USVI-On-Line

Posted: **Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:30 pm**

COMCAST CLOSED MY ACCOUNT faster than I planned, moved to different service ie my main source of jokes is gone. I guess comcast hates it when you leave

so this is all I have for this week

Posted: **Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:36 pm**

recycled ones

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/4392920605/" title="feb 25 jokes by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4034/439 ... 91f51a.jpg" width="471" height="387" alt="feb 25 jokes"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/4386318716/" title="feb 26 jokes by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2476/438 ... 7f2d07.jpg" width="441" height="500" alt="feb 26 jokes"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/4385555081/" title="feb 26 jokes by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2758/438 ... ebfcf7.jpg" width="414" height="500" alt="feb 26 jokes"></a>
<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/4386319416/" title="feb 26 jokes by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2738/438 ... 7411c7.jpg" width="402" height="500" alt="feb 26 jokes"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/4385555735/" title="feb 26 jokes by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4052/438 ... a8060c.jpg" width="459" height="416" alt="feb 26 jokes"></a>

Posted: **Wed Mar 16, 2011 9:12 pm**

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/5533073649/" title="jokesmar by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5094/553 ... dfbbac.jpg" width="433" height="337" alt="jokesmar"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/5533087329/" title="jokesmar by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5136/553 ... 6310d4.jpg" width="343" height="500" alt="jokesmar"></a>

more Thursday

Posted: **Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:07 pm**

Posted: **Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:15 pm**

Posted: **Thu Mar 17, 2011 8:15 pm**

ruth see what you started

Posted: **Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:48 pm**

California Girl wrote:Hey Shoemak38! I just saw the goat pictures! Are those for real? What dam is that? Way cool!

got your answer
Diga del Cingino Dam , Italy

They are European Ibex and they like to eat the moss and lichen & lick the salt off the dam wall.

Posted: **Sat Mar 19, 2011 1:49 pm**

Posted: **Sat Mar 19, 2011 9:55 pm**

Posted: **Wed Mar 23, 2011 5:54 pm**

Walmart # 7 will be Thursday hi-light

MISSISSIPPI DEBUTANTE'S BALL

A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave.
The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from
the wife of a wealthy plantation owner:

"Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter Melinda's Debutante Ball.
I would like you to send four well-mannered, handsome, unmarried
officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They
should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite
Southern conversation. They should be excellent dancers, as they will
be the escorts of lovely refined young ladies. One last point: No Jews
please."

Sending a written message by his own yeoman, the captain replied:
Madam, thank you for your invitation. In order to present the widest
possible knowledge base for polite conversation, I am sending four of
my best and most prized officers. One is a lieutenant commander, and a
graduate of Annapolis with an additional Masters degree from MIT in
fluid technologies and ship design. The second is a Lieutenant, one of
our helicopter pilots, and a graduate of Northwestern University in
Chicago , with a BS in Aeronautical Engineering. His Masters Degree
and PhD. In Aeronautical and Mechanical Engineering are from Texas
Tech University and he is also an astronaut candidate. The third
officer is also a lieutenant, with degrees in both computer systems
and information technology from SMU and he is awaiting notification on
his Doctoral Dissertation from Cal Tech. Finally, the fourth officer,
also a lieutenant commander, is our ship’s doctor, with an
undergraduate degree from the University of Georgia and his medical
degree is from the University of North Carolina . We are very proud of
him, as he is also a senior fellow in Trauma Surgery at Bethesda .

Upon receiving this letter, Melinda’s mother was quite excited and
looked forward to Thursday with pleasure. Her daughter would be
escorted by four handsome naval officers without peer (and the other
women in her social circle would be insanely jealous).

At precisely 8:00 PM on Thursday, Melinda's mother heard a polite rap
at the door which she opened to find, in full dress uniform, four
handsome, smiling Black officers. Her mouth fell open, but pulling
herself together, she stammered, "There must be some mistake."

"No, Madam," said the first officer. "Captain Goldberg never makes mistakes."

Posted: **Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:11 pm**

I will sleep where I like!

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/5556906069/" title="jokesmar by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5067/555 ... 14ba_b.jpg" width="1024" height="655" alt="jokesmar"></a>

<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/27134057@N04/5557493658/" title="jokesmar by SHOEMAK38, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5178/555 ... b2ef_b.jpg" width="1024" height="659" alt="jokesmar"></a>

Posted: **Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:24 pm**

It's Walmart time

Posted: **Thu Mar 24, 2011 9:33 pm**

Mardi Bras family view, or was this after a couple of drinks at a sunday beach bar forum get together I forget

Posted: **Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:38 am**

A Lowe's Story!

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Lowe's and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.

When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"

The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."

This is why you can't send a woman to Lowe's!

Posted: **Mon Mar 28, 2011 9:39 am**

A Lowe's Story!

Charlie was installing a new door and found that one of the hinges was missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Lowe's and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the manager to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom faucet.

When the manager was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that faucet?"

The manager replied, "That's a gold plated faucet and the price is $500.00.

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is a very expensive faucet. It's certainly out of my price bracket."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The manager said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to get one.

From the storeroom the manager yelled. "Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the faucet."

This is why you can't send a woman to Lowe's!

USVI-On-Line

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