USVI-On-Line

Happy Memorial Day to everyone. And Happy Less Than Two Weeks to STJ to me.

#12

What if Salt Pond Bay was really Salt Bay Pond? Is Chocolate Hole just like Brown Bay, only with better marketing? Do Australians refer to Haulover North as Haulover South? When will JollyRancher come out with a Waterlemon flavor? Would you say St. John has junk in its Trunk on Cruise Ship day? Do you need a designated drinker when partying at Drunk Bay? Was John's Folly a "folly-ha-ha" or a "folly-faux-pas?" Why does the sand at Cinnamon Bay taste like nutmeg? If the folks at Cialis shot a commercial on St. John, would it be appropriate to set up those two outdoor bathtubs overlooking Peter Bay? Is it considered one-stop shopping to get married on the beach at Honeymoon Bay? Do other bays make fun of Reef Bay's gut? If they built a tunnel from Cruz Bay to Coral Bay, would it be called Center Cut Road, Bore-deaux Mountain Highway, or 8 Not-As-Tough Miles? Better know your bay before you plan your day.

Just hilarious! Thanks for the holiday laughs!!!

So close to STJ, yet so far...must...keep...going...here's:

#11

When traveling to St. John, I like to order a Rum & Coke on the airplane and pour a little of the rum into my seat pocket barf bag to pay homage to the Travel Spirits for an on-time arrival to St. Thomas and an uneventful transfer over to St. John. I find that the Spirits prefer spirits to money or lighting a candle, which the airline community seems to frown upon these days. I also like to take that rum scented barf bag off the plane with me in case we end up on the van that takes the extremely hilly route from the STT airport to the ferry at Red Hook where there is a 67% probability of suffering from vertigo while being impaled by a small farm animal that chose the wrong time to answer why it crossed the road. Then when I get to the ferry dock I usually jump out of the van and go kiss the water saying, "thank the Travel Spirits I'm back on wet land."

Thank you, GTGA, appreciate the encouragement...if I reach 10,000 views, Anthony said he'd send me a special VIOL t-shirt that reads: "Unfortunately, you have seen me on the forum."


just read all you posts love them

And...down the stretch I come...one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and ten more to go:

#10

You know that Footprints In The Sand prayer where the guy dreams about asking the Lord why he only saw one set of footprints on the beach during the toughest times of his life and the Lord replied that when the man saw only one set of footprints, It was then that the Lord was carrying him? Well, I guess it made an impression on me because I kind of had a dream like that too, except I was on Salomon Beach and I asked the Lord, "how come during one of the best times of my life on St. John, I also only saw one set of footprints. And the Lord replied, "My precocious, often misunderstood child with a short attention span and high tolerance for chicanery, when you saw only one set of footprints, I was still with you, I was just over under a palm tree...sometimes God takes a vacation for a minute too." And I was like, "wow, thanks, God, good to know you vacation here. St. John is a good place for it." And the Lord responded, "yes, and John is a good Saint too." And that was awesome so I went to give the Lord a fist bump and that's when my wife shook me awake and asked me why I knocked out the alarm clock.

I think my college friends and I played Dodge-beer at White Bay about 20 or so years ago. Little did we know it was going to become a famous game. Hope to see ya on STJ! Thanks for all the laughs!

Totally enjoying each and every one of your countdown posts! Thanks for taking us there! Happy Happy Day!

As always, thanks for the nice comments Shoe, Barb, Ski (ooh, good band name idea)...anyway, we're getting shallower, almost there...

#9

Have you ever noticed how the last full day of a vacation feels a lot like that moment when the bartender yells, “LAST CALL!” Even after the harbinger of buzz kills makes that unwelcomed announcement, I'm thinking most of us are still pretty happy because we're three sheets to the wind and we know there’s at least some time left on the clock to rock. But then the few brain cells we didn’t manage to kill while drinking start registering foreboding blips on our emotional radar, warning our fragile psyches that the end is near and serving as not-so-gentle reminders that nothing’s waiting for us on the other side of tonight but a long, soul-sucking journey straight back to reality....I bet you thought the reason I wore earplugs and carried a six-pack on me at all times on the last full day of vacation was because I was swimming impaired. Nope. "Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na...can't (hiccup) hear you, Last Day...na-na-na-na-na..."

I am only sorrry I am going to miss you on St John by a week...I would love to meet the source of this stream of conciousness. Your posts have been a great way to countdown the days to my trip. What will I do the last week? Will you post from St John?

Your too funny !!!

Thank you, thank you...itsintheair, when you're on the rock, go to the Beach Bar and find just about any tall, goofy guy face down in a frozen drink. It'll be as if I were right there with ya...JJ, see you on the 12th, just prop my head up for air if my face turns the same color as the drink I'm face down in. Speaking of drinks...

#8

You know, I may actually love the name "Drink Right Keep Left" almost as much as the drink itself at The Tourist Trap. In fact, I think every bar and restaurant on St. John should create and merchandise their own signature drink and name it after a particularly virulent wild animal found on the island or just make a pun out of a popular island landmark. Examples include but are not limited to: Donkey Bite Sprite, Chocolate Hole Milk of Amnesia, East End Goat-schlager, Mongoose Juice, Mike's Hard Waterlemonade (helps if you have a bartender name Mike), The Mosquita-Margarita, No-See-Rum Jello Shots, and of course, Drunk Bay OJ mimosas for those of you who like to start early ("you had me at, Jello"). After that they'll need to make some t-shirts, bumper stickers and fuzzy rearview mirror dangling air-freshener thingies that all wax poetic about their signature drink because humans are basically superficial, elitist "tchotchniks" who can’t hardly wait to prove to everyone back in Wisconsin that they did indeed take the "Roundabout Stout Challenge." If it'll work on a frat boy, it’ll work on a tourist - same mental dynamic.

[ If it'll work on a frat boy, it�ll work on a tourist - same mental dynamic.[/b][/quote]

Excellent observation considering the heavy emphasis on drinking as your way of enjoying STJ and vacation.

Chocolate Hole Milk of Amensia! Wonder what the morning after's like when you try that one