get a hug too?" She laughed, came around from behind the counter, and they shared a big hug and we all laughed. She was never grumpy with us when we went in after that. Not suggesting this approach, just sharing a fun story.

Just got back from my first trip to STJ. I had read a few threads about this subject before and so made an extra point of being polite, always asking how people are doing, etc, before getting down to business. I truly plan to do this more often as it makes all parties happier.

However, I will definitely say some locals seemed generally grumpy. I was never in a rush and certainly didn't have a "tourist needs to be appeased" attitude. Maybe it's just a comparison thing, but every single transplant we encountered was in such a good mood and very happy to help, make suggestions, or chitchat. There was a stark contrast between the two. We didn't have any specific bad experiences, and we certainly met some very friendly locals, but I'll just say we noticed an attitude difference.

stjohnjulie wrote:Ohhhhh...I just had to read this thread! I was a little afraid, but it's not so bad. I am only going to comment on one thing said here, but first let me give a little background. I'm in my 11th year here, (transplant from Michigan) and recently married a born here West Indian and am now related to about 3/4 of the island. My understanding and empathy for Native Locals grows on a daily basis.

Ok, now for the comment, in my experience, "Excuse Me" is an aggressive/confrontational phrase in the native culture. I only have noticed my husband and other in laws use this phrase in an argumentative manner. I won't speculate on why this is...it's just my observation. I could go on and on, but I will leave it at that!

Thats interesting and good to know. To me, "excuse me" is a very cordial salutation when trying to get one's attention or passing by closely. But I see your point when imagining an argument with ones hands on hips; EXCUSE ME !!

Interest topic. I haven't had a chance to get my 'forum-fix' for quite awhile due to a variety of health problems and business/family 'busyness.' But after our last trip to St. John, I was going to post something similar myself (and I've been going there for almost 20 years now and never felt a need to before).

First, as far as 'local-owned' businesses that one of the posters requested. I'm assuming you mean local indigenous St. Johnian owned (as opposed to St. Lucian, Dominican, "Spanish"--i.e. Dominican Republic, Puerto Rican, Argentinian, Venezuelan--or BVI, East Asian, European or North American (aka as mainlander) owned (even if any of those others have been born and raised on the island or have lived there 25 to 30 or 40 or more years).

All except 2 of the car rental agencies are owned by native St. Johnians, as are the ferry companies, both gas stations I believe, all of the taxi operators (who I understand are independent businessmen), as, of course, are the local eateries such as Joe's BBQ, Candi's BBQ, Hercules Pates, Sheila's Pot, the trailer that serves food by the car barge. There are car repair, fencing, septic cleaning and all sorts of small business like that owned by local St. Johnians. They also own quite a few apartment buildings and rental units/houses etc. That's just the ones I've gotten to know.

After reading in the local newspaper of some of the wording and problems with the new constitution drafted by the committee last year, the question of who is a Virgin Islander is an interesting one. I know where I live--a very ethnically-mixed neighborhood as we are near a National Science Research Institute that attracts poeple from all over the world--it doesn't really take 3 generations for someone to consider themselves an American. So how long does someone have to live in St. John to be considered a St. Johnian or Virgin Islander or 'local' if you will?

As far as rude behavior, I personally find the whole concept of greeting people with a good morning and inquiring how they are sincerely to be a very civilized way of living. As somebody recently mentioned to me, it reflects a way to value the person rather than the transaction. I find it very similar to France. Our experience there certainly benefitted by a heart-felt Bon Jour rather than just entering a store & asking for something.

I actually love the lady behind the snack bar counter in Trunk Bay--she often has a thankless, hot job but when I've truly asked how her day is going, she always responds with kindness. I too have found the only consistently grumpy people to be the check-out girls at Starfish. But the people at the gourmet wine & cheese shop across the way are wonderful as are the people in the new grocery store closer to the Westin, and the people at Pine Peace. Really, I've had delightful encounters & conversations with most people on St. John.

I have recently though (the last couple years or so of trips) had some terrible experiences with VERY rude taxi drivers and Airport personnel in St. Thomas; really unwarranted behavior either to myself, my husband, or other passengers/customers that's very uncomfortable (and as I said not warranted by rude or demanding behavior on their part in any way. It's become quite disturbing).

Dave, you are absolutely correct. I didn't really word that right...when you are passing close by someone, or something like that, "excuse me" is used, but in a very gentle manner, that is not offensive at all. After talking with my husband about this thread, I think we can agree that there will always be grumpy people, no matter where you go. On St. John, our style of communication is very relaxed, cordial (in it's own way), slow, and if there is a sense of urgency in someones tone or body language, it really gets peoples feathers ruffled. I personally find this culture fascinating and it really saddens me that so much of it has been lost over the years.