USVI-On-Line

Captain John hears a lot of them too I bet!

several yrs ago we took our granddaughters to stj (5&7 at the time)and stayed at cloud 9 on gifft hill with drop dead views. we had been there a couple of days, been to several of the north shore beaches, saw cows, donkeys and goats and having what i thought was generally a great time. late in the afternoon we were back cooling it at villa and the little girls were going back and forth from pool to hot tub. the property manager came by to see how things were going, saw the girls and asked if they were having fun. sure! they replied. the next question was: what's been your favorite thing so far? the little one with a big grin said immediately THE HOT TUB. as if it could be anything else.

papabou

Once heard a guy in the STT airport say "I like St.Thomas because there's no airport or golf course on St.John" Just shook my head He was as tan as milk!

After backing hard into the newly painted sign post at the Domino Station in Coral Bay, Hubby (who was driving with one contact after leaving the other somewhere near St James Island) pulls into the lane at the gas pump. Victor Hall rises from his chair by the door where he had seen and heard the whole event and comes over to the jeep. Fearing repairs may be costly we mumble something about fixing the dented metal post... Victor calmly smiles and says......... "Would you like to buy my Christmas CD?".
Yep... Listen to that CD every year!
Last time I looked the dent was still there.

"Is there a spot where you can swim under the island to get to the other side?"

"It must be nice not to have to pay the IRS taxes" (wrong- we pay taxes too)

"Can you see fish when you snorkel?"

"If you live here how come you aren't tan?" Answer- I have to work and I don't like skin cancer.

Similar to Polly's:
"How come the islands don't float away?"

One of my favorites was from a local, female bartender: The men in Coral Bay are like parking places; the best ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.

Oy - I'm bringing my family down in March (Parents, as well as my sister and her husband/kids) - I suspect that they'll drop a good deal of zingers around the island.

I'm waiting for the inevitable complaint of a) how the beach is so far away and b) why its so narrow.

My sister last went away with her husbands family to a villa at half moon bay in Jamaica, replete with butler and cook on call. They are in for a rude awakening, me thinks. But perhaps I'm too pessimistic.

On our way to our villa last June after a very long day of travel, my very hungry 10 yr old daughter spots a roadsign pointing to Coral Bay and very loudly and cheerfully exclaimed "Look, we can eat dinner in Cereal Bay"!

These are hysterical! I want to do Pia's job for a week. I can only imagine that it's hard not to laugh at times!

Sitting in the kiosk (you all know where just below St John Spice and next to Freebird)............

Tourist - "Can you tell me where the ocean is"
Pia - "Right behind you"
Tourist - "Behind me?"
Pia - Yes, just turn around and it is right behind you on the other side of the buildings"
Tourist - "These buildings?"
Pia - "Yes, these buildings right here - behind you"
Tourist - "Really - oh thank you"

Three of my all time favorite questions:

1) IS there rum in the rum punch?

2) Do the islands go all the way to the bottom?

3) I was hanging outside Uncle Joes BBQ waiting on my order. A middle aged couple wanders up clearly following their nose and the wonderful smells emanating from the grill.

I could see that they were having some serious angst about the disconnect between the way the place looked/location and the smell. (For the uninitiated to the island many don't know that the most basic spots in unusual locations are often the best. A classic example of don't judge a book by its cover).

After a few minutes of watchign them argue quietly back and forth, I asked them politely if they had a question or needed some guidance.

They looked at me in a most serious way and said, "Is it safe?"
"Is what safe?" I asked.
"The food," they replied.

I tried to stifle my giggle and I said, "I'm waiting for my order as we speak."

Looking absolutely relieved they sat down and proceeded to order.

I never stuck around to see if they liked the food, but I hope they did!

My favorite was told to me by Captain Jordan, formerly of Lion in Da Sun...

tourist- "is there a law that all the boats in the harbor have to face the same way?"

captain jordan - "yes mam, its called the law of physics"

Ok, this goes back 5 or 6 years. My husband and I were the last 2 left on Jumbie. It was late in the day probley 430 or 5ish and we were all the way down on the end. We were in our chairs, backs to the ocean getting every last bit of sun for the day when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I looked down the beach to the clearing where you enter Jumbie and saw a gentleman standing there. He was all dressed up in his bermuda shorts and island print shirt. He also was wearing knee socks and a straw hat. Anyway, he starts walking down the beach towards us and I nudge my husband and tell him we have a visitor. Can't imagine what this guy is doing but we continue to soak in the rays. So he finally makes it down to us and stops directly in front of our beach chairs and says to us.....Pardon me folks, are you waiting on a taxi??? To this day every time we are on Jumbie we think of him and crack up.

"Do you need a flashlight for night diving?"