USVI-On-Line

I would be willing to pay a reasonable fee for chicken removal.

From a consumer's perspective, I think the Per Chicken fee would be based on a number of factors.

A typical business plan might involve just moving chickens from one neighborhood to another. I would pay a little for that, per chicken. That's the "I Don't Care Where You Take Them, Just Somewhere Else" plan.

Another business plan might involve converting these chickens into a food source. I would definitely pay more for that. An "Eat More Chicken on St. John" campaign would expedite things.

The problem with that plan is that someone who was really good at chicken removal would work themselves out of a job eventually.

Therefore, I think this opportunity is best for someone who wants to swoop in, do a great job, make a killing and then retire.

If this job is for you, I will be your first customer.

- Ruth

jmq,
St. John Hardware is already marketing a solar pool heating system.
I don't know much about it yet, but I will soon.

- Ruth

StJohnRuth wrote:I would be willing to pay a reasonable fee for chicken removal.

From a consumer's perspective, I think the Per Chicken fee would be based on a number of factors.

A typical business plan might involve just moving chickens from one neighborhood to another. I would pay a little for that, per chicken. That's the "I Don't Care Where You Take Them, Just Somewhere Else" plan.

Another business plan might involve converting these chickens into a food source. I would definitely pay more for that. An "Eat More Chicken on St. John" campaign would expedite things.

The problem with that plan is that someone who was really good at chicken removal would work themselves out of a job eventually.

Therefore, I think this opportunity is best for someone who wants to swoop in, do a great job, make a killing and then retire.

If this job is for you, I will be your first customer.

- Ruth

Not really, if someone was good at the removal they would be smart enough to have a few of them mate and secreatly plant the little chics in Cruz Bay while nobody was watching.

We have been lobbying my husband to do a rib shack type restaurant in Coral Bay... he makes fabulous ribs, chicken wings, pork tenderloin, etc.....

I could do the eat more chicken on STJ and the don't care where they are plan on STT with letting them go on STJ so the job would last till my pension kicked in.

.
Buzzkill? No, Cluck kill... Not on my watch!

Not to be a buzzkill, but I've launched and run three
very successful restaurants on St John: The Beach Bar
with Allan, Tage with Ted & Bill, and The Tourist Trap
with Larry. Trust me... unless you have money you can
afford to throw away, you do not want to come down
here and open a restaurant until you come down here
and work in a restaurant for at least a year. If you
open a restaurant here without first knowing the lay
of the land you just took what in a best case scenario
is a rough road (opening a restaurant) and you poured
oil all over that road then covered it with nine inch nails and
disconnected your breaks. This is one of those rare occasions
when I know of what I speak...

Also, the going is not much easier over in the Chicken Management sector:
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/200 ... 604-6467r/
so I don't know...

I do know that I would LOVE to see Ruth in
a "Get the PLUCK out of here" t-shirt. Heeeelarious.

Here's a photo of me last week outside St John Spice.
Since I'm totally nude in the following picture, I'm obviously
not wearing a shirt that says "Get the Pluck out of here",
rather I am wearing a look on my face that says....




(It's true, I'm totally nude in this photo. I don't have on any clothes under that chicken
suit. It's true! And I'm really outside of St John Spice! It's true!)

Hey, Cheryl!
I say you got lemons, then make lemonade. Got chickens? Make chicken salad.
I find it very interesting that you don't see a lot of chickens running around the Tourist Trap.

I don't have anything useful to add to this thread but it sure is funny!

I have a business for sale on STJ. Here's link to an online story about it.

Sloop

http://barnako.typepad.com/news_of_st_j ... -john.html

TouristTrapCheryl wrote:I've launched and run three
very successful restaurants on St John: The Beach Bar
with Allan, Tage with Ted & Bill, and The Tourist Trap
with Larry. Trust me... unless you have money you can
afford to throw away, you do not want to come down
here and open a restaurant until you come down here
and work in a restaurant for at least a year.

You make it difficult to take your advice when its apparent that added competition to your restaurants would be against your interests.

TouristTrapCheryl wrote: Not to be a buzzkill, but I've launched and run three
very successful restaurants on St John: The Beach Bar
with Allan, Tage with Ted & Bill, and The Tourist Trap
with Larry. Trust me... unless you have money you can
afford to throw away, you do not want to come down
here and open a restaurant until you come down here
and work in a restaurant for at least a year...

This reminds me of that saying, "If you want to make a small fortune in this business, start with a large fortune." (The first time I heard that it was in a discussion about owning a vinyard.)

Cheryl I think your advice of working in a restaurant on island before trying to run one is great. I have a couple friends in the restaurant biz in Chicago and from what I can tell it's not for the faint of heart!

You say you want to open a restaurant on STJ? No problem...

Top 10 Secrets To Operating a Successful STJ Restaurant

10) First, create a signature rum drink (use Everclear instead of rum...cheaper, more potent) and name it after a particularly virulent wild animal found on STJ or just make a pun out of a popular island landmark like everybody else…Examples (no charge, they’re on the house): Donkey Punch or Chocolate Hole Milk of Amnesia

9) Make sure your food tastes better than your restaurant looks…I can’t stress this enough. In retail, exceeding expectations is typically more important than creating them. Write that down.

Develop t-shirts, hats and bumper stickers waxing poetic about your signature appetizer or entrée…people are basically superficial elitists and can’t hardly wait to make all their friends jealous with tangible proof that they “ate the infamous Reef Bay Gut Buster at the Beached Bum Café on St. John.”

7) Hire a friendly, attractive wait staff with questionable morals and emotionally unavailable fathers…and start a rumor that your hostess was an extra in the last Kenny Chesney video.

6) Hang 8x10" glossies of B-List celebrities on your walls and forge barely legible notes from them about the time they got drunk and played strip poker at your restaurant ‘til sunrise with Erik Estrada, Maureen McCormick, and Gary Coleman. R.I.P., Arnold, we'll miss ya.

5) Two words: Drink Specials…because when you’re drinking, every hour is happy hour, even 9am. Even if it’s the same high price you always charge, make me feel “special” damn it! I'm on vacation.

4) Allow patrons to prove they “were here” at your restaurant by encouraging them to write stupid non-sequiturs on your tables and bathroom walls…true, you may not want Ed and Bev from Cuyahoga Falls to carve their love into the load bearing beam holding up your cistern, but it will give them something to do if the service is slow and trust me, it will be.

3) Whenever possible, challenge your customers’ manhood…all-you-can-muscle conch fritter night, special t-shirt or mug for Champions who drink every type of beer in the house, Jell-o shots congealing small fish, mosquitoes, and no-see-ums, etc. If it works on a frat boy, it’ll work on a tourist. Same basic mental dynamic.

2) Bribe locals to eat dinner at your bar, get drunk, and tell any tourist who will listen about how your restaurant is the only thing that reminds them of the way St. John was before thosd damn greedy developers showed up. Nostalgia is basically emotional blackmail in the retail industry. Write that down.

1) And finally...don’t open on Monday, tell people your commodes are eco-friendly, and whatever you do, don’t piss off the Vegans. Just put some tree bark on a plate with a sprig of mint and a watercress and call it a Salade with an "e."

BONUS: Develop a signature hot sauce. On my last trip to STJ, I noticed everybody had a hot sauce. If you can't do that, just mix up some Tobasco with some mango chutney. Tourists won't know the difference until the next morning when they crap fire.

54b-that is hiliarious.

I love you 54b.

54B - I thought I was reading a Letterman's Top 10 list. Very funny stuff!